


The Incident

by tbzlovers



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Accidents, Dancing, Eventual Happy Ending, First Meetings, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot Twists, Serious Injuries, Strangers to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 45,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27999009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbzlovers/pseuds/tbzlovers
Summary: Meeting a gorgeous red-haired dancer had not been part of Hyunjae’s plans when he had gone out alone that Sunday afternoon.But maybe someone like Juyeon is exactly what he has been needing for the past months. Possibly his whole life.(Or Hyunjae has just gone through what was arguably the worst year of his life, after an 'Incident' that left marks. Meeting a man with looks carved out of marble and matching personality might just be what he needs to start healing. Especially when they seem to share an unexplainable connection...)
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Ju Haknyeon/Kim Sunwoo, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae & Lee Juyeon, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 83
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

Hyunjae first met Juyeon on a sunny Sunday afternoon while taking a lonesome walk through downtown.

It was around 4pm, and lone strolls were something he had grown the habit of in the past months. He had come to realize how incredibly helpful they were in getting one’s ideas in order, especially when one was roommates with a very-in-love couple who sometimes inadvertently reminded him he was 28 and still had not managed to get out of his single bubble.

Not that it was Younghoon or Chanhee’s fault. In fact, every time he had considered moving out in the past weeks, to let them have their own space, or commented that he was brainstorming through apartment ads, Chanhee had gotten wholly worked up, telling him that it was nonsense for him to do that and that “the timing was not right yet”. Whatever that meant.

Thus, he was sauntering around, just side-eyeing stores, even though he did not plan on buying anything today, and enjoying himself, when he heard it. From afar, faint but surely, there was that echoing of music that could only come from street busking, and so Hyunjae took a turn to his left, to follow the sound.

Indeed, a few meters away, he was meet a large crowd encircling a band of what could only be kids, what with their telling school uniforms that made no sense on a Sunday but were probably there as a crowd-seeking element. They were singing an old American pop song, he had heard it some times on the radio, and giving it all out. The female vocalist was belting out the notes perfectly, almost as well as the original singer, and the crowd seemed to be loving it.

Hyunjae stayed, nodding and humming along to the song with a small smile on his face. He might be 28 and counting but he still remembered the thrill of being young and performing to a crowd, eagerly waiting to see the reactions behind the piercing eyes of strangers. Back when he was part of his high school’s dance club and they performed at the year-end showcase, there was nothing like the final applause of that auditorium full of parents. So Hyunjae knew these kids would carry forever with them the fact that so many people had gathered to see them.

The music ended, the girl smiling happily at everyone encircling the band and taking a shy bow. She turned back and high-fived one of the boys with a guitar, who simply smiled back and put down the instrument to grab another mic. Hyunjae smiled to himself. _A duet then._

However, right before the beat started, the girl raised the microphone quickly to her lips, addressing the crowd. “Thank you so much for taking your time to see us performing! We’re going to sing a famous dance song now, so if you want to join and show some moves, help us make this performance spectacular!” She ended with a cheeky grin.

The beat started right after, courtesy of the boy behind the keyboard connected to a small laptop. Hyunjae smiled to himself. He did know the song, and quite well apparently. His brain was providing him with the information _“The way I are –_ Timbaland _”_ even before the boy who had grabbed a mic started rapping to the lyrics.

_“I ain’t got no money”_

Hyunjae wondered if anyone would break out of their shell to dance, like the band had incited. He looked around, trying to check, but the crowd seemed definitely more interested in listening.

Hyunjae wouldn't lie to himself. His body _wanted to_. His stomach was filling itself with those performance jitters that he rarely feels these days, to the point he had to clench his fists inside his pockets, to not do something rowdy. Because he no longer danced like that, hadn’t in too long. Yes, he still got his moves (a healthy man should exercise frequently, and no sport ever felt as right to him as dance did), but choreographies no longer lived outside the space of his bedroom.

It wasn’t as if he was avoiding something unspoken or forbidding himself from showcasing his abilities. It simply did not make sense for Hyunjae aymore to go and put on a dance performance, or join a dance studio, even as a hobby, at 28. Much less after The Incident. Just at home for himself, after work hours, was enough.

And so another, younger, livelier, and less bashful Hyunjae might have considered putting himself out there and freestyling some body rolls (even if his subconscious seemed assured of knowing a choreography to the song). But for all that he could be a very loud and boisterous person, he was too shy to venture himself alone in front of a bunch of kids probably ten years younger than him. So, he stayed watching.

Even if he was not the best at English, it seemed like his brain knew all the lyrics, so he was mouthing along to them while preventing his arms from moving like they were begging him to.

He pulled out his phone from his coat pocket in the meantime, remembering he had left home without letting his roommates know, and thus they could be looking for him, but his screen was thankfully void of notifications.

He had just been pocketing it again after a briefly texted _“forgot to let you guys know but i came downtown”_ , when the crowd’s volume suddenly rose around him.

He lifted his head quickly to see what all the commotion was about, and noticed that everyone was looking to his left. Was someone taking up on the dance challenge?

Perfectly positioned at the front of the performance, Hyunjae watched as a man emerged and walked timidly the improved stage created by the distance between the band and the onlookers, a nervous smile on.

Well, _man_ would be a euphemism to suffice in little words the person in front of him.

Hyunjae couldn't help but think it was plainly rude to people like him, who didn’t even fair that badly in the looks the department, to be reminded that some men really grew up to look like a Greek statue given life to. He was absolutely sure the man’s sharp jawline had been carved out of marble, because that thing could not be real. In all honesty, nothing in his face did. There was something absolutely infuriating about the shape of his lips, corners turned upwards, or the slanted cat-like eyes crinkling in the corners from the man’s bashful smile, or his long nose that Hyunae was pretty sure no one else in the world would pull off and look that good.

Or just his hair. Maybe if Hyunjae bleached his hair less, it would look shiny like that, but having experienced four-months old dark roots once had been enough for a life time. Plus he was way too fond of the current light caramel colour on him to let go of it. In contrast, the man’s strands, were violently red, with an eerie orange hue reflected from the sunlight, sloppily falling over his forehead. It gave him a boyish vibe that nothing else in his sharp looks went along with, but which put together made complete sense.

And his body proportions. _Oh god_ , his body proportions. How could someone have the slimmest waist, perfect for him to circle with his arms ( _let’s not go there Hyunjae_ ), and then shoulders broad enough for his back muscles to be plainly evident through his t-shirt, so visible when he turned behind himself to dump his bomber jacket carelessly next to the rapper kid. People should not be allowed to get both things going on for them. It was rude to other, less deity-looking, humans.

It was like someone had quizzed Hyunjae on how the ideal man would look like, and had put all of it together in this one fine specimen timidly facing the curious audience. Everything combined gave him the look of a well-poised black panther, definitely something Hyunjae was not strong enough to deal with.

_“Talk to me girl”_

The man started dancing, albeit shy, but with a confidence to his moves that he recognized as experience. Hyunjae could tell that performing like this was not unfamiliar to the man, but the impromptu Sunday afternoon crowd probably was. And fuck if the the self-assurance didn't just make him hotter.

However, just as he was about done with shamelessly ogling the beautiful human, his brain caught up to something, even more off-putting than the looks of the stranger. His mind could be playing tricks with him, but deep down Hyunjae knew it wasn't.

Those were the exact same moves Hyunjae would have pulled if he had gone dancing, in beat with the song. The foreign performance his brain had seemed to be building out of nowhere, that his body had been itching to dance to, suddenly seemed less foreign, coming to life in the body of the gorgeous redhead in front of him.

And yes, there was definitely a part of Hyunjae that was questioning where and when did he learn this choreography after all. If the gorgeous stranger knew it too, then it could not have been made from his mind like he initially thought. However, it had become customary these days for him to put those thoughts aside as something explained with The Incident, and so his brain was much more preoccupied with how much he now wanted to join the man on the pseudo-stage.

His body was itching, fingers clenching and unclenching at his side, wanting to prove himself too, even if he had just told himself that the kind of guts needed to just dance like this in front of a crowd were not something he possessed anymore.

 _Shit_ , he didn't remember ever being as spiked to do something as he was right now.

He took an involuntarily step forward before he even realized it. He caught up to his unprompted actions quickly though, and made to retreat, but his simple move had been enough to catch the eyes of some of the onlookers, and worse, of the dancing god. The man was now side-eying him, eyebrows raised expectantly, a glimmer of hope in his look from not having to be the only one in the crowd putting himself out there. He did not stop his moves however, still clean and precise and definitely sleeker than what the setting required of him.

And still speaking to Hyunjae’s own body like sirens calling to fishermen.

 _Fuck it_ , he’s is doing it.

Before he could psyche himself out of it, Hyunjae was walking forward while taking off his coat, throwing it next to the keyboardist, a small raised eyebrow letting the kid know he was to make sure the coat was still there after the song ended. The boy replied back with a chilled thumbs-up, so at least Hyunjae could rest assured that even if he had definitely gone crazy, he would still have his phone and wallet by the end of this.

He heared from around him the roars of people excited to see someone else joining the dancing party, but he tried to ignore the embarrassment that gave him, turning instead to the man on his side, who was looking at him with a mix of relief, wide-eyed admiration, and something else Hyunjae couldn't quite place (because no, it couldn't be awe), dance halted in the meantime, waiting for what he may be planning.

Using up the last of the courage inside him, Hyunjae smirked confidently at the man, raising his head in a challenge, and shouting a “Why did you stop?” above the music, right before the beginning of the post-chorus.

And then he was dancing.

_“Baby if you strip, you can get a tip, cause”_

He was dancing and letting go in the way he only ever did inside his apartment, going over the routine his brain had been plaguing him with, and that this otherworldly-looking man at his side also knew.

It actually felt amazing.

There was a moment where the redhead stays frozen, confused, just like Hyunjae had been moments ago, probably taking in that they knew the same routine.

But just like Hyunjae, the performance jitters overthrew the rest. He was sure both were having thoughts on the same wavelength, something along the lines of _this will look so much more amazing if we do it together. S_ o the other got himself back in position, little smile on, right as the final lines in the first post chorus were sung.

_“I don’t need the G’s or the car keys, boy”_

And so, they were dancing.

Hyunjae knew he would probably sound like a walking cliché if Chanhee or Hoon got a hang of his thoughts, but it did feel like the world around them disappeared, like there was nothing but the two of them dancing in a bubble, only the voices of the boy and girl around them.

It wa nothing sort of magical, Hyunjae thought, the way they followed behind each other and completed the steps, like this dance had been made to be danced by a pair, and they just happened to fit the two opposing roles perfectly.

Hyunjae found himself with a blissful smile all throughout the impromptu performance, and was pleased to see, every time they locked eyes, that the stranger seemed to be in a similar state. He was pretty sure his feelings, his excitement over what was happening, over this insane moment, were going to burst out of his chest at any moment. The last time he had felt such bubbling happiness had probably been three months ago, when he beat Younghoon’s 2-year-old Mario Kart record, and in truth, that couldn’t really compare.

They danced until the song ended, wearing out their muscles as the crowd soared and the girl and boy sang excitedly on each side of them, clearly not having expected their simple band street performance to evolve into something like this. Hyunjae couldn't blame them, he really hadn't either.

All too soon the song was ending, applause echoing around them from an audience that had grown in size while they had been dancing.

They quickly disentangled themselves from the position the song had them ending in, Hyunjae facing forward and the stranger glued to his right, facing backwards, heads tilted down and each of them with a hand resting on the lower back of the other (he tried, unsuccessfully, not to overthink the size of the palm that had touched him and spreaded heat like a wildfire), to acknowledge the world around them.

They were both panting, chest heaving as they humbly bowed, first to the members of the band, and then to the crowd encircling them. Then they face deach other, making to bow too, but halted their movement when they finally got to absorb the presence next to them.

The red-haired stared at Hyunjae in amazement for a moment, the look on his face disbelieving, a silent question in his eyes. A “ _What just happened in here?”_ , Hyunjae assumed.

He simply beamed blindly at the man and shrugged. He was way too tired to consider a more proper explanation. He would much rather shower him in compliments, because for all that the man was a walking Greek statue, he was an incredibly talented dancer, like Hyunjae didn't remember seeing in a long time. He was preparing to do just that when the vocalist of the band approached them with her hands clasped.

“Thank you so much for what you just did, this was amazing, we can’t thank you enough.” She said while bowing profusely.

“There’s -”

The man beats him to the punch before Hyunjae could continue “Oh, you don’t have to. This was awesome, you guys are an amazing band.”

_Shit._

Hyunjae considered his life options right then and there, in the seconds it took for the man to finish talking, and concluded none is viable for him. In fact, Hyunjae was going to have a stroke and die at 28 of an unexpected heart condition, he was sure of it.

He could already imagine Chanhee at his funeral, a bothered look on his face while reciting a speech somewhere along the lines of _“this is why men have always been the weaker species”_. But he would have to accept that Hyunjae wuldn't make it past this instant right here.

All because of the voice of one male specimen. A pity if he was honest, and after all he had gone through, but there was no way he could bear to listen to the deep husky tone of the man once more and come out of it unscathed. It was just impossible.

The girl has no sympathy for his internal breakdown however, and she just smiled adoringly at them both and thanked them once again, making the red-haired smile back at her with warmth in his eyes. Someone save Hyunjae.

“It’s amazing that you made it seem like you weren’t here together from the start, I think that’s what the audience loved the most.”

_Wait, no. What?_

Please, Hyunjae could only wish that were the case.

“Oh, actually -”

“No, no -”

“- But oh well,” the girl continued without preamble, “you both seem really tired, would you like some water?” She pointed at something behind the bassist, and indeed, there rested unopened bottles of water that suddenly looked like golden bars. Amidst ogling the perfect stranger’s sweaty look, Hyunjae had forgotten how thirsty he actually was.

He motioned to the other, letting a out a small “After you?”, and both made their way there, Hyunjae grabbing his coat in the meantime.

They drank to their hearts desire and the man also stole some tissues to wipe his brows. There was an awkward silence slowly building around them, of which Hyunjae had had enough of.

“You’re an amazing dancer.” he finally decided to say, even if it meant having to hear the other’s voice once again and most likely die in the process.

The other lowered his head shyly. “Thank you.” _Yep, death._ “You too. Like. Really great. That -” he shook his head, probably putting his thoughts in order. “That was amazing. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t worry.” Hyunjae smiled. “A bit overwhelming, right?”

The other nodded vehemently. “Yeah, a bit.” He tilted his head confused. “But have we met before?”

Hyunjae shrugged. “Not that I know of.” _Hopefully I would at least remember if I had ever seen a face like that._

The other nodded along. “I see. Sorry.” he shook his head “It’s just -”

“I understand. The dance.”

The redhead smiled relieved, seeing he didn't need to explain his confusion. “Yeah.”

However, Hyunjae was still curious. “But I have to ask, where did you learn this routine?”

The other shrugged, and scratched his head. “Yeah I… Would you believe me if I told you I actually don’t know? Because I really don’t. But where did you?”

That threw Hyunjae a bit off the loop. He had been sure the other would at least have an answer to this. However, it was not like he can blame him. Not when he didn't remember either, even if he knew the reason for that. “Well, I have no clue too, so I guess we’re on the same boat.” He huffed.

The other stared back for some moments, before blurting out quickly “I’m Lee Juyeon.”

Oh. _Juyeon_. He liked it.

“Lee Jaehyun.”

The man - _Juyeon_ , Hyunjae corrected himself - nodded, cheeks tinting a bit rose suddenly. “Then, Jaehyun-ssi, what would you say we go get some coffee together and rest our bodies inside a warm coffee shop?”

Hyunjae paused bewildered for a fraction of a second. Amazing. Thank god. Juyeon hadn't even given him time to overthink how he would get to ask for the exact same thing.

He beamed at him. “I’d say that sounds spectacular.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it this far!  
> pls pls leave kudos and comments <<<3 i really really appreciate all feedback, and it fuels me.
> 
> To imagine how jujae would dance together, I heavily inspired myself in my knowledge of dancing, but also in [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFpqXvBaKp4&ab_channel=HYdancestudio), Hyunjae is the girl and Juyeon the man, in case you wanted to get a better picture of the scene.
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjae and Juyeon get to know each other over coffee, and Hyunjae panics, and gay panics, over the gorgeous man in front of him. Someone save Chanhee.

The coffee burning through Hyunjae’s throat felt like heaven after his body temperature had lowered. Their little dancing stunt had left him with a combination of a bit of sweat and some lack of breath in his lungs, and with the cool air of November biting through his clothes, everything had him shivering. The Starbucks beverage was a godsend. Having the most insanely good-looking man he had ever seen looking at him from behind his own mug with something akin to fondness was definitely an added improvement.

They opted to enter the first coffee shop they stumbled upon, which happened to be a Starbucks, after Juyeon realized how Hyunjae was feeling uncomfortable under the weather. On the contrary, the redhead seemed to be fairing decently well even as a small drop of sweat fell for behind his red fringe. Hyunjae wondered for a moment if he was one of those walking furnace humans, who dealt easily with low temperatures, unlike him who struggled to keep warm under the bed sheets as soon as winter started, and slept under 3 blankets. Was this man really God’s ideal prototype?

He got the explanation soon after.

“I’m a dance teacher, so I’m used to the sweat. It doesn’t bother you as much after you have to go home sometimes without taking a shower.” Juyeon chuckled lightly as he explained, taking a sip from his coffee.

“Oh.” Hyunjae wisely replied. He was torn between realizing how much that made sense (of course someone who had danced the way Juyeon did had to work in the dance industry), but also how insanely hot that sounded. The vivid image of Juyeon wearing a sleeveless shirt plastered to his body, black hair matted to his forehead, heavy breathing after a dance sequence, flooded his mind unprompted, and Hyunjae felt himself blushing furiously at the thought.

“But also I don’t get cold easily.” Juyeon continued with no regards for his sanity. “Usually I’m okay even if I forget my coat home.”

 _For fucks sake._ Indeed God’s ideal prototype.

“I was going to offer you my coat actually, but then we saw the Starbucks.” He pouted. “I’m sorry I wasn’t much of a gentleman.”

Hyunjae wanted to scream.

“Oh.” He replied eloquently once again. Juyeon, who looked like a walking sin, like what the author of fifty shades had in mind when she wrote Mr Gray (not that Hyunjae had read the novel), had just pouted at him. Because he thought he should have kept Hyunjae warmer _._

_Chanhee better sing a good ballad at my funeral._

“I promise I’ll do better next time.” Juyeon continued.

Next time. _Next time_. What.

“N-no need.” He finally managed to blurt out. “I was fine, please don’t make yourself cold because of me.” He assured, and paused for a second before adding on, “Next time.”

Juyeon stared at him for a brief moment, as a shy grin blossomed beautifully on his face. Hyunjae felt a weight get off his chest. The other had understood the implied message. They both wanted to see each other again after today.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Then tell me more about you Jaehyun-ssi. What do you work on?”

“Hyunjae.”

“Sorry?”

“Please call me Hyunjae, it’s what my friends call me.”

“Oh. Okay Hyunjae-ssi.” he smiled at him.

Hyunjae tried not to overthink (and failed) how good his nickname sounded coming out of the other’s lips, like it had been created with the specific purpose of being exhaled by those cat-like uplifted corners. God, he needed to get a grip of himself.

“I’m a HR manager,” he finally replied to the other, shrugging off his embarrassment, “just your typical 9 to 5 job.”

“Oh, so you work at a company?” Juyeon asked, seeming genuinely interested.

“At a bank actually. I took business in college, so I’ve been there for some years now apparently, and -” he stopped when he saw Juyeon chuckling in front of him. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s just that you said you _apparently_ work there.”

Hyunjae felt himself freezing. Shit. It was a slip up, he wasn’t planning on talking about That this soon. Why was he like this?

He huffed, trying to seem nonchalant. “Of course I do, I- I didn’t mean like I don’t know what I’m d- doing in my -”

“Hey hey, fuck, I’m sorry” Juyeon interrupted him, putting his hand on top of Hyunjae’s on the table. “I’m sorry if I touched something serious. I didn’t mean to.” He squeezed his hand. “Shit, you’re trembling. I’m sorry if it was something I said.”

Hyunjae stared at the man in front of him, a smile slowly blossoming. “You apologized three times already.”

Juyeon nodded vehemently. “And I will continue if you want me to. Sorry.”

That had Hyunjae chuckling. He was starting to see the intimidating looking man was actually a softie. He turned his palm around, squeezing Juyeon’s back (god, his hand really was huge), “It just… there’s actually something about it. It’s -”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah, very much.”

“Then you don’t have to tell me. We just met. And like, this way, we know there’s more stuff to talk about, when we see each other again. So let’s save it for another date?”

He exhaled. The way Juyeon was able to read him kept leaving him speechless. “Thank you. Yes. One day I’ll explain better, I promise.”

“Whenever you feel comfortable, Hyunjae-ssi.” Juyeon assured him.

“It means a lot. That you for understanding. I mean it. Some people haven’t, and they know what happened.

“Then they’re assholes, just ignore them. Unless you killed someone, then yes, maybe I would need a bit more time to take it in. Did you kill someone Hyunjae-ssi?”

Hyunjae giggled at that. “No, I don’t think I did. And also you shouldn’t have to address me so formally. How old are you?”

“Oh, right. I’ll be 28 in 2 months.”

Hyunjae smirked, “Well, I’m already 28. So please call me hyung.”

“Really?” Juyeon seemed truly surprised, eyes widening comically. “Wow. You look so young and handsome, I thought I would be the older one.” he continued, seemingly unaware of the compliment he had just bestowed upon Hyunjae.

Hyunjae himself was trying very hard to calm down the screaming voices in his head yelling _HE THINKS WE’RE HANDSOME_ , shakily replying “Guess not.”

“So, I should call you Hyunjae-hyung?”

Hyunjae took a deep breath.

_Paper cuts. Naked old women. Younghoon’s cooking._

He flooded his thoughts with the most unpleasant images, trying to calm down his heart and… other regions. Having the redhead calling him hyung should not be making his blood rush south like this. _Get a grip Hyunjae._

“Yeah.” He nodded stupidly.

Juyeon looked back sheepishly. “Okay hyung.” _you’re a strong man Hyunjae_ “But I’m curious, how is a 9 to 5 worker like you dancing the way you did just now?”

Oh, this Hyunjae could talk about.

“I took dance lessons when I was young. Ten-year-old Jaehyun dreamt of being an idol one day, so I started having hip hop classes, and then kind of never stopped?”

“You wanted to be an idol?”

Hyunjae grinned, “That dream went away soon. My older sister had a friend training at one of those big companies and she was always suffering a lot. So I never even went to any auditions.”

“But you kept dancing?”

“Yes, I didn’t leave my hometown’s dance club, I had a lot of fun there, and I guess I kept on doing it even when I moved here for college. Well, you’re a dancer, right? You know how great it feels. I could never see myself doing another sport.”

“Of course. And where do you practice now?”

“Oh,” he shrugged “just at home. My roommates let me use the living room for it.”

Juyeon leaned forward, eyebrows furrowed. “You mean you don’t even have a dance room?”

Hyunjae frowned. “No, I don’t go to like a gym or studio if that’s what you’re asking. Why, is there a problem?”

“No, of course not. I just really admire you. You did so well today, I thought you had to be part of some crew.”

Never mind Hyunjae getting defensive about his wariness towards his own dancing, only for Juyeon to throw more unprompted compliments at him for it.

“Remember the topic we’re leaving for another day?” he tried to explain, hopefully not too cryptically. Juyeon nodded along, so Hyunjae figured he understood. “Well, I couldn’t dance for a long while. It’s related. So when I finally got to do it again I really needed to get back in shape and just started by some YouTube classes.” He shrugged. “I guess that’s still what I’m doing.”

“Just for yourself then?”

“Yes, every other afternoon I just search for something and try to learn it.”

“You’re amazing.”

Hyunjae took his hand from under Juyeon’s (he hadn’t even realized they had kept on holding each other) and pressed it against his face, embarrassed. “Please stop, I should be the one saying something like that. I promise you none of the guys in the YouTube classes I saw was as good as you.”

Juyeon gave him a mischievous look. “I won’t stop. You really did great out there, I wish I could see more of it eventually. And I could show you what I know too.”

“I guess maybe next time.”

“I guess. It looks like we have a lot of next times planned already.”

“Got a problem with it?” Hyunjae teased.

“None at all. I think I’d like to take you to my dance studio.”

That had him widening his eyes. “You have your own dance studio? That’s amazing.”

“No, no, I don’t.” Juyeon waved his hands in front of him alarmed. He inhaled before explaining. “I’m allowed to go to the studio I work at whenever I want, and I can take people with me. It is my dream to open my own studio eventually of course, but that’s a big step. Maybe one day, who knows.”

“I think you have what it takes.”

Juyeon huffed. “You saw me dancing once.”

“Exactly. And I know what I saw. Or are you saying I don’t look experienced enough to know what I’m talking about?” he raised an eyebrow.

“No, of course not, you dance really well, I-” Juyeon paused, looking at the smirk the other was sending his way. “You’re fucking with me.”

Hyunjae laughed out loud. “The face you just made, oh my god.”

Soon Juyeon joined him laughing too, and the two just stood there until finally calming their lungs, a peaceful atmosphere around them. Juyeon looked beautiful with the halo of the setting sun coming from the big windows of the coffee shop shining around his hair. Hyunjae felt honoured to be in his presence.

“It’s getting late.” The younger commented.

“It is.”

“I want to see you again.”

Hyunjae smiled at him. “Well, we do have a lot of plans for our next times, right?”

“Exactly. Are you free on Friday?”

“Not really? I have work.”

“No, no, I mean in the evening. I would like to take you out for dinner.”

“Oh.” He felt his cheeks get red instantly. “Then yes, I am.”

“Perfect. It’s a date.”

“I like the sound of that.”

**

They parted ways just as the twilight set around them, phone numbers traded (and saved under ‘ _Gorgeous_ ’ in Hyunjae’s phone, not that the other need to know). Juyeon gave him a quick wave before turning around and walking away, while Hyunjae stayed behind, immovable for a while, taking everything that had just happened.

He had a date. With the hottest person he had ever seen. In five days.

They had just had coffee. They had held hands.

He was in desperate need of some yelling into void.

Chanhee. Chanhee would understand.

He tightened his coat around him, and headed home.

**

“Chanhee!” The man screamed as he entered the apartment in a flurry. “Chanhee! You guys home?”

“Jae?” the pink haired man appeared from the kitchen, confused, a taller dark-haired figure looming above him, also looking startled.

“Oh, great, you both are here.” He sighed in relief as he trudged to the adjacent living room and plotted himself dramatically on the couch. “I need support.”

Now Chanhee was worried. He walked over to Hyunjae, Younghoon in tow, and sat on the arm of the sofa, patting their hassled friend’s leg. “What happened? Hadn’t you gone downtown?”

“I did yes. But Chanhee! I -”

“Jae, wait, do you want me to leave you guys alone?” Younghoon interrupted apprehensive. “If it’s something you only want to tell Chanhee I can go to the kitchen.”

“No no, please stay.” He motioned for Younghoon to get closer. “I need as many friends as possible right now. Chanhee is just better at advice on this.”

“But what is it then? You’re making us confused.”

Hyunjae looked over distressed and grabbed his friend’s tattooed pinky. “Chanhee, today I met the most gorgeous man in the world.”

_Uh?_

Silence.

Chanhee looked emptily into the void, a stare Hyunjae had come to know meant passive anger, whilst Younghoon pinned him with a look that, if he hadn’t been there when his friend’s 10-year-old-self had peed in the bushes of his grandma’s backyard, would’ve made him cower in shame.

“Lee Jaehyun.” Chanhee took a deep breath. “I was fucking worried this was something serious.”

Hyunjae sat up indignant. “Well it is!”

“Just because you found a man attractive?! I thought you were in trouble! That this was serious!”

“Well, and it is! When have I ever said something like this?” He flapped “Until today you and Hoon-ah were the only men I considered pretty, you know this!”

Chanhee started at his friend, seeing how serious he looked about it. Hyunjae indeed wasn’t lying, he was not one to get worked up over handsome people. He was always ready to explain that for him, the prettiest people in the world were his family and friends, because those were the ones he had had “the luxury” of spending time with and learning how beautiful inside and out they were, so he never really made judgements out loud on looks at first glance, at first meeting. Or better, he had, only once. But that would be a subject for a different day.

Chanhee grabbed Hyunjae’s hand back and smiled at him, giving him reason. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have invalidated you. So c’mon,” he urged him on, “tell us about this oh-so-beautiful person.”

The beam Hyunjae gave them back lit something inside warm Chanhee and Younghoon. They had not seen this genuine happiness in their friend, without any tiredness behind his eyes, in a really long while.

“It was insane! Guys, I didn’t even know I had a type but yeah, that’s my type, it’s him, I swear I would have climbed him like a tree the moment I saw him if that weren’t like, extremely inappropriate -”

“I really don’t need details of that.” Younghoon interrupted.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He said while grinning, clearly not sorry about it. “Anyways, we went for coffee, he invited me, can you believe it?”

“Of course we can, I’m sorry to let you know like this but you’re hot Hyunjae. People notice you.”

“Shut up you demon.” He said, hitting Chanhee playfully.

“You know I won’t. But keep going, I want to know more.”

Hyunjae’s cheeks turner pinker. “I don’t know what to tell you. It was just so easy to talk to him? Like we had been friends for years, I can’t explain.”

Hyunjae’s oldest best friend squeezed his knee sympathetically. “Jae, that’s really good you know?” Younghoon commented, while Chanhee nodded along next to him.

Because yes, a part of them would still mourn for a while the impact The Incident had in Hyunjae’s entire life. Things had been quite catastrophic, upsetting, and it had taken a tool on all of them. The outcome had not been the worst, but it definitely had not been anywhere near ideal either. But life had to move on, and above thinking about _what could have been_ , they just wanted their friend to be happy, after everything he had gone through.

So seeing him like this, with a besotted look on his face, felt like a very welcome change. Chanhee ought to thank the guy who had put that smile on his friend’s face.

“Yeah, we’re really happy for you.” he agreed with his boyfriend.

“Thanks guys.” He scratched his head embarrassed. “It’s just -” he breathed in “It’s been kind of a shit year ain’t it?”

Chanhee chuckled “You don’t have to sugar-coat it Jae.”

The other two snickered along. After all, Hyunjae had only been able to drop the crutches a few months ago. It was why strolls alone in the city were so important to his soul, after months upon months of not being able to leave the four walls of their apartment. Shit year wouldn’t begin to cover it. But it’s always best to face the tragedies of the past with one’s head held high and a smile on the face. At least that’s what Hyunjae believed.

“I don’t know, today I just felt really … relaxed? All we did was talk but he just made me feel so had ease? I don’t think I’ve felt that with anyone but you guys and my noona this year. Like, I almost mentioned… it.” He felt Chanhee tightening the grip on his hand, nodding along, “But I told him I wasn’t comfortable talking about it for now and he just shrugged?” He chuckled. “He said this way we would have something else to talk about another time, can you believe it?”

Chanhee hit him playfully. “Oh my god, look at that! You even scored a second date?”

Hyunjae grinned “I guess I did. And god, he’s just so handsome, I couldn’t stop looking at him.”

“You’re already this whipped after one day?” Younghoon nagged him. “Jesus. Please tell me you got his number then.” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Stop that, jesus Hoonie. And of course.” He blushed considerably.

“Look at you player!”

“Kim Younghoon I will murder you.”

“Says the person who was ready to tell me how they planned on climbing a stranger like a tree.”

“He’s got a point.” Chanhee, the traitor, added.

“I hate you both. Now if you don’t mind, I’m done ranting, I need a giant shower after today.” Hyunjae got up, ready to head to the tub.

“Wait, but are you at least meeting the guy again soon?” Younghoon asked behind him.

Hyunjae grinned dopily back at his best friends. “Yes, we’re going out for dinner on Friday.”

Chanhee smiled heart-warmingly. “That’s great. You know that we’re really happy for you, right?”

He nodded back. “I do, thank you guys. I think I really am too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter on a whim and reviwed it over only once, so please alert me if I made mistakes, I'm posting this super rushed because I'm just excited to share it.  
> You may have noticed I changed the title. This one just seemed more fitting to the whole story. 
> 
> I'd love some kudos and comments <3  
> Please let me know if some things are making you curious or confused in the story, I would love to see some theories! Stay safe!
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjae and Juyeon go on a date. That's it.  
> They're whipped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have literally written the last words of this chapter 5 min ago. Its almost 3am. I have not reviewed it. There might be even parts missing that I didn't notice I didn't write. But Im just so stupidly excited to share this with you guys than to hell with it. I'll review and edit this tomorrow. I hope you like it.  
> -/-  
> Update: I've edited the chapter. Still probably gonna review it 300x again, but I had so mnay typos at first... it should look better now. I also edited some lines of dialogue.

“Chanhee, I can’t do this.” Hyunjae whispered into the phone as soon as he heard the call being picked up on the other side.

 _“What? Why? Has something happened?”_ His roommate replied in a worried tone.

“No no, nothing has happened.”

_“Then why -”_

“I’m outside the restaurant and I can see him inside, and he GELLED HIS HAIR BACK Chanhee. I can’t do this, it’s too much. He’s way above my league.”

_“Hyunjae -”_

Chanhee stopped talking abruptly as fumbling echoed into Hyunjae’s ear. Shortly after, a new voice reverberated. _“Hyunjae-ah, say that again and I’ll cut you tongue next time. The other day you said you had never seen someone this good looking, and that this guy was very sweet. You’ve been anticipating this the whole week, so you better get inside and smile like you do when you’re really happy or I swear to god Chanhee and I will have sex on the couch tonight.”_

Hyunjae stared at his phone in disbelief. So much for sympathy from the one friend who had been with him since they were in diapers. “Yah, you’re gross Younghoon-ah, this is why I called Chanhee and not you.”

 _“Sucks that I live with him then.”_ He still changed his tone to one of more sympathy. _“But please Jae, just go and have fun. We know it’s a bit scary but I’m sure you will have a great time. Tell us later if you need a ride.”_

He smiled softly. Younghoon was too much sometimes, but in the end he had always been there for him. He was really grateful for him and Chanhee.

“You’re awful you know? I love you guys.”

_“Yea yea, we love you too. Now go and stop annoying us.”_

“Tsk -”

 _“Make sure you kiss!”_ He heard Chanhee from behind Younghoon.

These menaces! “Yah Chanhee!” He yelped into the phone, right before abruptly ending the call.

He sighed. He could do this.

After all, Juyeon and him had been texting nonstop since Monday, like a couple of teenagers, and the other seemed just as eager to be here today as him.

Hyunjae had even had Chanhee ransacking his closet and deciding what was best to wear to the situation, going for a simple white shirt paired with a military styled jacket, skinny black jeans, and his trustworthy winter boots. It wasn’t even like Hyunjae had a poor fashion sense. His friend simply had taken control over the situation before he had realized.

He had then proceeded to threaten Hyunjae with murder if he were to do anything to his naturally curly hair, saying “this guy won’t know what hit him when he sees how cute you look in your natural curls”, which had him blushing massively while overthinking about Juyeon’s reaction. Chanhee had just used some hairspray to set it and given his eyes and cheeks some light make up to go with it, claiming he didn’t need anything else to look good.

Hyunjae mumbled a tiny “you can do this” to himself before opening the door to the restaurant, and darting towards the table where his date for the night was already awaiting him.

They had chosen the place based on google reviews that considered it a cosy spot and ideal for couples, which had Hyunjae blushing maddening on his side of the phone when discussing it, whilst Juyeon talked about it like it was the weather. But as he took in the yellow hue of the lights and the AC warming the place enough to make him forget this was winter, he reckoned they had picked well.

Juyeon had been engrossed in his phone and only noticed him when he finally approached the table, giving a little jump at the figure that suddenly loomed on his side. His eyes widened like saucers as he took in Hyunjae, who couldn’t help but respond with a mischievous grin.

“Hyunjae-hyung, hi.” He breathed out, gaze darting furiously between Hyunjae’s hair and his slightly opened collar, that left a bit of his collarbones exposed. Hyunjae had to admit, it gave him the boost of confidence he needed, seeing the other so affected. _Thanks Chanhee._

“Hi Juyeon.” He sing-sang. “Can I sit?”

“What. Oh.” He seemed to leave out of some trance. “Yes of course, please sit, sorry. It’s just – urgh.” he put his hands to his face.

Hyunjae chuckled.

“Sorry, I got distracted. You just look really good. Like, really really good.” He motioned to Hyunjae’s curls. “What you did to your hair… it looks really good.”

“This is my natural hair.”

“Uh?”

“My hair.” He patted himself with his hand. “I didn’t do anything to it. It’s just curly like this.”

Hyunjae saw Juyeon’s pupils dilating as he processed the information. “You’re fucking with me.”

Smirking as he sat down, Hyunjae replied. “I really am I not.”

“That’s. Wow. That’s interesting. Yes, really interesting.”

“I’m glad you think so, thank you. You look really good too.”

And he did. If it weren’t for his own bashfulness against Juyeon’s clear appreciation of his looks, Hyunjae too would be stuck like glue to the floor, taking in the satin black shirt the other had opted for or the evident kohl lining his eyes. Finally sat down, he also noticed the small choker the other had opted for (someone set him on fire _please_ ), and how with his hair pushed back, Juyeon had a fainting scar near his hairline that went oddly well with the fierce red of his hair.

Juyeon motioned for the wine already on the table. “I went ahead and ordered something for us to drink, I hope it wasn’t too forward of me.”

“Of course not. I appreciate it. Have you been waiting for too long?”

“Not at all, I arrived just some minutes ago. But the waitress insisted on bringing something.” He huffed lightly.

Almost like clockwork, ust as he said it, a young woman approached the table, all beaming smiles at Juyeon as she casually mentioned “I see your company has arrived sir.” _Company?_

She then bowed slightly to Hyunjae, with a “Good evening and welcome to our restaurant.”, before turning back to Juyeon, straightening her posture as she did so. “Should I bring the menu over or do you already have something in mind? I can give some recommendations on the best of the house if you want.”

Oh. _So it’s like this._

“Oh, maybe that would be -”

“We would just like to see the menu, thank you.” Hyunjae interrupted his date abruptly.

Not some waitress shamelessly trying to flirt with his date in front of him. He would not have it. It might still be unexplainable to Hyunjae that Juyeon seemed to be as stunned by his existence just as much as he was by Juyeon’s, but he would not allow for someone to try to take it away from him. He had already waited long enough to find someone like him.

The waitress turned startled to him, but nonetheless gave him a costumer smile and nodded. “I’ll go get them then.”

As she turned around to get the menus, Hyunjae added in a slightly louder volume, and not without a coat of venom lacing his words, “I’m really excited for tonight’s date”, hoping that it would catch the retreating waitress’ ears. Based on how she halted for one full second before striding away again, Hyunjae would call it a success.

Only then did he notice the gigantic grin Juyeon was sending his way. Shit, he really had just done that in front of him.

He felt himself blushing furiously to the top of his head.

“What?” he tried to act nonchalant about it (and failed).

“Were you just jealous of the lady, Hyunjae-ssi?” he cocked his head. _Cute._

“What are you saying? Of course not. I would just like to see everything the restaurant has to offer, that’s all.” He dismissed.

Juyeon’s smirk didn’t falter one bit. If possible, it only got bigger. Gosh, those twerked up lips were a crime.

“Okay, if you insist. But it was cute.”

Hyunjae took a deep breathe while giving Juyeon a scandalized look. One entire dinner of this teasing? Maybe Hyunjae really should have just let the waitress romance Juyeon like she seemed to want (except no, no way) _._

“Fuck you.” He replied meekly.

“Oh, that’s in my horizon too, don’t worry.”

"Uh -" Hyunjae was pretty sure that if it hadn't been for the waitress coming back with their menus (even if this was all her fault), he would have just spluttered himself to death.

But at least it was very satisfying to see he hadn’t been the only one thinking about it. For Hyunjae, it wasn’t even only intimate fantasies. From his dance work outs, to morning brewed coffee, to showers, to dreams - the other was constantly in his mind. His brain seemed ready to imagine scenarios where Juyeon would fit perfectly next to him, in all parts of his life. It was borderline maddening.

At least the waitress no longer seemed interested in hitting on his date.

The rest of the dinner passed seamlessly. The food was as good as the reviews had promised, and Hyunjae and Juyeon found themselves able to converse as easily as they did through text messages or on that first coffee shop date.

“My parents are still in my hometown, and I’ve been living in Seoul since I went to college. I share an apartment with my best friends now.” Hyunjae answered Juyeon’s question of where he had been born. “I mean, I came here with Younghoon for college, our parents were friends so we’ve known each other since forever, and then on our first year he met Chanhee and they’ve been together ever since.”

“Oh, so they’re dating?”

Hyunjae sighed dramatically. “They are yes. I live third-wheeling them, but they say I’m not allowed to move out.” He chuckled. “Go figure. But I do have an older sister, and I love her a lot. We don’t get to meet often because she lives away from here, but sometimesI wish we could see each other more.” Hyunjae lowered his head shyly. “I want to tell her I met someone.”

“Oh. That’s -” Juyeon struggled to find the proper words. “That means a lot. That you want to tell her about this, us.”

Hyunjae smiled sweetly at him. “Of course I do. She's going to be the most excited about it, I know it. But what about you?”

“About me?” Juyeon scratched his head embarrassed. “I actually haven’t told many people about you? I mean I told my brother I sort of had a date today -”

Hyunjae snickered. For someone with so much game, Juyeon really could be silly sometimes. “That’s not what I meant. I was asking about your family. But I guess you have a brother?”

“Ah. Yes, yes, I have a brother. And also sister. She's older. He's younger. We live together. It’s a small apartment but we can fit.” He shrugged. “I guess it makes it easier when our parents come visit.”

“They live far?”

“A bit. But it’s okay, they come here when they can. And they know Siyeon, Eric and I have each others to rely on.”

Hyunjae frowned at the name. It was foreign, he was sure. “Eric?”

“Yes!” Juyeon’s eyes glinted with something beautiful in them as Hyunjae posed the question, clearly pleased the other had brought it up. “My brother was born in America. I kind of adopted him? Or better, we adopted each other. He’s two years younger than me.”

Now that seemed liked an interesting story. “You adopted each other? How so?”

Juyeon’s smile was beautiful. “So, when I was eight and my sister was ten, we went to Los Angeles with our parents for two weeks.”

Hyunjae nodded along.

“So we had been there for like, five days? And we went to this beach. I was in the water playing alone because my sister stayed in her towel to tan. And so there's this kid suddenly throwing me water and telling me something in English. I didn’t understand what he was saying sp I threw water back at him, and turns out he was just looking for someone to play with. We didn’t know how to speak to each other, but managed to get each other’s names -”

“Let me guess, his name was Eric.”

Juyeon smiled. “Exactly. And well, we spent the whole day playing, he even grabbed his lunch and came to eat it with my family. We didn’t understand this back then, but while we had been playing in the sand for hours, our parents saw how much fun I was having and asked Eric’s carers to let him stay with us until he had to leave. Turns out that was his orphanage’s designated day of the summer to take the kids his age to the beach.”

“You mean like, he only went to the beach one day of the year?”

Juyeon nodded.

“And it was on that day that your family went there?”

Juyeon nodded once again, beaming.

“That’s… some destiny playing right there.”

“I know. You can imagine how many times we’ve thought about that in our lives.”

“Of course. But how did you go from playing at the beach together to him becoming your brother?”

“Well, let’s say I wasn’t the only one that wanted to keep him." He chuckled. "But I was certainly the most vocal about it. When his carers came to fetch him, we threw quite the memorable fit. My parents talk about it to this day. Eric left kicking, saying he wanted to stay playing with me and Siyeon, and that he wanted to eat more of my mom’s cookies.”

“I can imagine.”

“In the end it’s thanks to our parents. They felt enamoured with Eric too, so they asked his carers for the name of the orphanage, and every day until we had to leave, they went to pick him up to spend the day with us. Siyeon and I could barely communicate with him but our parents translated for us and well, kids don’t need to speak the same language to have fun together. And I didn’t know back then, but my parents started planning his adoption that week, asking the orphanage for what would be needed to adopt a child of a different nationality and bring him to Korea.”

“Oh, wow. So Eric didn’t adopt just you, he adopted your whole family.”

“He sure did. Legend says that the fit he threw the day after we left, when he realized we weren’t going to pick him up, was more memorable than the one at the beach. He only settled down after we landed back in Korea and phoned the orphanage.” Juyeon took a breath before continuing. “And so, six months later, my parents were travelling to LA again to sign the final papers and bring him home. My parents kept his surname actually, Sohn, because they didn’t want him to grow not remembering his roots, but he does have a Korean name, Youngjae. Only our grandparents call him that mostly though, Siyeon and I grew too used to Eric, and my parents, it depends on the day and on their mood.” He finally finished.

Hyunjae stared for a few moments at the man in front of him, at loss for words. “That’s beautiful, I really don’t know what to say. It’s amazing that your parents went to all the effort to bring him here. They sound like amazing people.”

“They are. They do a lot for the three of us. Although I think they had already left that beach of the first day thinking of Eric as their son.”

What a beautiful story. They grinned together, while Juyeon brought his phone up and showed Hyunjae a photo of him next to a shorter, ash blond boy, with a cute nose.

“This is him. Our sister took the photo actually.” He stared softly at it. “He really is the most important person to me. I -” he paused briefly. “I’ve had some not easy last months to be honest, and well, he’s been my anchor. Siyeon too, but Eric and our friends – I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

“I’m happy that all of them were there for you then. Otherwise we might not have met. Is it something you want to talk about? No judgements.” Hyunjae offered.

“Well - Is it okay if we leave it for one of our next times? I’m really enjoying this today, I don’t want to make it dark.”

“I understand don’t worry. Next time.” He nodded vigorously.

Because Hyunjae really did understand. He too would eventually have to tell Juyeon about his past. About the crutches. About how Juyeon’s forehead scar was nothing compared to the marred skin of his right leg. About how some things would always be hard for him to explain. “So let’s change the subject, tell me about your friends.”

That brought Juyeon’s mood back up. He proceeded to tell Hyunjae about them all, from Eric’s same-age friends who were just as much his, to his bubbling co-worker Changmin who danced everyone in the studio under the table but still acted bashful about it (“Like you didn’t try to do the same last Sunday.” Hyunjae had quipped), and his practically married friends who had moved here from Canada years ago, and where Juyeon put the most trust in, after his siblings.

“So why did you say you didn’t tell them about today? Not that I mind, trust me. I’m just curious. I mean, I would never be able to hide it from Chanhee anyway.”

Juyeon huffed. “Because Kevin is very noisy and would ask me too much about you, I’d rather be mentally prepared. He's always asking me about these things. But maybe next time I go over for drinks.” He shrugged. “I know Eric will probably blow the chat up the minute I get home and tell him tonight went well, so there’s no saving. I didn’t even say I was going on a date, just having dinner with someone. But I know him. And he knows me.”

Hyunjae stared warmly. Juyeon really could be the softest sometimes. “They sound like fun people. I hope you introduce me to all of them sometime.”

He grinned. “Of course, they would have my head if I didn’t.”

**

Juyeon insisted on walking Hyunjae home.

At first, the oldest had claimed that there was no need, after Juyeon mentioned how he lived in the complete opposite direction from the restaurant, meaning he would take twice the time to get home after dropping Hyunjae off.

He was only defeated when Juyeon finally explained, without any preamble, that “all I want is the chance to spend thirty minutes more with you, hyung, so please let me take you home”, leaving him with no back up strong enough to confront that argument. After all, he too was dying to have an extra bit of time with the redhead.

In the middle of the silent, albeit not awkward, walk, Hyunjae felt his cheeks blush deeply when large fingers suddenly interlaced with his own.

“Please tell me if this is okay.” his date rushed out in one breath.

He looked sideways, seeing Juyeon just as red as him, and avoiding eye contact. At least they both were nervous about the situation. “Yea, it’s more than okay.”

“Good. That’s good.”

The door to Hyunjae’s apartment building had never felt so undesirable. He wanted to stay longer with Juyeon. He wanted to keep holding his hand and never let go.

“So, I guess this is you?” Juyeon finally broke the silence, motioning for the entrance.

“It is, yes. Will you be okay going home from here?”

“Of course.” Juyeon patted at the phone in his pocket. “I got GPS if I get lost. Although I think I’ve been around this area before. I should be able to get home without a problem.”

“Please don’t get lost. We’re having brunch on Tuesday.”

“I know I know, and I won’t, I promise.”

“Great.”

They stayed in silence once again, tension building around them strongly enough to be cuttable with a knife. Hyunjae felt torn, going back and forth between Juyeon’s trembling eyes, and his cat shaped lips, who looked just so glistening under the moonlight.

He shouldn’t be doing this, he should just wave him goodbye and go home.

Except.

Except that Juyeon was doing the same to him.

They weren’t sure who moved first.

One moment they were both trying to read the signs in the dilated pupils of each other’s eyes, the other they were sealing their lips together, Juyeon enveloping Hyunjae’s waist while the other put his arms around his neck, pressing their bodies tightly together.

They started with simple pecks, massaging each other’s lips calmly, learning what pleased the other, but it soon got heated up. Juyeon bit Hyunjae’s lower lip teasingly, which had him opening his mouth, entangling their tongues in a dance of their own.

Hyunjae had never felt something like this before. It was too much and not enough at the same time. It was like kissing the other was what he should have been doing the whole time. What his body had been programmed to do. Juyeon was going to drive him mad.

They kissed for what felt like hours but was probably just minutes, illuminated only by moonlight and the lamp post next to Hyunjae’s door, until Juyeon, definitely the strongest of them both, finally pulled apart. “We need to stop now. Or I won’t be able to let you go.”

“Then don’t.” Hyunjae teased.

The other whined, pressing their foreheads together “Lee Jaehyun, you’ll drive me mad, I swear.”

“Don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.”

They both giggled, still pressed together, bashing in the glow of the sweet moment.

When they finally manage to part ways, Juyeon leaving him with one last peck before darting off home, Hyunjae felt on Cloud 9. He could not say yet where this was going, but the other definitely seemed to be just as interested as him. They were both on the same page, and he couldn’t wait to spend more time with the man. Hell, we would probably not sleep well until Tuesday, with all the enthusiasm he was already feeling at the prospect of seeing Juyeon again, even if the man had barely just left his line of sight.

Hyunjae was so whipped.

**

Hyunjae entered apartment, happiness present in all of his features, to find Chanhee curled up on the sofa watching TV.

“Hi Chanhee-ya.”

“Hey, how did it go? You seem happy.”

“I am. I really am. Were you guys waiting for me?”

“Uhm, kind of? Sort of, but not really? You said you didn’t need a ride so Younghoon’s in the shower,” He motioned for the TV “and I’m watching Glee.”

“Of course you are.” Hyunjae smiled dumbly. Chanhee’s deep connection with the American show was a subject worth studying.

“But c’mon,” Chanhee patted the sofa next to him. “Tell me how it went.”

Hyunjae went to sit next to his friend and inhaled, figuring it was better to start by the most exciting bit of the night. “We just kissed.”

Chanhee’s eyes went impossibly wide. “You did?? Jesus, I was kidding when I said you should kiss him but you - look at you! When??”

“Like, right now?" He patted his head embarrassed. "He walked me home. And then kissed me outside. Just now.”

“OH MY GOD HYUNJAE, WHAT? RIGHT OUTSIDE? I – YOU -” he deflated. “I don’t know what to say, that’s amazing, I'm so glad.” He lunged forward and hugged Hyunjae fiercely, and then put him at arms length, piercing him with a serious look. “Are you happy?”

“I am Chanhee." He assured him. "I can’t explain it. Is it weird, already imagining myself spending a lifetime with someone I’ve just met?”

“Not at all. You know that’s how I felt when I met Younghoon.”

Hyunjae sniggered at the memory. “Even if all he was doing was cleaning the dog shit he had stepped on in the science lab sink?”

Chanhee snorted. “Yes, even so. But I’m very very happy for you, you’re smiling a lot more these days.”

Hyunjae lowered his head embarrassed. “Yes, I think I am. It’s just something about him? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m going to bed.”

The other huffed. “Too much for one night?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“You said you walked home? How’s the leg?”

Chanhee’s worry was very heart-warming sometimes. “Hasn’t hurt like that in weeks, you know this. I’m just tired, that’s all.” Hyunjae proceeded to yawn, which just further proved his point.

“Then you should indeed go to sleep. The episode’s finishing too, I’ll go right after you. Younghoon is going to demand all details are of you tomorrow, you know that right?”

“Of curse I do. I'll tell you guys all of it. But yes, you should go to bed. Please don’t let Hoon get sleepy grumpy, none of us would get a night’s sleep." He stretched himself. "Anyways, see you tomorrow Hee.”

“See you tomorrow Jae. Sweet dreams.”

And Hyunjae left for his bedroom, smiling at the thought of a night filled with more dreams of a beautiful red-haired man.

Chanhee stared at his friend’s retreating figure and smiled softly. The lightness in Hyunjae’s steps was something he hadn’t seen in so long, it felt foreign in his eyes.

The others should know about this, they would be happy.

_Or maybe not?_

No, they would be, yes.

In the end, they all just wanted Hyunjae to be able to move on without any more scars. Not physical, not psychological.

He opened the group chat and typed out his message quickly, before shutting his phone off and going to bed. Younghoon should already be waiting for him there.

**_Chanhee_ **

_Guys, I just think you should know_

_Hyunjae has found someone_

_He seems really happy about him_

_So I hope you guys can be too_

**_Kevin_ **

_Well, I wasn’t expecting that_

_But you know we just want him to be happy too_

_This guy, whoever he is, has big shoes to fit_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far... you might have questions about the plot.  
> well i LOVE THOSE, i'd love to read some of your theories in the comments ihihih
> 
> Like i said above, this is very not-reviewed, but after taking one entire week to decide how I would organize this chapter, I dished out the 3k words today on a whim because I was just so damn excited to share this with the readers. I really really want you guys to like this today. I hope you do. I hope the kiss didnt feel rushed, im incredibly awkward t writing them but im trying to get better at it.
> 
> Sweet dreams <3, please leave kudos and comments ^^
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juyeon invites Hyunjae to stay the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF GRAVE INJURIES (they are key points of the story, and it would feel wrong as writer to have them sugarcoated - nonetheless, be aware of them).
> 
> i am once again posting things heavily unedited at 3am. this chapter is twice the size of all previous ones, and more than half of the words were spilled today on a whim. I'm absolutely exhausted from it, but I promised myself it would be out today. this chapter involved a lot of plot points and it was really hard to write, so i hope you enjoy it. i promise to edit this better tomorrow morning
> 
> merry christmas if you celebrate it <3

Younghoon was as prying as Chanhee had predicted the next morning. Hyunjae had barely crossed the threshold of his bedroom, and Younghoon was already assaulting him with “Hee told me you kissed last night”, almost making him lose his footing.

Thankfully, Chanhee had declared himself in charge of breakfast, so he made them all scrambled eggs as Hyunjae told the couple briefly how he had had a nice dinner and been walked home.

“Wait, but what even is this guy’s name? I’m tired of naming him guy you’re seeing.” Younghoon interrupted while Hyunjae was in the middle of emphasizing how kissing someone had never felt so right.

Hyunjae snorted. “Don’t think I’m not onto you. I’m not telling you.” He shrugged. “The minute I turn my back you will be trying to find his social media to get dirt on him.”

The affronted look his friends gave him had Hyunjae lamenting not having his phone on him. While Younghoon’s face was nothing but plain disbelief that someone would ever consider him capable of something like that, Chanhee was trying to mask his ‘busted’ face behind exaggeratedly widened eyes. As if Hyunjae didn’t know both like the palm of his hand.

Younghoon would indeed never consider doing something like that by himself, he was too pure, but he had a knack for the SNS and how to work them best, whilst Chanhee was a very powerful catalyser. And someone Younghoon was incapable of saying no to. Put together, Hyunjae was sure they would manage to find some buried twelve-year-old photo of Juyeon that even the man himself would have thought long gone.

“Well, how do you expect me to make a good assessment of him and give you my approval if I’m not allowed to see his Instagram feed??” Chanhee flapped indignantly ,mask dropped.

Hyunjae pierced him with a strong look. “Chanhee, please. When was the last time I was in a relationship? Freaking high school, right? Hell, I don’t even remember when the last time I had sex was.” he sighed. “So please. This is already too much at once. None of that unless we become -” he felt himself blush to the tips of his hair “official, I guess.” he finished, lowering his head embarrassed.

It was Younghoon’s time to snort. “Unless? Please, this guy walked you home because he wanted to spend more time with you. You already kissed.”

“And you’re constantly texting each other when it’s only been what, one week?” Chanhee added.

Younghoon nodded. “Exactly. It’s only a matter of time.”

Hyunjae only nodded bashfully, too busy overthinking the idea that a relationship with Juyeon could be something in a very near horizon.

“But hey.” Chanhee split the eggs between three plates and placed one in front of each of them. “I understand. That you want to save this for yourself for a little longer, that is.” He squeezed Hyunjae’s shoulder supportively. “I know Hoon and I are too much sometimes,” he grinned, “but you only have to tells us what you feel comfortable with.”

Younghoon nodded along, speaking between munching on his eggs. “Yes, we know this is all new to you. And from how you speak about him, he seems like a good guy so we’ll just wait for you to introduce him to us.”

Hyunjae smiled at them. “Thanks guys. He is, you can trust me on that. I just don’t want to feel like everything is too much?” he completed with a sigh, “Hell, I’m still trying to understand tiktok.”

The coupled chuckled, Hyunjae following suit.

“You’re just a hardhead, I’ve told you how it works a million times.”

“Sorry Hee, you’re just a bad teacher.” Younghoon quipped, getting a hard smack from his boyfriend while Hyunjae snickered on his side. “But when’s the next time you’re seeing him, Jae?”

Now this, Hyunjae was more than excited to talk about. Especially since it seemed like having Chanhee handling his ensemble did wonders. “Next Tuesday.” He beamed. “We’re having brunch together.”

**

And having brunch they did. And the next day, they spent the late afternoon lazing in a park. By Friday, they were having dinner once again.

Before they knew it, it had already been three weeks since meeting each other in the middle of that fatidic dance performance, and Hyunjae had not felt this happy in a long long while.

They held hands, they shared kisses - that with each encounter became less and less public appropriate, they called each other pet names. They still had yet to label anything, but he was sure they had an unspoken agreement about it, both simply too afraid of verbalizing that next step.

Hyunjae even looked different at work. Both the head of his department, Sangyeon, and Haknyeon, the co-worker from IT he had grown a habit of having lunch with, had commented on it when the three happened to cross paths in the lounge room.

“You never eat lunch with me these days Jaehyun-ssi.” Haknyeon commented while pouring himself some coffee.

Hyunjae bowed regretfully. “I should apologize for that, I’ve neglected to explain but I have been going out for lunch with someone.”

“Oh, you mean another co-worker? I feel betrayed.” the other teased, clearly knowing that would not been the answer.

“Or is it perhaps… a date?” Sangyeon added with a grin, joining the conversation.

Hyunjae could only reply embarrassed for getting caught so easily by the two. “Yes, it is. Our lunch hours usually match so we have been meeting up in that park a few minutes away.” He smiled involuntarily.

“That’s very nice to hear Jaehyun-ssi.” Sangyeon said.

However, Hyunjae frowned as he noticed the information he had let escape through his lips, and which he had not meant to. But with the cat out of the bag, it was better to clear it with the both of them, especially his manager. “I shall hope no harm comes from the fact that I’m seeing a man. I mean,” he waved towards Haknyeon, “you’ve mentioned living with a male partner once or twice during our lunches, so I will trust that you won’t show any prejudice. But Sangyeon-ssi, I hope I find the same respect from you. And I would still prefer to keep this under the weather around the workplace.”

Sangyeon eyed him with a very serious demeanour. “Jaehyun-ssi, of course you won’t find any judgement from me. In fact, please know that this workplace has always been a safe environment, and it shall remain under those terms. You all are to report me if that stops being the case. Nonetheless, I respect your need to keep things private.”

“Thank you, Sangyeon-ssi, I appreciate it.” he bowed to his manager, feeling truly welcomed by his words.

They really were good people, he thought to himself. Despite not verbalizing it, Hyunjae was really grateful that both had taken him under his wing after his recovery. The majority of his co-workers were aware of what had happened during The Incident, and had respected his privacy, but yet, only the two of them had gone out of their way to make him feel welcomed back, to help him when he had still been bound by crutches, and to strike up a conversation with him.

“Nonetheless,” he turned back to Haknyeon, “you can count on me for today’s lunch.” he assured.

Haknyeon perked up. “I’m glad that’s the case, I’ll be ready with my lunchbox at 1pm.”

And later that day, Hyunjae did not forget to let Juyeon know about it over the phone.

“Today my co-workers asked me if I’ve met someone because I never have lunch with them anymore.” He whined through the call.

Juyeon’s laughter from the other side overfilled him with joy. _“Well, I won’t be sorry about it hyung.”_ he replied, shrug evident even in his voice.

Hyunjae could only huff happily at his reaction. Juyeon really could be the cutest when the subject was their developing relationship. He found himself imagining the other, phone in hand, laying on his bed, much like himself, and couldn’t help but reflect on them.

The other had no idea how their nightly phone calls, his presence, were slowly becoming essential to him.

**

“So you’re really not going to say anything?”

“Nope.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“Hyung, please, even noona already noticed, and she barely spends time here. You’re not being subtle about anything.”

“Yeah, and I’m still not telling you anything Eric.”

Eric deflated. Juyeon could be such a pain sometimes.

“Well, have you at least told any of the guys? Jacob? Or Kev?”

“I haven’t, but even if I had, I would’ve told them not to tell you.” Juyeon shrugged.

“HYUNG!” Eric whined. “Why are you like this? You know I will be happy for you. Just tell me if you’ve met someone. I’d be more comfortable knowing you’re out on dates than, I don’t know, doing crimes.”

Juyeon howled with laughter. “What the hell, Eric. Yes, if you don’t keep both eyes open, I might just take your wallet in the middle of the night.”

Eric wiggled his eyebrows. “Is this you confirming you’ve been going out with someone then? C’mon, I know there is.”

“No. Yes. I -” Juyeon sighed, accepting defeat. “Okay. Yes. I’ve met someone. There. Happy?”

If the glint in his eye was anything to go by, then _yes_ , his brother was overjoyed with the information. “Very much yes.” He leaned closer, with a shit eating grin. “Tell me about them. Guy or girl?”

“Guy. But that’s all I’m gonna tell you. Don’t think I don’t know you.”

Eric fake gasped. “I am very offended that you think of me in such ways.”

“No, you’re very offended I’m not telling you everything there is to know about him. I’ll introduce him to you and Siyeon-noona sometime, okay? It’s just -”

“What?”

“I’m thinking of asking him to – you know.” He caressed his nape bashfully.

The smirk on Eric face was nothing but full of shit. “Be boyfriends?”

“Yes. Stop giving me that look.” He hit his brother’s arm playfully. “I just don’t want to jinx it. But I’ll introduce you two if he says yes.”

“I’ll held you onto that promise, I hope you know that.”

“Of course.”

“When are you thinking of popping the question?”

At that, Juyeon shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I guess when the moment feels right.”

“Okay. Don’t you dare forget to tell me when you do.” Eric threatened, pointing him an accusatory finger.

“I’ve told you I won’t.”

But his brother halted his moves, seemingly remembering something. “Wait, have you told him?”

Juyeon paused, lips downturning. He knew exactly what he was talking about. He lowered his head. “No. Not yet.”

“Juyeon,” Eric exhaled, “you have to. He should know.”

“I know. I really should. I mean, I have to at some point." He sighed. “But I’m afraid I’ll lose him.”

“Hey, hey.” Eric grabbed one of his hands, squeezing tightly. “If you lose him because of this, then he never deserved you in the first place. He can’t be with the person you are in the present if he doesn’t respect your past. But also, the way you look when you speak about him – I trust your judgment in the people you let in, I always have, so I’m sure he will understand. Just talk to him.”

“I know . And you're right. I -" he squeezed his brother's hand tighter, "After I ask him the question. I promise I will. No point in talking about it if he doesn’t want a relationship with me.”

Eric grinned. “So you think there’s an actual chance he will say no?”

“Maybe? Not really? I don’t know. This is all too new to me.”

“I get it. I doubt anyone would dare say no though. But also, you should tell the others about him. Or at least Kev and Cob. They will be happy for you. And will probably have better stuff to say than me.”

“That's valid, but I will be drilled with so many questions from Kevin, even Jacob won’t be able to stop him.”

Eric snorted. “You will. But they have been together for like three millennia so they will give you the best advice. You know this.”

Juyeon caressed his nape. “I do. I’m going there for a drink next Friday after work. Maybe I’ll tell them about him.”

“Great. That’s great. Tell me how it goes. Or just film Kevin’s face, it’s easier.” He huffed. “And anyways, speaking of Friday, I won’t be here Friday night. We’re all going out and then I’ll probably stay over at Sunwoo and Hak’s so I don’t have to drive back.”

Juyeon shrugged. They were adults in their twenties, his brother didn’t exactly need his approval on anything. “Sure. Who’s going?”

“The usual gang. Sunwoo and Hak like I said, Hyunjun of course, and Changmin-hyung said we could count on him too. Oh, and I invited Felix and Hyunjin from work, they said they would try to show up too. I would invite you too but,” he wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Siyeon noona will be working. You’ll have the house for yourself. If you know what I mean.”

Juyeon crooked an eyebrow, cogs turning in his mind.

“You’ve never brought him over hyung. Just use the opportunity. I promised I’ll only be here the next day.”

Oh. That’s what Eric meant.

Juyeon thought it over. Maybe his brother’s idea wasn’t the worse. In fact, it was a very good one. Because Hyunjae and him had been to all possible restaurants, coffee shops, parks in their area. But by sharing the house with two other people each, they had both felt the same inner turmoil of bringing the other over and having their respective roommates, or siblings in Juyeon’s case, drilling them with questions, piercing stares, shovel talks, baby pictures. The two wanted to stay in their little bubble for a little longer.

Maybe Eric’s idea was a brilliant one.

**_Gorgeous_ **

_I will have the house for myself next Friday night_

_I was thinking you could come over?_

_I did promise I would cook for you eventually_

**_Prince <3_ **

_Some of your infamous cooking?_

_I’ll be there, send me the address_

_What time?_

**_Gorgeous_ **

_Actually, I’m going to visit some friends in the afternoon_

_So I was thinking I could pick you up_

_And we could come together?_

_If you don’t mind a bit of walking_

**_Prince <3_ **

_Sounds like a plan_

_We can figure the hours later than_

_Should I bring something?_

**_Gorgeous_ **

_Great!_

_No need, just you is enough_

Or maybe. Was it too bold if he asked for it?

Juyeon summoned the last bit of courage he had in himself and typed out another message.

**_Gorgeous_ **

_You can bring a change of clothes_

_If you want of course_

_Totally no ill intentions_

_Just leaving the idea out there_

The three dots that meant Hyunjae was typing something appeared immediately, but no response came. Juyeon stared anxiously at his phone, ready to bite the entirety of his nails at the prospect that he had crossed a line he shouldn’t have. He prepared himself for Hyunjae telling him something along the lines of “we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”, panic evident in his features.

Until a reply came.

**_Prince <3_ **

_Okay I will_

**

Just like promised, on Friday evening Juyeon picked Hyunjae up from his apartment, immediately eyeing the backpack he had around his shoulders with a drilling stare. Hyunjae couldn’t fault him. He too knew the implications of it. Juyeon had not so subtly asked him to stay over the night at his very empty apartment, and the first time Hyunjae had read the message, he was sure some of his organs experienced failure for a few seconds. He had barely been able to type out a response with his shaky fingers.

It wasn’t even only about excitement over what this meant. Yes, it might had been partially because of the mere thought of sleeping with Juyeon, after weeks of nothing in his mind but the redhead every time he stayed in the shower for a bit longer than necessary.

But having sex with him also meant Hyunjae would have to show him his leg, the scars covering it. And while he knew Juyeon would not be one of those people who would find it absolutely hideous to be with someone with a body permanently marked by injuries, the thought still lingered. _They weren’t pretty._

There were more than enough reasons why Hyunjae avoided talking about The Incident. He did not like to recall waking up in that hospital bed feeling nothing but pain from head to toe, and the horrified gasp he had given when he saw his leg covered in metal pieces, let alone everything else. Most times he refrained from speaking about it, but maybe explaining his leg to Juyeon tonight would be a start.

And yet, he was nervous.

_**_

Juyeon motioned Hyunjae inside his apartment. “Welcome to my home.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.” the other replied with a smirk, removing his shoes and coat the way he just had.

They trudged to the living room, Juyeon setting his things down until he noticed Hyunjae face frowning slightly. “Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh, no, no, nothing. Just looking around.” Hyunjae dismissed. “It’s a nice home.”

“Thank you. You can leave your stuff on the couch. I’ll show you where everything is, and then we can have dinner? I only need to heat it up.”

“Sure, lead the way.” Hyunjae motioned, still spotting a dumbfounded look Juyeon couldn’t place.

Juyeon was heating up their dinner while Hyunjae changed into something comfortable, nervously hoping the other would like his cooking. With his Friday afternoon always free of classes, he had spent the better part of it cooking for Hyunjae, before leaving for Kev and Jacob’s place.

He was actually happy to have gone there. Much like Eric, they were insistent on knowing why Juyeon’s smile was bigger these days, and he had ended up spilling everything, from photos of Hyunjae, to how they had met. His friends had been more than keen on knowing all about him too, as expected from Kevin’s curiosity and Jacob’s overprotectiveness, demanding to know even how far in the relationship they had gone. Juyeon had furiously blushed at that and explained how they had only kissed yet.

But Juyeon had also taken the chance to seek advice from them, which was something he hadn’t known how much he needed until he had asked for it.

“You should only tell this Hyunjae person about it once you feel comfortable.” Kevin had assured him, relieving much of the weight off his shoulders. “But also, be careful not to leave him in the dark for long.”

Juyeon was so engrossed in the thought of his friends approving of Hyunjae, that he didn’t notice the man himself entering the kitchen until he heard him clearing his throat.

He turned to him, smiling. “Hey, dinner is almost -” he paused, his brain midky short-circuiting.

Clad in simple sweatpants, fuzzy socks, and an oversized wool sweater that completely engulfed him, Hyunjae looked like an absolute crime against his heart, but also everything his vision had ever needed. Nothing had ever looked as right as Hyunjae in his comfiest clothes against the scenario of Juyeon’s kitchen.

And the older had the audacity to smirk when Juyeon gave him a blatant once-over. He knew the effect he was having on him. “You were saying?”

“You know I’ve said it before, but I will say it again. You’re going to kill me Lee Jaehyun.”

The man in question stepped forward, crowding him against his counter. “I’m glad the feeling is mutual then.” He replied, sharing a breath with Juyeon before pressing his lips against his.

They kissed lazily for a few minutes, Juyeon burying his fingers in Hyunjae’s curls, pressing their bodies close. “The food’s gonna burn.” He eventually managed to say between pecks.

Hyunjae whined, burying his head in Juyeon’s shoulder and inhaling his scent. “The food better be good now, for interrupting this.”

Later, Juyeon could only laugh as Hyunjae took one small first bite out of his bowl before widening his eyes and proceeding to inhale his food like he hadn’t had anything to eat in years.

“Shit Juyeon.” He mumbled between bites. “This is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this.”

“So it was worth interrupting our kiss too?”

“This is worth interrupting anything, I’m never eating anything but your cooking again in my life.”

“Then I’ll cook for you the rest of my life.” Juyeon replied against Hyunjae’s hair, kissing it softly.

They were half sat half lying on Juyeon’s couch, legs entangled together, Hyunjae’s back pressed against his chest, each handling their own bowl. Juyeon wasn’t having the easiest time doing it with a man of his height pressed against his front, but that just so seemed awfully trivial when the solution to it would be losing the warmth of Hyunjae’s body. Absolutely out of the question.

“I told my friends about you today.”

“You did? Which ones?”

“Jacob and Kevin. My Canadian friends.”

“Nice. And what did they say?”

Juyeon shrugged. “Nothing much. They both seemed a bit shocked at first, but maybe that’s because I haven’t been with someone for so long.”

Hyunjae huffed. “Should I be prepared for a shovel talk?”

Juyeon could only chuckle from behind him. Hyunjae was adorable sometimes. “I don’t think so. They used to tell me I needed someone all the time in high school. I doubt they will try to scare you away.”

“You’ve know each other since you were sixteen, right?”

“Me and Kevin, yes. Jacob was seventeen. They were part of the exchange student program in my school.”

“So they came to Korea together?”

“Nope, not at all. They’re from different parts of Canada. They met only here, and started dating during junior year.”

“That’s nice.”

“Nice but suffering to watch. They used to pin so hard for each other.”

“Well, but they’re still together so it was worth it, right? And why did they never leave? Korea I mean.”

“They didn’t want to. Said this is where they had met each other, and also me and our other friends, so this was home. And they’re not wrong. Kev and I kind of followed Jacob hyung when we applied for college. Well, Kevin did for sure. And I guess I did too in the end. It also had the best dance program, that helped.”

“It’s a pity we never crossed paths there.” Hyunjae lamented. “Can’t believe we studied in the same place for four years but only found each other now. I would not have let you go if I had ever seen you around campus.”

Juyeon interlocked their fingers. “I know, me too. But you were in business and I performing arts. It was too improbably. And I -," he gulped, "I’d rather not speak about college hyung, if that’s okay. Sorry, it’s just something -”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Hyunjae interrupted with some amusement. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Uh?”

“College. I don’t like to talk about it too much either. I got my degree and my friend Chanhee out of it, and that’s what matters. The rest – maybe later I’ll talk about it. Just not now.”

“Then I’m glad we’re on the same page.” Juyeon finished, kissing Hyunjae on his nape.

It was relieving to see Hyunjae not forcing more information out of Juyeon, and actually asking for his own privacy on the matter. There was an ugly bittersweet feeling inside him, absolutely uncalled for, in knowing that Hyunjae had the ability to _choose_ not to speak about college, to shield himself from the topic because something in it made him uncomfortable. The chance for that had been taken out of Juyeon. But the man in his arms was starting to become rather important to him, so the fondness in knowing he was becoming a safe space for Hyunjae, someone he relied on to the point of saying he would later explain things, surpassed everything else.

Juyeon was falling, _hard_.

**

“Hyung.” Juyeon whispered against Hyunjae's ear a few hours later, the two now even more wrapped up in each other after having returned the dishes to the kitchen, and fully cuddle on the couch. They had put on some random Netflix romantic comedy Hyunjae had been tearing apart due to _'terrible written dialogue'_ for the past hour.

“Yea?”

“How many relationships have you had?””

Hyunjae halted and turned his head around, confused. “Where did this come from?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Just thinking about it.”

“Wow, okay.” Hyunjae sat up, making Juyeon immediately regret his question, if the consequence was losing Hyunjae’s warmth from his side. “Well, I guess one? Or none?”

That was not possible. Hyunjae was well-spoken, had a secure job he enjoyed, had the same height as Juyeon - which he was more than many men wished for, and even more swooned for - and had the kind of looks plastic surgeons would use as wall posters to bribe clients in. He made heads turn everywhere they went. He was also very much not a virgin, that topic having already been approached once during a phone call, in which Juyeon had remained beet-red the entire time.

“I don’t believe you.” He declared.

Hyunjae simply laughed at his bafflement. “I’m serious. There was like, this boy in my high school? His name was Mingyu, and I guess we dated for a while? I don’t know if you could call it dating. We were each other’s first times, and continued to have casual sex until we graduated, but then we went to different colleges, and kind of stopped talking. I haven’t heard from him ever since. But if you can call that a relationship, then I guess that was my first and last one.” He explaining, ending with a shrug.

“Wow, that’s really not what I expected. So nothing? For the past ten years?”

Hyunjae nodded no.

“Not even college? Or someone from work?”

“What is it with this?” Hyunjae asked amused.

“I’m just surprised you wouldn’t have someone for so long. Hyung you’re the man everyone dreams of, I hope you know this.”

Hyunjae hit him playfully. “Stop that now please, you’re embarrassing me.”

“Well but I mean it. I’ve seen the way people stare at you on the street.”

“I’m sorry to tell you but they’re actually staring at you Juyeon.”

Juyeon shook his head. “I doubt it. You’re gorgeous Hyunjae-hyung. Everyone can see that.”

Juyeon knew he had stepped on something delicate the moment he saw Hyunjae freezing in front of him, a bout of insecurity passing across his eyes. “You say that now.” He heard mumbled.

“What?”

Hyunjae shrugged. “You say that now. But I’m not -” he gestured vaguely. “I’m not all of that. I’m that not pretty.”

“What are you saying, of course you are, I’ve literally never seen someone as gorgeous as you.”

“That because you haven’t seen all of my body. Trust me.”

“You’re gonna have to help me a little out here. What does that mean?”

“Means you won’t – urgh.” He sighed defeated, struggling to find words.

Hyunjae was getting overwhelmed, Juyeon could tell, tears starting to pool at his eyes. “Hyunjae, just talk to me, did I say too much? Please just tell me.”

“No. Just. Give me a moment okay?” he asked, blinking away the redness in his eyes. Juyeon saw him taking a very deep breath, and then Hyunjae was turning back to him determined. “My right leg looks all sorts of fucked up, and I’m scared shitless of what you will think when you see it. Fuck.” He turned his head again, this time not able to avoid a small tear from escape. “I know you’re more than that and that whatever it is that we’re doing is not only about our looks, but you say I’m beautiful all the time and I can’t help -” he gulped, “I can’t help but think that once you see all the scars, all the bumps in my skin, you'll change your mind. That you will feel embarrassed to be with me.”

“Hey, hey.” Juyeon placed his hand on Hyunjae’s cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. “Hyunjae. Lee Jaehyun. You are very naïve if you think something like that would draw me away from you. Much less right now. I want this, I want you. And I mean all of you. Perfections and imperfections. Look.”

Juyeon used his other hand to lift up his fringe, showing Hyunjae the scar the other knew already to be there, from that first dinner together so many weeks ago. “If this is about scars, I have my own too. This thing here doesn’t look pretty and had me frowning at the mirror all the time in the beginning. I dyed my hair to match it so I could feel a little better about it. And I broke my wrist too. It doesn’t have any external scars, but it did have a shitty recovery and it still hurts sometimes when I dance. I could never judge a body marked with scars. Because they don’t mean we’re ugly, Hyunjae. _They mean we survived_.”

Hyunjae smiled tiredly from behind Juyeon’s hand, nuzzling against it. “Thank you. I really needed to hear that.”

“I figured.” Juyeon replied softly.

“You really have no idea. But I was serious. It _really_ doesn’t look pretty.”

“And I will be the judge of that.” He tilted his head pensively. “Can I ask what happened? Only if you want to tell me.”

“Of course. I want to tell you about it." He took a breath before starting. "I was in an accident like, a year ago. I would prefer not talk everything, but what you need to know is that it was bad. Leg broken in two different bones, one of them an exposed fracture. I was in the hospital for almost five months, because my bone had to grow again. I’ve been home for almost eight months now, but only dropped the crutches like, last August. Only got back to work in July. According to my doctors, the reason I’m already walking without any aid and without feeling pain is because I was awfully diligent about physiotherapy and got back to dancing as soon as they cleared me to do so. But I have fifteen different scars around all of my shin, and a terrible bump where the bone cut through the skin.”

“You’re so brave.”

“Uh, what -”

“You just are." Juyeon repeated with a pride in his eyes, "To have gone through that and still be praised by doctors? The fact that you don’t have any symptoms after only one year? That’s just – you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

He didn’t have time to react, as Hyunjae lunged forward, pressing a deep kiss against his lips. “Thank you. That means so much. Thank you. _Thank you._ "

“I promise to be here every time you need to be reminded of how amazing you are.” Juyeon exhaled between kisses. “But if it’s not too forward of me to ask, can I see it?”

Hyunjae drew away upon Juyeon’s question. “You mean the scars?”

“Yes.” He replied with a glint of curiosity.

Hyunjae felt his cheeks tint pink, both from nervousness and bashfulness. Nonetheless, he wanted to do it. He _needed_ to do it. “Yes, of course.”

And well, Hyunjae’s sweatpants tightened around his ankles, so it would be pointless to try to pull the leg up. Instead, he stripped out of his socks and got up, taking a small breath before pulling his pants down, staying in nothing but his wool sweater and tight-fitting blue boxers in Juyeon’s living room.

From the look the redhead was giving him, this had not been what he had expected Hyunjae to do. He watched as his pupils dilated instantly, hawk eyes zeroing on his tights.

“Hyunjae…”

Juyeon slid down from the couch directly onto the floor, kneeling in front of Hyunjae, a look of utter wonder in his face.

“Can I touch you? Can I touch it?” he pleaded.

Hyunjae could do nothing but nod dumbly, the sight of the other on his knees in front of him too much to bear.

Juyeon went slowly to one of his scars, fingers trailing across it and making Hyunjae shiver. He touched around another two or three, before noticing the more prominent oddly shaped skin, where bone had cut through ruthlessly.

Nothing would prepare Hyunjae for Juyeon slowly leaning down and pressing a kiss against the deformation. “You are so, _so_ beautiful, Lee Jaehyun. You drive me mad every day.” He murmured against the skin, before moving and pressing kisses to all of the little marks marring his leg.

 _Oh god._ Hyunjae’s entire self was going to combust. He didn’t know whether to cry or smile in joy at the situation. How dare this man come into his life, tell him the sweetest things every day, and even say that Hyunjae’s leg, which he had been concerned about for so long now, looked beautiful in his eyes.

Hyunjae had never wanted something so much in his life and he wanted Juyeon right here, right now.

“Juyeon.” The other heard him murmur, with a sultry voice he had never heard from him. “Take me to bed.”

He needn’t say anything else.

Juyeon got up, eyeing him with nothing but unabashed desire, and grabbed him by his waist, lifting him up and walking them to his bedroom, closing the door behind him with his foot.

**

Juyeon woke up to the soft tickles of Hyunjae’s curls against his nose, his soft snores echoing around the bedroom. If this was what heaven felt like, then Juyeon would gladly commit to a life without sin.His past night self would probably disagree with the thought however, if the bite marks and scratches along Hyunjae’s back were anything to go by. Still, he had only given as good as he had taken.

Hyunjae looked so peaceful when sleeping. Like all the worries Juyeon knew he was still shielding him from disappeared, and all that was left were sweet dreams and thoughts of happiness.

But Juyeon still had plans for today, and those meant waking up the sleepy head in his arms.

He pressed his finger against the tip of Hyunjae’s nose, repeating it over and over again until the other’s face finally scrunched up, annoyed at the touch.

“… uhm.”

Jueyon pressed a kiss to his hair, chuckling. “Morning hyung.”

“Uhm, morning.” He grumbled, burying himself more in Juyeon’s nape.

“Hey, Hyunjae.” Juyeon whispered against his curls.

“What. Let’s go back to sleep.”

And really, Juyeon had only meant to ask if the other would like to spend Saturday with him. But suddenly, here in his bed, surrounded by the warm hue of the sunlight streaming through the window, Hyunjae’s soft breaths against the naked skin of his collar, bodies pressed together, it just felt right to do it.

“Be my boyfriend.” He whispered.

Juyeon was sure any sleep Hyunjae still had in his body had vanished, with the way he suddenly sat upright, staring down at him with the most piercing stare he had ever been targeted with.

“What?”

“Be my boyfriend.” Juyeon lazily grinned.

They kept on staring at each other for a few more moments, Hyunjae still processing what he had just asked him.

“You’re serious?” he finally blurted out.

“As serious as I’ve ever been. Please be with me Lee Jaehyun.”

And slowly, but surely, the most beautiful smile Juyeon had ever been witness to bloomed across Hyunjae’s face, utter delight spread across his features.

“Yes. Yes, of course yes.” He leaned down suddenly, pressing kisses all over Juyeon’s face. “I’ll be your boyfriend, yes.”

Juyeon grabbed him by his waist, pulling him down until they were both wrapped up in each other again. “I promise I will make you the make the happiest man in the world.” He assured, so close to him their noses were touching.

“Not if I do it first.” Hyunjae retorted, before pressing a deep kiss against Juyeon’s lips.

And if they only left bed one hour later, that was only for them both to know.

**

Another hour passed, between breakfast, courtesy of Juyeon (or in other words, a demand from Hyunjae for homemade banana pancakes), and a prolonged shower that took them thrice the time because they decided to have it together - and Juyeon was a weak man with the most gorgeous being dripping wet under his shower head, he simply had kneeled before the other even had time to react.

They were getting dressed when Juyeon finally managed to ask Hyunjae what he had meant to ever since he had woken up.

He hugged Hyunjae form behind him, burying his head in his boyfriend’s – BOYFRIEND – neck. “ Hyung, I would like to take you to my dance studio today.”

He could hear the smile in the other’s voice as he spoke. “I ‘ve told you I would love to go there. When?”

“Uhm, today? Like, right now?”

The chest beneath his hands shook with laughter. Hyunjae was clearly amused. “Well, I was trying to come up with some excuse to spend more time with you, so thank you for having one already.”

They chuckled together at the silliness of the situation, both still too shy to express with words how much they wanted to spend time together, even after all they had done last night.

“Great, that’s great. I can’t wait to show it to you. I spend a lot of my time there.”

“And I can’t wait to see it.”

Juyeon was turning his boyfriend around and leaning in to kiss him, when the sound of a door opening and closing echoed around them. They both froze.

“Hyung? Are you home?” Eric’s voice resonated from afar.

Hyunjae quirked an eyebrow. “Your brother?”

Juyeon sighed. “Yes, it’s him. He came back earlier than I expected.” He lowered his head. “I’m so sorry. I’ll tell him to go to his room if you’re not comfortable meeting him today.”

“Hey, none of that.” Hyunjae grabbed his chin, forcing them to lock eyes. “I would love to meet your brother. You talk about him all the time.”

“You sure?” he asked uncertain.

“Of course. Let me just finish changing and I’ll go meet him.”

Juyeon stared fondly. He was falling so hard. Where had someone this understanding and compatible with him been his whole life. So many things would have been easier if he had had a Hyunjae by his side, he was sure.

“Okay.” He simply replied. “I’ll let him know you’re here then.”

“Okay.” Hyunjae pressed a soft peck to his lips. “I’ll be right after you.”

Juyeon emerged from his room, finding his brother in the kitchen grabbing utensils from different cupboards.

“Good morning, Eric.”

“Oh, hi hyung.” he turned around, smiling, before going back to his tasks. “Wasn’t sure you were home. You didn’t reply. How was last night? Did you have fun?”

“Uhm yes, I did. What about you?”

“Well a girl tried to hit on Hyunjun and his reaction was getting scared and tell her he was so gay that he dating all of us, so all in, I guess the usual. It was nice.” He shrugged. “But c’mon, tell me more. Did you ask him?”

Juyeon couldn’t help the involuntarily smile from appearing. “I did yes.”

“Aaand?”

“We’re dating now.”

“Fuck yes! Hyung I’m so happy for you. You better introduce us soon, you hear me?”

“Well. That’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about. Is right now too soon?”

“What do you mean right -” The math adding up in Eric’s brain was literally visible from where Juyeon was standing, the glint in his eyes getting so intense, Juyeon was sure they were producing their own light. “Wait, he stayed over? He’s here??”

“Yes.” His whole face changed into one of mild desperation. “And he wants to meet you. So please be nice.”

“Juyeon, you know I will, don’t worry. I can’t wait to meet him too.” Eric assured him, returning to his task on the counter. “I’m just making myself some iced coffee, Sunwoo was out of it. Would you like some?”

“No need. We already had breakfast. Actually, we were getting ready to leave when you got here, he’s just finishing getting dressed.”

“Where you guys going?”

“I’m showing him the dance studio. It should be empty right now.”

“Wow, the dance studio? That’s big hyung, I know it means a lot to you taking someone there.” His brother supported, back still turned to him, but words coming across just as meaningfully.

“Yes, been wanting to do with for a while -” he paused, feeling a hand encircling his waist.

“Hey, I’m here. Sorry I took so long.” Hyunjae spoke softly against his ear.

“Hey yourself.” Juyeon kissed him on the tip of his nose. “No worries, we were just talking about you. Eric?” he called for his distracted brother.

“Yes?”

“This is Hyunjae, my boyf-”

Juyeon did not get to finish his sentence, as Eric whipped his head around faster than the speed of light, eyes widening, and proceeded to drop everything he had been holding. The sound of dishes breaking echoed around the kitchen, coffee spilling on his clothes and floor. Juyeon moved to shield Hyunjae from any possible shards, while Eric remained glued to his spot, his eyes darting back and forth between them both, a mere “what the -” passing through his lips.

“Did I do something?” Hyunjae whispered into Juyeon’s ear, confused.

Juyeon frowned. “Ric? What -”

Eric seemed to snap out of his reverie upon Juyeon’s words, shaking his head and finally noticing the shattered mug and plate surrounding him on the floor. “Oh, shit, sorry. I am so sorry. Please don’t move, I’ll clean this up.” He waved his hands frantically. “I just didn’t expect this, I’m so sorry.”

He kneeled down, muttering small words Juyeon couldn’t quite grasp, picking up shattered pieces.

“Eric what’s going on?” Juyeon asked with a frown. “Do you have any problem with Hyunjae?”

His brother looked back up, wide eyed. “Oh, no no no.” He got up again and bowed profusely. “I am so sorry for this, it’s a pleasure to meet you Hyunjae-ssi. Please excuse these actions.”

“They why did you react like that, uh?” Juyeon pried further, still mildly annoyed that his brother’s first reaction to his boyfriend had been this poor.

“I – uhm -” Eric’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, out of words momentarily. “I – HYUNJAE-SSI!” he borderline yelled, turning to him.

“Yes?” the man asked, still confused over the whole situation.

“I reacted like this because you are very handsome.” He bowed once again. “I am just very happy that my brother found someone who is as handsome as you are.”

“Oh.” Hyunjae blushed so hard, Juyeon was sure it could rival his hair colour. He bowed, thankful. “Thank you very much Eric-ssi. And please call me hyung.”

He nodded reppeatadly. “That would be an honour Hyunjae-ssi. Sorry sorry. Hyunjae-hyung.” He smiled assuring.

“I’m sorry for having startled you then.” Hyunjae motioned to the shattered pieces, now in Eric’s hands.

“Please do not apologize. This is only my wrongdoing. And Juyeon-hyung told me you were both on your way out. Please don’t let my clumsiness delay you.”

Juyeon kept frowning at his brother while the two awkwardly spoke.

Did Eric think he had been born yesterday? They had spent their whole lives together, knew the other better than anyone. It was always beyond obvious whenever Eric tried to lie in front of him. It never worked.

It didn’t when he was seven and did not want to tell the rest of the family that kids were bullying him for not speaking Korean well, it didn’t when he was thirteen and had broken their mother’s make up pallet, and it didn’t now.

“Yeah, we should get going.” He turned to his boyfriend, trying to replace his frown with something more pleasant. “You got everything with you?”

“Sure, let me just get my bag from your room.” Hyunjae replied, leaving to collect his things.

Now alone, Juyeon approached Eric. “Don’t think I don’t see when you’re lying. Is there something wrong?”

“I’ve told you there isn’t Juyeon. I don’t know why this happened.” Eric was avoiding his eyes.

“You better not be hiding something. Hyunjae has done nothing wrong, and he makes me really happy.” He defended.

Eric’s features softened, and he finally looked at Juyeon before snorting. “I know he does, trust me. Just don’t mind this. I’m glad you found him. Just go and have fun, please. I’m fine hyung, please believe me.” He pleaded.

“Hey, I’m ready.” Both heard from behind them, Juyeon turning to find Hyunjae clad in his winter coat, and arm outstretched towards him with his own coat in hand.

“Thanks babe.” He smiled at him, accepting it and putting it on. He turned back to his brother. “I hope you’re not hiding something.”

“I’ve told you I’m not. Hyunjae-hyung,” Eric address the other in the room. “It was really nice to meet you, take care of my brother.” He motioned to the exit. “Don’t let me take up more of your time, I need to make a phone call anyway.”

“The pleasure was mine Eric-ah. I hope to see you soon.” He replied, slowly walking towards the entrance door.

“Yeah, I hope so too.” the youngest replied, phone already in hand as he dialed a number.

“See you later Ric.” Juyeon lastly said into his apartment, despite still being suspicious of his exaggerated reaction.

He closed the door behind Hyunjae and him, no longer catching the “What the fuck, Younghoon please pick up.” muttered by his younger brother against his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're reading this, then you have just gone through this giant 7.5k words chapter. Thank you so much for that effort, it means a lot. I apologize for the size but every scene in this story has been happening for a reason, and all of these needed to be here today.  
> once again, i would loooove to read some of your theories on what's going on. if you're perceptive enough, you might have already caught onto it. if not, dont worry. the next chapter... might just explain it all. but that's all i will say.  
> I apologize for all mistakes you might have found, this needs one full hour of editing at least, but I was once again too excited to have it publsihed.
> 
> thank you so much for sticking with me in this story, and once again merry christmas <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juyeon had barely been in their house for seconds, but Kevin and Jacob could already tell something was different in his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am extremely nervous as I post this. This chapter is incredibly important, will arguably be the most important chapter of the story. Some of these scenes were the first ones I ever wrote for the story, so I am excited but terrified to share them. Without any spoilers, the big fat question gets answered, and I'm just praying you enjoy it, as much as I did coming up with the plot. Enjoy <3

* The night before *

_Something is different._

This was Kevin’s first thought as Juyeon crossed the threshold of his apartment and hugged Jacob briefly, before doing the same to him. His friend was carrying himself with a lightness he hadn’t seen in his body for a long time now, a carefree expression and easy smile that fitted him so much more than the disguised tiredness of the past months.

Kevin was transported back to what Eric had mentioned in the group chat the other day, about how Juyeon had been going out for the past days, most likely with someone. He had forgotten about it almost immediately, still stuck in processing the news Chanhee had left in the same chat a few days earlier.

In fact, all ten of them had been too busy taking in that Hyunjae was moving on, Kevin’s head in particular filled with _“what if we made a mistake?”,_ but maybe they should have paid more attention, because the smile Juyeon was wearing… he had seen it only once before.

They motioned for him to go ahead to their living room, and Jacob whispered in his ear a brief “He’s seeing someone.” as they followed.

“I know. It’s so obvious.”

Kevin was absolutely going to drill him with questions.

They sat down in the large couch in the living room, sharing the customary pleasantries while Jacob fetched them some drinks and snacks.

“Just water for me hyung.” Juyeon requested. “I have something after this.”

 _Perfect._ They didn’t even need to push the subject _._ “Oh, is that so?” Kevin pried with a smirk. “You have something? Or is it someone? Because we know that face.”

It went beyond him how Juyeon still got caught of guard. Did he really not know how transparent he was with his feelings?

“How did you-”

“Juyeon, it’s like, very obvious.” Jacob explained smug, as he sat down next to Kevin, who leaned back slightly on his boyfriend.

“Oh. Well, I did want to tell you guys anyway.” He shrugged. “I guess that saves me the trouble.” A shy smile, as he caressed his nape. “Yes, I’m seeing someone.”

“That's really nice, you look happier Juyeon. And I’m glad you’re telling us.” His boyfriend patted their friend supportively on the shoulder.

“Yes, it really is very good Juyeon.” Kevin assured.

And it was. Not ideal, but it was good. His happiness was what mattered the most.

But, for their generally innocent friend, the praise was too much. His cheeks turned slightly pink, head lowered bashfully. “Thanks guys, I am happy yes. I really like him.”

“Oh, so it’s a he! I was going to ask that. Tell us more about him.”

“Well, he -” Juyeon really was hopeless at this, trying to find his words as Kevin watched bemused. “He’s the most beautiful human I have ever seen. And not just looks. I mean inside and out. This is cheesy and terrible, I know, but it’s what I feel. Like all the time we spend together is never enough for me to know more about him, but then I want to know everything about him.” He beamed at them. “And I’m definitely thinking about asking him to date me.” He also managed to spill out.

The couple stared at him for quite some seconds, marvelled at the beauty of his words.

“You’ve got it bad.” Jacob finally concluded curtly. There wasn’t much else to be said after all.

“He does.” Kevin completed, smiling softly. This raw fondness present in Juyeon’s eyes really suited him the best. “But, most beautiful person you have ever seen? This hurts my feelings.” He sighed dramatically.

“Shut up.” Juyeon pushed his shoulder playfully.

“No no, now I want to know. What does he look like?”

“Like heaven.”

“…I just lost three years of my lifespan thanks to that.” Jacob deadpanned.

Juyeon tsked, too embarrassed of his friends nosing about his feelings. “You’re both awful.”

“We’re not,” Kevin refuted. “we just want a decent description of him. You’re whipped, we get it. But I’m an artist, I need to have an image of the person in my head, please enlighten us.”

“Well, he has this light brown hair, and the cutest nose -” He paused, thinking for some moments. “Maybe I can just show you him? We took a selfie together the other day.”

Kevin widened his eyes, grinning. “Oh, YOU DID?” Now THIS is what he wanted to see. This man, whoever he was, had tough competition to beat in the looks department.

“I told him it was to put as his contact pic, and it is, but I -” His cheeks went one shade pinker. “I kind of want to be able to look at it once in a while? So I know I have not been hallucinating him.”

“Man, you’re so whipped.”

“Leave him be Kev, he’s gushing about his boy. Look at you, Lee Juyeon still got game!”

Kevin nudged Juyeon with his foot. “I’m happy for you buffoon. C’mon then, show us this man who is turning you into a walking gay panic.”

“Hey!” he protested, while Jacob chuckled, but still went for his phone on his back pocket, unlocking it to go through his gallery.

Juyeon smiled as he found at the photo. _We do look good together,_ he thought to himself. Jesus, he was already so gone, it was embarrassing.

“Here.” He turned the phone to his friends, shy grin on his face.

Kevin leaned in to look better, smiling as he took in his friend’s dopey grin, head tucked in the crook of the neck of a man of the same height who –

What.

No.

It can’t be.

He blinked twice, trying to see if the angular face staring back at him, dopey eyes, unrivalled nose, and caramel hair, would change. It didn’t.

_No fucking way._

Kevin’s face went paper-white while the smile fell from his face, and Jacob’s hand, that had been casually holding his waist, tightened his grip, as he too saw the photo and took the information in.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck.

Juyeon, unaware of his friends’ inner turmoil, turned the phone back to himself and started blabbering happily while looking at it, trying to disguise the embarrassment at having shown it. “His name is Lee Jaehyun, I forgot to tell you guys, but he prefers that his friends call him Hyunjae, and also he works at a bank but he’s actually a really good dancer, you have no idea how well he dances, it’s insane -”

“How did you meet each other, really?” Jacob interrupted, struggling not to let his voice waver.

“OH, YES! That’s the most insane part guys, it’s why I was saying that he’s a stunning dancer.” he giggled wholeheartedly “I was watching this street band perform and there was this song…”

Juyeon proceeded to tell them all about how this God-looking stranger (“Well, I guess not a stranger anymore, right?”) and him danced together after the band challenged the audience to do so, and how it was like the dance had been made for the two of them, that both knew the steps by heart but couldn’t remember from where, and how he didn’t remember having felt as free in the past year.

He told them how he had been close to pissing himself building up courage to ask the other to stay after the performance, to just go get some coffee with him, but how doing it had been worth it because the other had said yes, and kept on saying yes after three weeks of dates. How three weeks seemed so little but already so long, how it felt like they completed each other, like they had known each other all their lives.

Kevin would later praise himself and Jacob on their ability to keep their straight faces as Juyeon spewed about his love over and over again.

There even was a fleeting moment in which Kevin almost cried, but stood strong, holding onto Jacob’s hand, marvelling inside at how Fate really was twisted sometimes. He had pried out of their friend how far they had already gone, and Juyeon had given them the most heart-warming smile they had seen in god knows how long, as he told them about kissing Hyunjae for the first time under the moonlight.A Asmall part of him just felt so happy, and most of all, so relieved. He knew he could trust them.

“But I need your advice.” Juyeon interrupted his train of thought. “I kind of haven’t told him? About the accident.”

 _Of course you haven’t_. “Oh, that’s understandable.”

Juyeon nodded. “I know. And I know the doctor said I should only do it if I really have to or if I’m comfortable with the person, but I want to do it.” he fumbled with his hands. “I’m serious about this, I really want to be with Hyunjae, so I know I must to explain everything to him eventually. But I’m just so afraid, if he reacts poorly, I won’t know how to deal. My feelings are… I’ve never felt like this before.”

_But you have._

“Well, Juyeon -” his boyfriend started, guessing Kevin would probably be feeling too overwhelmed to take the wheel. Which he kind of was. But he still should be the one doing this. He knew Hyunjae better.

He squeezed Jacob’s hand as a signal, and proceeded. “You should only tell this Hyunjae person about it once you feel comfortable. But also, be careful not to leave him in the dark for long. I know you, and you won’t feel okay with it either. So, when you feel the time is right, sit down with him and explain.”

“Kevin, are you su-” his boyfriend whispered in his ear.

“Yes Cobie.” He replied curtly. He was tired of staying in the side lines watching as life unfolded and they all remained with their hands tied. Fate had just validated so many of his arguments, this one time he would voice out his damn advice. “We’ll be here for you when you tell him. If something goes wrong.” _Which I hope it doesn’t._

Juyeon gave them a small smile, evidently relieved. “I think I needed to hear that. Thanks guys, I’m really grateful for you.”

“It’s what we’re here for.” They assured him.

**

“You need to send me that photo of you two.” Kevin demanded later, as the afternoon drew to a close. Juyeon had already mentioned he should be leaving soon, so Kevin needed to hurry.

“The selfie? Uhm, of course, but why?”

Kevin shrugged, putting on his most nonchalant face. “For my wall of course. I want to put that photo there. It’s for my friends, right? And that includes you. Also, I have a knack this Hyunjae is staying.”

Jacob hit him on his arm surreptitiously, while Juyeon preoccupied himself with blushing furiously and sending Kevin the said picture.

Years ago, back when Jacob and him first got their apartment, Kevin had designed and built a metal structure in the biggest wall of the living room to hang photos. He had then demanded all of his friends to send them individual and couple photos, so he could “have a piece of everyone with him at home”. He kept adding more to this day. Every year, the wall got richer in memories, from polaroids to simple smartphone quality photographs of Jacob and him, their families, their ten closest friends. Or well, _nine_ at the moment. A major part of the wall had had to be redesigned one year ago, for safety.

Asking for certain photos from his friends had simply become routine at this point, which worked just perfectly in his favour for the situation. Juyeon would not suspect that the photo was actually their only proof that the world had just tilted on his axis. An evident that they needed, to show the others.

He heard the ping from his phone, signalling the message sent from Juyeon’s own. _Perfect_ , he thought, as he looked at the image now thankfully in his possession.

And actually, the photo was still going to his wall.

**

Juyeon left soon after, explaining how Eric had gone out with the others and thus Hyunjae would be going to their apartment for the first time. He sounded excited despite the clear nervousness over what happens when one takes a date home to stay the night, and so Kevin and Jacob were at least tranquil over the two, even if the situation felt entirely overwhelming. They would be enjoying themselves together tonight. 

Juyeon had barely been out of the door, and the couple was already turning to each other hurriedly.

“We need to call Hoon and Chanhee. And the others.” Jacob started.

Kevin put his hands to his head. “We do. Gosh how do we even start, what’s gonna happen?”

“I don’t know Kev, but all of them need to know about this. I’m ringing Chanhee.”

“Wait, wait.” Kevin had him pausing. “Hyunjae’s there right now.” He reminded his boyfriend, who sighed, not remembering that detail. “But Juyeon’s picking him up now, right? Then let’s wait. I’ll text Chanhee in like half an hour. We should be clear by then.”

Jacob nodded, and then hugged Kevin protectively. They both needed it after all, since the whole situation had just been sprung on them without either being ready. “Okay, we wait.”

**

**_Kevin_ **

_Has Hyunjae already left?_

**_Chanhee_ **

_How did you know he was even going somewhere?_

_But he has_

_Why though, what’s going on?_

**_Kevin_ **

_You’ll see how I know in a second_

_We need to call you guys, is it cool with you?_

**_Chanhee_ **

_Of course, go ahead_

“Chanhee!” he screamed as soon as the other picked up.

_“Kevin! What’s with this urgency? Everything alright?”_

“I don’t know.” He huffed, panicked. “I really don’t know -”

"Hi Chanhee, are you sitting?” Jacob spoke over his boyfriend. “Is Younghoon there too?”

_“Yes yes, you guys are on speaker.”_

_“I’m here too.”_ Younghoon’s further away voice.

_“But what’s going on, is it Juyeon? Is he alright?”_

“Well, he is, very much so.” Kevin paused, taking a deep breath to not let his voice waver, “But it’s about him. Open kakao, I’m sending you a photo.”

_“A photo? Okay, I’m logging in.”_

Kevin fumbled with his phone for a few moments, finally attaching the incriminating file and sending it to their kakaotalk chatroom.

In their own apartment, just those few minutes by foot away from their friends, Chanhee opened his chatroom, and the two checked that the photo had already been sent.

Younghoon stared over his boyfriend’s shoulder as it loaded, and once it did, his eyes bulged out of his head, and he felt Chanhee freeze under him. The silence was incredibly loud around them, as they took in the unassuming selfie Kevin had just sent.

The information needed time to set in.

Because a selfie of Hyunjae and Juyeon together was not something they had never seen. Hell, Kevin used to have so many on his wall, right next to the ones he had demanded Younghoon and him to send, so many years ago. Chanhee even knew that he took down all photos with Hyunjae one year ago, for safety.

But any photo of Hyunjae with Juyeon would have to obligatory feature a very blonde Hyunjae, or a coppery brown one, not this caramel and curly version of the older. And at most, a dirty blonde Juyeon, or one with pitch black hair with an inky hue, but never a Juyeon with a violently red undercut.

Because Chanhee had been the one to suggest and dye Hyunjae’s hair, shortly after he had been allowed to go home. Back then, his hair had been filled with protruding dark roots screaming for treatment, against bleach blonde strands that he was confused for having ever gone for. After all, he didn’t know that Juyeon had loved the white blonde on him to a predatory extent, and that he had been way too whipped to care about his scalp beyond that.

The couple also knew this was Juyeon’s current hairdo, even if they had not seen him ever since that dreadful day. The ten of them had made sure to keep everyone updated on how both were doing for the past year, so Younghoon and him knew well that Kevin had been with Juyeon when he had gone to dye his hair like that for the first time ever, some four months ago.

And four-months-ago Lee Juyeon did not know Lee Jaehyun.

Which meant this photo had to be recent. Which was not possible.

 _“So, remember when you guys told us Hyunjae had found someone?”_ Kevin broke the silence over the phone, voice a pitch higher. “ _Hyunjae never really told you who it was right? Yeah that’s something he would definitely pull. I mean, remember when he did this to you in college too?”_ He laughed without any humour, overwhelmed. _“So, yeah, I think I might know who it is.”_

“Is this -” Yoounghoon’s voice cut through Kevin’s nervous rant. “When was this?”

_“This week Younghoon. It was this week.”_

“ I don’t - What. How.” Chanhee added with a choked voice.

_“Hyunjae and Juyeon are going out. They went out his week. I mean, think it’s obvious from the photo, I –”_

“…This is impossible.” Chanhee finally manages to blurt out.

 _“Don’t worry, I couldn’t believe it either.”_ Kevin yelped from his side of the phone. _“Chanhee, they’ve been going on dates! Gosh, I fucking told you, these idiots. I knew they would find each other somehow. I told -”_

 _“Kev,”_ Jacob spoke over him. _“It’s okay, take a breath.”_

 _“But how can I Jacob? I don’t know what to think, I don’t even know if I’m happy or concerned, and I miss my fucking best friend and I told you not even this would break them apart, what they had was too strong, and we should’ve told them, but I know that would have been too hard for them…”_ A sigh. _“I don’t know what to think.”_

“Kevin-ah. It’s alright. We’re all here.” Younghoon’s voice.

“Yes, don’t worry, we all miss them. I mean, of course I miss Juyeon too, no one ever goes shopping with me these days.” Chanhee laughed, trying to disguise that he was about to cry. “But this. This is big, I don’t know what to say.”

It was very hard to express their emotions properly after all. On one side they were crazily worried about the situation. Because who knows how it could evolve. Hell, it was already evolving right under their noses. But on the other hand, it was inconceivable, _unbelievable,_ that after all ties between their lives had seemingly been cut, for their protection, they still managed to not only find each other in an unprecedent matter, but also carve a place again in the other’s heart under the space of weeks.

It was nothing short of a terrifying miracle.

 _“We need to tell the others.”_ Jacob went on, more level-headed than the rest of them. _“And their parents. I don’t think Eric knows.”_

“Of course, he doesn’t.” Younghoon replied.

_“Kevin and I can ask everyone to come here tomorrow. And we can call their families once everyone’s here.”_

“Why not today?” Chanhee demanded alarmed.

“The others are out tonight, remember?”

“Shit, you’re right, Changmin told me he was going out with the kids.”

 _“Exactly, so let’s not interrupt that.”_ Jacob explained. _“I know Eric won’t be able to sleep anymore if we tell him now, so let’s wait. Juyeon and Hyunjae should still be together tomorrow so we’re safe to meet up.”_

“Wait. I almost forgot. This means they’re together. Like, right now.” Younghoon realized.

Kevin giggled. _“It’s insane right? And I think Juyeon’s going to ask Jae to date him.”_

“What? Shut up Kevin, oh my god. I’m going to fucking cry.” Chanhee admonished.

_“Don’t worry, I’ve already cried plenty.”_

_“We’re going off track here guys.”_ Jacob reminded. _“What do we do? Tomorrow at midday here?”_

“Of course, Hoon and I will be there.”

_“Okay, then, we’ll text the group chat.”_

**

Younghoon stared at his ringing phone as he munched on his breakfast. Eric was calling him, which was weird. Not even half an hour ago he had told Kevin and Jacob in the group chat that he would be there, so shouldn’t everything be fine?

He picked up, putting the phone on speaker.

 _“Younghoon-hyung! Oh my god, thank god you picked.”_ The other breathed out immediately.

“Why? What’s going on?”

_“I’m about to fucking cry hyung. I hope you’re sitting because this is too much to process. I don’t know how to say this gosh, but Hyunjae-hyung just left my apartment. Like, right fucking now! With Juyeon-hyung. THEY’RE DATING HYUNG! I don’t know what to do.”_

_Oh shit._ “Shit, this was faster than we thought.”

_“What?”_

“Chanhee!” Younghoon called out for his boyfriend, before getting back to Eric. “Eric, don’t worry, they’re fine. We know about it.”

_“What?? YOU KNEW??”_

“Yes. I mean no. Wait.” He put his free hand to his face, trying to gather his words. “Not until last night. Juyeon told Kevin and Jacob about who he was seeing. As you can imagine Kevin freaked out, a lot, and they called us when Juyeon left because they didn’t know what to do either.”

_“And why didn’t anyone tell me??”_

“Because,” Chanhee replied as he appeared with light footsteps on the kitchen, clearly having heard the conversation until now, “we knew you would get overwhelmed about it, we know how much you miss Hyunjae. And you guys were all out last night, Min told me that the five of you were going clubbing, so we figured it was best to tell all of you together today.”

 _“Oh.”_ A paused on the other side. _“That was thoughtful. I’m sorry, I’m just out of reactions -”_

“We know Eric. Kevin and I cried too. We’re sorry for not saying anything, we were waiting to be at Kev and Cob’s, and we didn’t think you would be coming home. Min said all of you were staying at Hak and Sunwoo’s, so I didn’t think you might run into them.”

Eric chucked at the irony of it all. _“They were out of coffee. I came home to make myself a fucking coffee.”_

Younghoon chuckled, “Well, you still got your coffee, and to see Hyunjae after so long as a bonus.”

_“Not really. I kinda dropped everything I was holding when I saw him.”_

“What do you mean?”

_“I might be drenched in coffee right now.”_

“What?? Oh my god.” Chanhee yelped.

Next to him, his boyfriend snickered involuntarily. “So you’re telling me the first impression Hyunjae got of you was you dropping everything on the floor when you saw him?”

 _“Shut up hyung, it’s so bad!”_ Eric yelled embarrassed. _“Do you know what I had to tell them? That I was too stunned by Hyunjae-hyung’s beauty.”_

The couple started guffawing uncontrollably.

“Oh my god, I can already imagine Juyeon’s face.” Younghoon snorted out.

“Eric, I love you. This is hilarious.”

_“You’re both awful, I’m hanging up.”_

“Of course Eric.” Younghoon managed between laughs. “See you in an hour.”

**

Telling everyone else was… an experience.

As they all sat around Kevin and Jacob’s living room, the owners occupying the sofa alongside Chanhee, Sangyeon taking the arm chair, and the rest spread around the floor, the looks varying from disbelief (Haknyeon) to worry (Sangyeon) or joy (Hyunjun) were the only reactions to the unbelievable story they had just been told.

Sunwoo was the first to break the silent, staring deadpanned at the incriminating photo Kevin had gone to the trouble of printing out (“Damn right I’m putting this on the wall immediately!”), and taking in what everyone had explaining.

“So you telling me these idiots,” he started, “who forgot five years of their lives, and their four fucking years old relationship in that shitty ass accident, met each other a month ago, didn’t tell any of us, and are dating now?”

“I guess when you put it in those terms. Yeah, exactly.” Chanhee stared worriedly at his friend’s impassive face.

“I fucking hate them.”

Haknyeon kissed him on his cheek, smiling lovingly. “We know you do.”

“Well, I guess Juyeon did tell me and Jacob.”

“This doesn’t matter now. The question is what do we do?” Changmin eyed them all, looking for answers he didn’t have.

“Well, I think it’s obvious, right?” Eric shrugged. “We can’t do shit. Like, not alone at least. I’m gonna call my parents and my noona, and I guess I can also call Hyunjae-hyung’s family.”

“It’s better if I do that.” Younghoon intervened. “Chanhee and I vouched to them that we would look after him.”

“Hey don’t take all the credit, if it weren’t for Sangyeon-hyung and me, he would have quit his job. He told me that once.”

Chanhee smiled at Haknyeon. “We know Hak. And you guys had it the worst, pretending you didn’t know him.”

“Thanks Hee.” He extended his hand to squeezed the pink-haired’s. “But I was thinking, shouldn’t we tell their doctor about this?”

“I’m not sure if it should be us Hak.” Sangyeon replied. “I think it’s better if their parents do it. Or maybe Eric and their sisters.”

“Okay, pause. I think you’re all forgetting something.” Hyunjun finally voiced his thoughts. “I’m like, really happy about this, you know I shared Kevin’s opinion back then, but what if they remember?”

They stared confusedly for a moment.

“You mean like, remember each other?” Changmin confirmed.

“Exactly.”

“Hyunjun, I don’t know if -” Sangyeon took the wheel. “It’s been a year. They didn’t get any memories back.”

“And?”

“And the more time goes by, the slimmer the chance to get them back is.”

“I know that hyung, but didn’t you hear what Kev-hyung said? They danced to the song they performed at the college showcase. Together. Because they remembered how to.”

“Fuck Joon, I hadn’t thought about that.” Eric let out, Kevin nodding along.

Because indeed, that was something they had not considered. One whole year of not recollecting anything, of frustrated afternoon walks for Hyunjae and irritated overnights at the dance studio for Juyeon. And then, merely being in front of each other, faced with a song that had once held meaning for them, had been enough of a trigger to make them remember a dance they had choregraphed together years ago.

Changmin motioned to speak. “So what you’re saying is that they might start remembering things because being together already made it happen once?”

“Don’t you think that just knowing their college performance is too small of an alarm?” Sunwoo added.

“I’m just saying that it’s a possibility, and we should ask their doctor about it, but also be prepared. Like,” Hyunjun flapped around, searching for words. “I’m going to be really happy if I get to have Hyunjae-hyung back, I miss him. With or without his memories. And I miss seeing Juyeon-hyung happy with him. But we need to be prepared if they start remembering things, because they’re going to hate us.”

Kevin stared apprehensively. “You think they will?”

Hyunjun sighed. “Hyung, we’ve been lying to them all this time, all of us. Yes, I know it’s what we were told to do, but I don’t know if they will understand that.”

They all eyed each other, apprehensive and afraid of the consequences. It was still hard to wrap their heads around the idea that their Juyeon and Hyunjae were dating once again, without any intervention from them, and without remembering that once, they had been engaged.

The shrill of a phone ringing interrupted their thoughts.

Chanhee went to grab it from his coat, ringtone obviously his.

He stared at the screen for a moment. _Weird. Shouldn’t he be with Juyeon right now?_

“Hey, it’s Jae is calling. All of you stay quiet.” he shushed everyone around him, picking up the call. “Hey Jae, everything alright?”

 _“Chanhee.”_ The trembling voice of their friend replied from the other side.

His heart started hammering immediately. Something was wrong.

He motioned for Younghoon to come closer, and put the phone on speaker.

“Is everything alright? Hoon is here too, talk to us.”

 _“Chanhee, what’s going on?”_ Hyunjae asked in a choked voice, confusing them both.

“Uhm?” He traded looks with his boyfriend. Shouldn’t they be the ones asking that?

 _“You told me there was no one.”_ Hyunjae continued, as everyone around the room listened, getting progressively alarmed. _“Oh god, -”_ a pause. _“there’s so many photos, what is happening.”_

Photos?

“Jae? Please talk to us. Where are you?” Younghoon asked worried.

 _“I didn’t live with you two, right? Before my accident.”_ his voice got even more choked, and he scoffed _. “Of course I didn’t. Everyone has been lying.”_

“Hyunjae, please, where are you?” Chanhee insisted.

A long, an eternally long pause, while everyone held their breath. And then –

_“I’m home Chanhee. I think I’m home.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I think some of you knew, right? Or maybe not? Most of all I just hope you liked it ㅠㅠ and that you stay till the end. There's so much more to come, I promise, and the upcoming chapter might be my favorite as the writer so far. But maybe that's because we're going back to Hyunjae's POV, which is my favourite to write.
> 
> pls pls pls leave your thoughts in the comments, I am legit dying to know them <3<3
> 
> PS1: Writing dialogue scenes with ten people is HELL, my brain needs a rest after this. Big respect for people doing interactions between full groups like seventeen or god forbid, NCT.  
> PS2: to everyone who left comments in the last chapter, I didnt reply simply because I was afraid I would get overexcited and accidentally spoiler something. The cat is out of the bag now though, I'm once again available to scream alongside all of you.  
> PS3: I'm sorry my author's note are so lenghtly, I've always struggled summarizing my thoughts.
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on twitter to rant about all 12 of them and don't forget Hyunjun's drama premieres tomorrow!  
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juyeon takes Hyunjae to his dance studio.  
> They dance. They also talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter had some scenes which weren't easy to write to me at first, which is why it took me longer to update, but i'm happy i can finally share it wth you guys.  
> One day i'll get down to how many chapters this fic is really going to be. Today is not that day. Every update I realize i need just one more added, or that some chapters will actually be split in two or three... oh well.

The sun was warm on his face, despite the cold weather, the hand gripping his inside his coat pocket felt like the nicest touch, and Hyunjae was happy. Just genuine happiness coursing through his veins as he looked sideways at Juyeon and noticed a small smile etched on his face.

 _He’s so beautiful._ If he had already thought Juyeon looked otherworldly when he had first met him, then now, after spending such a wonderful night with him, Hyunjae was certain that it was nothing short of an honour to be dating – DATING, THEY’RE BOYFRIENDS – the most gorgeous human in the world.

Little words could explain the raw emotion coursing through him the day before as Juyeon had kneeled before him and just stared, pupils blown wide, not with desire but absolute awe. The way he had kissed him affectionately in all the marred skin that had brought Hyunjae so many insecurities for the past months.

Hyunjae could still remember the first time he had looked at his leg after removing his cast, and how he had cried on his mother’s shoulder overwhelmed, questioning if he would ever have the confidence to wear a pair of shorts again. Juyeon had shown him none of it mattered, that whatever scars covered his body, it was his mission to own them, not let them dictate what he thought of himself.

And it had felt so freeing to show him his body, and to be accepted. Like being freed of a portion of the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders. Because worrying about people’s stares was nothing in comparison to the fear Hyunjae had of losing Juyeon, and talking about his physical injuries still felt easier than the rest, even if he knew he would have to eventually explain him the hardest part too. Tell him how his last year had been a process of catching up to a giant black hole in his brain.

But Hyunjae would not have been able to handle both things at the same time. He wanted to do the rest sat down, so he could carefully explain everything. After all, how would one easily tell the man they were rapidly falling for something as off-putting as “hey, by the way, this changes nothing of who I am, but remember the accident that injured my leg? I also took a strong hit to the head which gave me partial amnesia, and I don’t remember anything from the past six years until one year ago.”

He just hoped that Juyeon would understand and stay in spite of it.

“We’re here.” Juyeon got him out of his thoughts, signalling to the door in front of him.

They had taken the subway and were currently in the heart of bustling Seoul. Hyunjae had been so distracted that he had failed to notice them approaching what was arguably one of the most famous dance companies in the city. Famous idol groups choreographies were known to have been made here.

“Shit Juyeon.” He whispered.

The other eyed him amused. “What?”

“You didn’t tell me you worked HERE! Juyeon this is huge.”

His boyfriend’s cheeks went beautifully pinkish. “Oh. Well I wasn’t sure you would have recognized the name -”

“Juyeon, we literally met because of a dance.” He deadpanned. “Of course I know this, I try the YouTube dance tutorials whenever there’s a new one.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.”

“Though I’m sure I’ve never seen you in any video.” He teased, pointing at his chest.

Juyeon shook his head. “I don’t post those. Changmin does, so you might find me in the back of some of his workshop videos, and I used to do it too some years ago, but not anymore.” He shrugged.

Hyunjae rose his eyebrows. “But you should. Post videos that is. I mean, I would watch.”

Juyeon scoffed. “You’re just saying that because we’re together.”

“No such thing, are you doubting my knowledge in dance once again?”

“Oh, no, of course not,” he teased him, “I would never! But,” he scooted closer, pressing a chaste kiss against Hyunjae’s forehead that had him blushing, “now I would rather dance for you.”

Hyunjae pushed him slightly away, face getting even redder at the confession. “You’re a tease. Go on them, I want to see what you do here.”

Juyeon motioned to the large doors. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way.”

Juyeon pushed the doors and entered, nodding his head to the lady siting at the front desk, who smiled familiarly at him before turning to do the same to Hyunjae. He bowed slightly to her, only to notice her suddenly frowning at him the moment they locked eyes.

_What? Did I do something?_

He didn’t have time to dwell on it for long however, as Juyeon dragged him up a flight of stairs.

“Changmin is your friend who’s a choreographer, right?” he asked as they climbed, remembering the person Juyeon had mentioned outside.

“Yes, most of the time he’s designing choreography for idol groups.”

“Oh, that’s big. But what do you do different then? Didn’t you go to college together?”

“We did yes, roommates and everything, but I’m a dance teacher. I usually I work with kids. Most of the time it’s idol trainees without background in dancing, who need to get the basis down. But I’ve also helped Changmin with creating some moves or explaining them to the dancers when he’s making something new.” He huffed. “Hyunjun says Changmin forgets not everyone is crazy and can do anything like him.”

“Hyunjun…” Hyunjae tried to recall everything his boyfriend had told him about his friends. “One of your brother’s close friends, right? Him and… was it Sunhwa?”

“It’s Sunwoo,” Juyeon chuckled, “but yes, that’s whom. He’s a professional dancer, and has danced with some famous idols already, but he works with Changmin most of the time, he’s always in his team when Min is designing something new.”

Hyunjae nodded amused. “Nepotism much?”

“Maybe,” Juyeon shrugged, “but Hyunjun is an extremely talented dancer, anyone would be thankful to have him dancing for them. Anyways, this is me.” He motioned to the doors in front of them.

“Your practice room?” Hyunjae asked, noticing the LEE JUYEON inscribed at eye level on the door.

“Yes,” his boyfriend nodded happily as he unlocked the door and motioned inside. “Where I give class and practice myself.”

They entered, Hyunjae nodding to himself impressed as he took in his surroundings. The room was extremely spacious, with a mirror lining the entire wall in front of them, and a black leather couch on the left under a large window, next to what was evidently the sound system, and some water bottles tossed on the floor. The wall on the right held a ballet barre across almost all of it, and a closed door, which Hyunjae knew led to a small room that had a small sink inside and worked mostly as a storage closet.

 _Uh?_ He paused. _How did I -_

He shrugged the feeling off, deciding not to worry about that now, turning to Juyeon, who in the meantime had put his coat on one of the hangers lining up the wall behind them, and was motioning for Hyunjae to do the same.

They both got closer to the mirror, after stripping out of the winter layers and Hyunjae putting his small overnight bag on the couch. His boyfriend cleared his throat. Hyunjae turned to him.

“I was thinking I could show you this dance I’ve been working on?” Juyeon shyly asked. “It’s to teach the kids, it’s nothing special but -”

“Of course.” Hyunjae assured, pecking him lightly on the cheek, the relief seeping out of Juyeon in visible waves. He continued, “We came here so you would show me what you work on, right? So go on,” He pointed for the speakers. “I can’t wait to see.”

Juyeon smiled tenderly, reciprocating Hyunjae’s gesture with a kiss of his own in his caramel coloured strands, and a “Thank you, you’re amazing.” whispered against him. “Warm up with me?”

“Sure.”

He went over to the speakers and put on a relaxing song, joining Hyunjae in readying his joints. They went through the warm up, showing each other what they usually did for fifteen minutes, bantering together. When Juyeon felt he was ready to go through his routine, Hyunjae went to sit down against the mirrored wall, fully intending on seeing Juyeon in his element from the front.

Juyeon went again to the speakers and rummaged through his phone, nodding approvingly when he found the playlist had been looking for. The song started, one Hyunjae knew well since his dearest friend Younghoon was quite the fan and demanded it to be listened to every week in their apartment.

Juyeon positioned himself in the middle of the room, right in front of him, Hyunjae raising an appreciative eyebrow at the sight, and lifted his right hand slowly, just as The Weeknd sang the first verse.

_“I just, pretend…”_

Juyeon performing was like poetry in motion. There’s was an unmasked satisfaction abundant in his face, from dancing something that had clearly been created by himself, the faint grin that Hyunjae could already pinpoint contrasting yet with some nervousness in his eyes, present every time he stole a glance to his boyfriend sat on the floor.

 _He’s nervous about me enjoying this_ , he realized.

It was quite nonsense of Juyeon to worry about it. Especially when Hyunjae could feel his entire self flushing at the sensual dance, tongue darting out to wet his lips involuntarily at the sight of him hip thrusting with a sly grin. His boyfriend seemed to notice the small action however, as the nervous glint was slowly replaced by clear confidence, smirk widening on his features just as the chorus started.

_“In your eyes… I see there’s something burning inside you”_

Hyunjae was so gone for this man. He couldn’t help but be thankful to have found him, as he watched Juyeon glide around the room satisfied, provocative moves keeping Hyunjae in a trance, glued to the floor.

The song skipped to the end, evidently shortened to fit the performance, the dancer ending with a kick to his right, some final moves, and then crossing his legs, left hand raised to his face in a final pose. He took some big gulps of air, as Hyunjae stayed put on his spot, letting the admiration for this man course through his veins.

“You are so much more amazing than I even imagined.” he finally managed to say, after some seconds gathering his thoughts, and getting up.

Juyeon lowered his head bashfully. “So you liked it?”

“If I liked it??” Hyunjae retorted back in disbelief. “Juyeon, I can’t even believe you gave me the honour of dancing with you back when we didn’t know each other, because you’re miles away from everyone.” He nuzzled his nose against Juyeon’s, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “You’re something else. And you love doing this, it’s all over your expression.”

Juyeon pressed their foreheads together. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means.”

“Of course.”

The two shared a soft kiss together, Hyunjae smiling into it as he pressed a hand to Juyeon’s cheek and felt a small drop of sweat coating his finger.

“So you made the dance here?” He asked curious as they parted.

“You mean in the studio?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it’s not like I have anywhere else to practice, and I try to make new routines whenever I don’t have classes. I actually want to teach this to my Tuesday students.”

Hyunjae smiled. “So every time you’re not with me, you’re here.”

“I guess.” Juyeon huffed. “Though I go grocery shopping sometimes.” he assured Hyunjae, who laughed at his pout, before his expression fell down slightly. “But sometimes I wish I had a bit more space at home. Just to prepare classes and dance for myself. Sometimes I stay overnight here because when I’m finished it’s already close to 1pm. But the apartment is small, and I need a big mirror.”

Hyunjae smiled “You could use your wardrobe mirror, it’s what I do.”

“You know it isn’t the same.” He bopped Hyunjae’s nose playfully. “And I still should be grateful that the company has given me the keys to be here anytime I want. Changmin spends a lot of time here too so it’s okay.”

“And you’ve never planned on leaving? To start your own thing or something?”

“Like opening my dance studio?”

Hyunjae nodded.

“Uhm… not right now. That would involve a big investment, and I only have a degree in dance education, I would need to hire a manager or someone to handle the business side. It’s a step that I don’t think I’m ready for yet.”

“I understand. But I’m sure you would do great.”

“You just have too much faith in me.” He smiled, placing a short kiss on Hyunjae’s lips before drawing away. “But enough of this, I want you to show me what you got too.”

Hyunjae raised his eyebrows. “You want me to dance something?”

“Of course. Why else would we have warmed up together?”

Hyunjae sighed playfully. “Okay, let me see if I can remember anything. But hey,” he tried to make a serious face (and failed), “No judging, I’m not the professional you are.”

Juyeon lifted his hand to his heart dramatically. “I would never.”

He rolled his eyes and went over to the speakers, Juyeon’s phone plugged in. “Passcode?” he asked for, grabbing the phone.

“One two three four.”

Hyunjae whipped his head, staring judgementally.

“What?” his boyfriend asked innocently. “Passwords are boring.”

He snorted, amused at Juyeon’s carelessness, and typed in the ‘1234’, phone immediately opening up in the music library. A playlist of The Weeknd songs was open, Hyunjae smiling at how Juyeon had several downloaded, and wondering if he had danced to all already. He meant to close it and look for something else, perhaps on YouTube, but his eyes got stuck on the song “Can’t Feel My Face”.

He knew a routine to this song didn’t he? His brain was telling him so.

He shrugged, letting his instinct go for it, and pressed play, putting the phone back and returning to Juyeon, who had in the meantime sat on the floor much like he had been moments ago.

His boyfriend nodded approvingly. “This isn’t an easy song. You gonna freestyle or you have something in mind?”

Hyunjae shrugged. “I think I know something to this. It feels like I do.”

“Okay, I can’t wait to see it.” Juyeon smiled at him.

They both stood, Juyeon sat with his arms resting on his lifted up right knee, and Hyunjae casually rolling his wrists as he waited for the chorus to start.

_“She told me you’ll never be alone oh oh woo…”_

He let go of all thoughts in his head and just let his body do its thing, as the chorus started and he chased the beats of the song, looking at the mirror in concentration. He smiled as he enjoyed himself. It had been a while since he had had so much space to just let go and dance (or at least since he could remember). His bedroom couldn’t compare.

_“But I love it.”_

He eyed Juyeon on the floor briefly, noticing he was oddly pensive. He raised an eyebrow in question. Was he doing something he shouldn’t?

_“I can’t feel my face when I’m with you.”_

He kept on, hoping he wasn’t making a fool out of himself, but Juyeon started getting up.

“I think…” he heard him mumbling, as he got up and placed himself next to Hyunjae.

“What…?”

“I think I know this.” The younger replied to his unspoken question, taking a breath as the chorus reached its end. Hyunjae kept on, albeit still confused over what Juyeon meant.

_“And I know she’ll be the death of me”_

Juyeon started dancing too, moves in perfect sync with Hyunjae’s.

They both started ahead at the mirror marvelled, for the first time able to watch how they looked dancing together.

It was exhilarating.

There was no better celebration for Hyunjae of the art that was dancing than being allowed the luxury of doing it with someone for whom he was growing admiration for every day. Putting aside the thoughts of how once again they knew the same choreography, for a song that Hyunjae didn’t remember when or where he learned (and he had a feeling neither did Juyeon once again, if his confusion at himself was anything to go by), they were a picture in motion, and it was hard to contain his own excitement. And if the beam Juyeon reciprocated through the mirror was anything to go by, he felt the just the same.

_“She told me don’t worry, about it”_

The pre-chorus started, both focusing and realizing they didn’t know much more of the song. It was normal, most dance routines spanned through on to two minutes of the song sampled, but it was leaving Hyunjae nervous. Because his instinct told him the song would end with his waist being grabbed by a pair, and him making a quick twirl as a response. Would they….?

_“She told me you’ll never be alone”_

Should Hyunjae follow the steps he felt like? Should he lean closer to Juyeon, who was in the right position to complete the dance with him?

_“oh”_

He stepped closer in the middle of the final steps, trusting their seemingly unexplainable connection when dancing.

_“oh”_

Juyeon’s right arm darted to the side, just in time to involve Hyunjae’s waist from behind, as he swayed his hips to the left on instinct, and his boyfriend pulled him towards his side, Hyunjae making the twirl his body was telling him to.

_“woo!”_

Hyunjae stopped his spin right in front of Juyeon, who snaked his right arm around his waist immediately just as the chorus started, and thus their dance ended.

They didn’t say anything for a few moments, Juyeon simply smiling at the mirror from above his left shoulder, and Hyunjae immediately replying with one of his own, even as they caught their breathes, chests rising and falling at a rapid pace. God, this felt amazing. Overwhelming, unexplainable, but amazing.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Hyunjae finally teased, once again choosing to neglect the implications of how well they seemed to fit as dance partners, and going to the part where he could compliment his boyfriend’s talent.

Juyeon shook his head. “Nonsense. I wouldn’t mind if all I did was this.” He said with soft eyes. Hyunjae giggled in return, ready to retort when –

It came unprompted.

One minute Hyunjae was still in the room, Juyeon’s arms solidly around him, and the other his mind was being filled with images similar, but oh so different, as he closed his eyes, the confusing sensation overflooding him.

Behind his eyelids, he saw Juyeon and him, in the same position, but in what was clearly a smaller practice room. The two men staring back at him in this different mirror were spotting beaming smiles, sweat dripping down their foreheads as a Juyeon with pitch dark hair leaned down to leave a chaste kiss on the neck of a Hyunjae with nearly white strands mated to his forehead, whispering a “ _I wouldn’t mind if all I did was this_ ” against his skin.

The vision was over just as soon as it appeared, image vanishing as Hyunjae reopened his eyes startled, drawing away from Juyeon and pressing the back of his hand to his forehead.

_What just happened._

“Hyung?” He heard from behind him, a large palm pressing comfortably against his back. “Are you okay?”

Hyunjae looked back at his boyfriend for a second with a frown, before diverging his eyes and shaking his head. _This is my brain playing with my fantasies,_ he assured himself. Because it had to be. It had to have been his imagination. His brain had decided that the vision of him and Juyeon with contrasting hair colours of nearly white and black would be extremely hot (and god, it was), and therefore Hyunjae should have to live with it.

It had just been that.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the redhaired, willing the frown away from his face. “I just felt a bit dizzy all of a sudden, that’s all. But I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Juyeon asked, eyes full of concern. “I have some water if you -”

“Yes, I’m fine Juyeonie, I promise.” Hyunjae assured, as he put his arms around Juyeon’s neck, smiling softly at him. “Everything is okay. And I love dancing with you, you know this.”

Juyeon’s nervous posture deflated, and he circled his arms around Hyunjae’s waist. “I’ll believe in you then.” He nuzzled the other’s shoulder. “I’m just really happy to be able to show you this space. It’s really amazing that I get to dance with you here. Like, really really amazing.”

Hyunjae petted Juyeon’s hair at the base of his neck, leaving small goose bumps in his wake. “I know. It’s really nice. And seeing you let loose here - You look free, like this is your element.”

Juyeon drew a bit away, so they could stare into each other’s eyes. “Thank you. It is. Dancing is how I feel most comfortable.”

“And you should really post videos, you know?” Hyunjae brought up once again, trying to also will his thoughts away from confusing scenarios in his head. “I mean, if the studio has a whole channel for that, I’m sure you would give great online lessons.”

Juyeon shook his head, denying his statement. “I don’t think that would work. It would feel awkward to do that after so long. I don’t even know when it was I last put something there...”

“But what about those? Th ones you used to post. Did you really not like to see yourself in them? I just feel like you would have an audience waiting and -”

“I haven’t watched them.”

Hyunjae paused, confused at the statement. “What do you mean you haven’t -”

“My own videos. I haven’t watched them. At least not this year.” He continued.

“But why? You feel like they’re bad, I’m more than sure that -”

“No no, it’s no of that, I just -” he paused, searching for words. “I was advised not to, so I never did.”

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t you look through your video portfolio?” He started feeling worked up. “Did anyone say you didn’t do well before or-”

“No no no, it really is nothing like that, I promise.” He waved his hands frantically, trying to destress his frowning boyfriend, who looked ready to tackle to the floor anyone who might have dared step on Juyeon’s confidence. “It really isn’t, everyone here tells me several times that they are glad to have me. It’s about something else. And I -” he stuttered for a little, before sighing. “And I guess it’s time I tell you this anyway.”

“Uh? Tell me what?” Hyunjae stared on, now lost.

“About my -” Juyeon paused and shook his head, rephrasing himself. “I haven’t watched any of my videos dancing because I was advised to not by my doctor. And my friends.”

Hyunjae frowned again. “I don’t get it.”

“I know you don’t, but I – I’ll explain. I really want to. But can we sit?” he motioned for the couch. “This is something important, I want to tell you everything, we should sit.”

Hyunjae nodded, slowly getting worried. It seemed like something serious, and that Juyeon was conflicted over. “Of course.”

The pair went over to the small sofa, Hyunjae facing his boyfriend, who sat on his right, spotting the most nervous look he had ever witnessed in the weeks they had known each other.

“Okay. So. Uhm.” Juyeon tried to begin, struggling to even find words.

“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever it is you want to tell me, I’m sure it will be fine. Here, deep breathes.” He motioned for him to follow, and they both took a gulp of air at the same time, slowly exhaling it under the command of Hyunjae’s hands. “Better?”

Juyeon nodded. “Yes. I can do this.” He grabbed Hyunjae’s hands, engulfing them in his own.

“I’m here.”

“Yes. I’m sorry that it’s really is hard for me to talk about this, but Kevin said I should when I felt comfortable doing so, and I do, I’m ready to tell you. I want you to know that I’m telling you this because I trust you, and I want to be with you one hundred percent, but I won’t feel okay about it until this is out. I thought of telling you last night, but you took the time to tell me about the injury in your leg,” he gave Hyunjae’s hands a light squeeze, “which I really appreciate, I hope you know that, you’re beautiful Lee Jaehyun, no matter what anyone else says.”

The older blushed at the small praise.

“So I thought it wouldn’t be correct of me to bring this up, and have you thinking I was trying to downplay the severity of the accident you went through, because it really is not like that. But I must tell you about how I was involved in an accident too, and its consequences. Remember how I told you I’ve broken my wrist?”

Hyunjae nodded. “Yes, you’ve told me.”

“And the scar on my forehead?”

“Of course.” He removed one of his hands from Juyeon, and went to pet his forehead underneath the bands, touching the scar softly. The movement soothed the red haired, who closed his eyes appreciatively. “Tell me about them.”

“They happened at the same time.”

“Okay.”

“As you can figure out I was in an accident, over a year ago. A year and two months ago, to be precise.”

 _Oh._ As much time as his.

“And it was… a pretty bad one. In fact, according to the doctors I was very lucky,” his eyes started getting red rimmed as he remembered, “most people in it died, so I’m very thankful.”

“Most people? What do you mean?”

“I mean thirty-one people didn’t make it. I was on a bus. It overturned on the highway. Only twenty-one passengers in fifty-two survived. I was one of the few who made it.”

 _What_. Hyunjae knew this story. His heart started beating fast.

“You probably saw it on the news back then, it was a bus coming from –”

“Busan.” Hyunjae interrupted, as cogs started to turn in his head.

Juyeon eyed him surprised. “Yes.”

“Long distance bus number A128, from Busan to Seoul.”

“Exactly. See, I told you it was on the news.” He continued, oblivious to the much more confusing reality. “The product of a drunk driver. Thankfully he was arrested. But yes, I was one of the people involved.”

_And so was I._

What was happening.

Juyeon, his Juyeon, his boyfriend of one day, had been on the same bus he had, ove a year ago, where he almost lost his leg, and so much more.

Was this some sort of twisted fate? Them both almost dying but making out alive to be together?

Hyunjae couldn’t think.

“Well, and as you’ve probably figured, I broke my wrist there, and well, I also fractured my skull. But that’s not all.”

Oh.

“Actually this,” he took his free hand to his scar, touching it lightly, “caused a very big concussion, and I suffered some serious internal bleeding near my brain. So I -” he paused suddenly.

Hyunjae couldn’t even motion for him to continue, still processing that they had been there on the same day. He wanted to interrupt Juyeon and tell him so, but he didn’t know how. And it seemed his boyfriend still had something else to add.

“Hyunjae.” He grabbed Hyunjae free hand once again, squeezing both tightly and lowering his head. “Hyunjae, please believe me when I tell you this changes nothing of who I am, or that I’m not actually some weird teenager stuck in the body of a twenty-seven-year-old and trying to act like it because it really is not like that, please believe me, but -”

Hyunjae very suddenly got the feeling he knew where this was going.

And things were becoming very scary.

“But the concussion caused me a severe case of amnesia, and when I woke up two weeks after the accident, I couldn’t remember the past six years of my life. I still haven’t, and at this point, I’m not sure if I ever will.” The bomb was dropped.

Hyunjae froze.

“My last memories are from enrolling college. Actually, I could barely remember Changmin, just knew he had been my roommate, but he told me what he could of our college years, and then my siblings and our friends helped with the rest but I still don’t have any memories from around when I was almost twenty-one until I was twenty-six years old, last year.”

There was. No fucking way.

It simply could not be.

Coincidences like this didn’t just happen.

This could not be reality.

Or at least this could not be Juyeon’s reality.

Not when Hyunjae’s own had been waking up one year and two months ago, drowning in pain and not knowing where he had last been, and then some unknown guy storming in when he called for someone, telling him how thankful he was that he was awake, before Hyunjae had asked him who the hell he was, and then two hours and a prolonged chat with a very concerned doctor and his family later, the crushing diagnosis that the last five years of his life had been washed away from his mind.

He had never seen that guy again nor cared, and had been a master of deflecting the whole long-term injuries subject because it hurt to speak about it, carefully naming it just The Incident, and asking his closed ones to refer to it as such too. He had slowly learned his way around a five-years-older society, while also more literally learning how to walk again, after weeks, months, stuck in a hospital bed.

And now with Juyeon, he had finally been feeling like he could move on, like he had his own shot at happiness after going through so much, that he would eventually tell Juyeon about it but he would understand, and not leave him, because he was a very great guy.

But suddenly all thoughts were swimming in his head, and all the pain seemed to return. Because in a very sick twist, the conversation they needed to have, and that Hyunjae had been postponing, would never be about if Juyeon understood and respected Hyunjae’s past.

Juyeon had been in the same accident. He had been there, in the same space as Hyunjae. And then had suffered the same fate because of it. In fact, Juyeon had forgotten and entire year more of his life than him.

How could this be.

And how had they not heard about each other, when Hyunjae was sure he had learned the names of all survivors. He had asked his family about all of them! Had contacted them!

A puzzle piece was missing.

“Hyunjae? Please, you’re not saying anything, but I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. I’m still me -”

His voice got drowned out in Hyunjae’s ears, as an uncontrollable shiver went through his whole body, his head feeling very dizzy from one heartbeat to the other. He drew away from Juyeon and closed his eyes in reflex.

The very vivid image of Juyeon appeared behind his eyelids, sat on this exact sofa, beaming up at him brilliantly, drenched in sweat and naked chest heaving, inky coloured wet strands covering his eyes. _Black hair. Again._ The clear image was being seen from above, Hyunjae also watching his own hand pushing the other’s bangs back, feeling himself smile and languidly move his body on top of Juyeon’s, the beautiful stretch of –

He started to shudder, forcing his own train of thoughts to stop, eyes opening wide in horror.

It had been too vivid this time.

And nothing was making sense, but also, maybe, everything was.

The last puzzle piece he needed. That had been in front of him the whole time.

“Hyunjae?” His boyfriend put a hand on his leg, trying to comfort him as he saw his face slowly paling, having no idea the dimension of the turmoil he was going through, the life changing conclusion he had just reached. “I’m so sorry, I know I should have waited to tell you -”

“D-did you -” he finally managed to let out, interrupting Juyeon with a voice he couldn’t even recognize as his own, laced in panic. “Before that. Did you use to have your hair black? Like, almost blue?” He just needed to know. Even if he was sure he knew the answer.

“How did you..? Well, yes, I did, but I’m sorry what -”

Hyunjae stood abruptly, thoughts swimming in his head at miles per hour. Thinking about how he had felt similarly, yet never with this intensity, throughout the past fourteen months.

The understandable feeling of having been there before, when he got discharged from the hospital and went home with Younghoon and Chanhee, or when he first got back to work.

The more unsettling one of having seen Juyeon’s living room before.

The way he knew this practice room had a storage closet.

The clear vision of them, just minutes ago, dancing together, in some place he didn’t remember, but younger, different.

And now. Just now.

Unexplainable moments which he had blamed on his own confusion and unreliability all the other times, but that suddenly made all the sense in the world.

Juyeon had been on the same bus. The same bus as Hyunjae.

And he couldn’t remember. Just like Hyunjae, he couldn’t remember.

Five years for Hyunjae. Six years for Juyeon.

Enough time. More than enough time. Time to meet someone, to fall for someone. To build a life with someone.

Hyunjae dared his mind to consider it, to imagine it for one fraction of a second. To consider that Juyeon had not been on that bus LIKE him, but WITH him.

No, it couldn’t be, things didn’t happen like that.

But then how could everything just fit together so well? How did he know Juyeon looked different once, before THEIR accident?

He felt terrified as every piece of the puzzle connected in his brain.

He had been alone. Everyone had told him he had been alone.

 _“You’re single, have been for all these years.”_ Chanhee had told him in that bitterly familiar hospital room, with a sadness in his voice that Hyunjae had placed as pity for having to tell him that he had not found his person in between the five years his brain had erased.

But maybe that sadness had meant something else all along.

Hyunjae needed to go home. Or he was going to collapse.

“Juyeon, I -”he started walking backwards, his whole body trembling.

“What? Please just say something.” The redhead insisted, getting up as well.

“I need to go.” A single tear fell from his eye. Unprompted, uncontrollable. Hyunjae wasn’t an easy crier, but what else could he do in this situation.

Juyeon didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and then his faced crumbled in front of Hyunjae, as he realized what he had just said. The expression was so grieving, he hated to know he had been the one causing it.

“Please don’t do this.” He pleaded. “Hyunjae, please don’t leave, you have to believe me -”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Juyeon, I swear I will explain everything later.” And he would. He had to. He just could not do it now. He had three thousand different questions in his head, and he needed answers.

“But why -”

“I’m not trying to end things between us. Believe me.” He pressed a hand to Juyeon’s face, feeling the soft skin underneath. More tears fell down his face, a mere euphemism for the turmoil he felt inside. “But please understand. I really need to leave. I -” he stood still for a moment, taking in the features in front of him.

The feline eyes, marred with unshed tears, looking at him with something akin to desperation. The lips, for once downturned, but still beautifully curled, and oh so kissable. The memorable nose, that Hyunjae had traced with his fingers last night as they made love to each other, that had eskimo kissed his so many times already.

Had this been his all along?

“I’m so sorry Juyeon.” He lastly said, removing his hand and turning around. He would not be able to handle the look in Juyeon’s eyes again.

He got his coat out of the hanger in one swift motion and stormed out of the room, not looking back as he hung his head low and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't reply to all comments last chapter but PLEASE KNOW i read and reread all constantly and that they're my motivation to keep sharing this story. This chapter was originally longer but since it was already getting big, I'm spliting it in two, because I was also tired of leaving you without updates. College kicking my ass sucks.
> 
> Once again for their dance scenes I inspired myself in video performances from YouTube.  
> I don't think I need to link anyone Juyeon's solo, but still, here's the link to the [ live performance ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnWHmuypTE8&ab_channel=MusicSTART%21%21), the one I saw for reference and that lives in my mind rent free.  
> For reasons better explained next chapter, I will only put the "Can't Feel My Face" dance video link in the notes of the upcoming chapter, but believe me that it was very inspirational and helped me A LOT with writing the scene. I'm really thankful to it.
> 
> IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING JUJAE SUFFER LIKE THIS, I was crying myself while writing that last scene in. Trying to convey how Hyunjae is hurting but also very very confused was actually very draining, but I'm glad I'm finally sharing that BIG REVEAL (pun intended) MOMENT with you.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjae just wanted to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of blood
> 
> This chapter was very hard to write, as I had to channel Hyunjae's emotions and our boy goes through a hard time here. I cried a lot during the writing process. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it and that this chapter, and Hyunjae's heart, touches you like it did mine while writing it.  
> Enjoy <3

Hyunjae felt lost.

His mind was going at miles per minute, everything in the past three weeks that had not made any sense suddenly being justified by a possibility that seemed so farfetched but yet obvious.

As he walked home, his head hung low against the cold that was unforgiving despite his coat, he kept replaying everything Juyeon and him had ever mentioned to each other, all weird facts that had just seemed to fit perfectly.

The familiarity of the places Juyeon frequented.

They way they continuously knew how to do the same dances, to the same songs.

The way the other’s lips felt like the best touch he had ever experienced, but also like something Hyunjae’s own had been waiting for.

The comfortable way Hyunjae had given himself to Juyeon the previous night, because something in himself _knew_ that it was with him his body belonged.

The wonderful night they had had, feeling a familiarity as their bodies pressed against each other's, that had been more than welcome, but that now felt unsettling. Neither of them had wondered how they just _knew_ what buttons to press to bring the most incredible sensations out of the other. _So naïve._

And the visions plaguing his mind just moments ago, by merely standing next to each other. By dancing next to each other, in Juyeon’s workplace.

 _The dancing._ His brain paused, remembering something. _Of course._

He pulled out his phone, an idea forming in his mind that would have sounded crazy half an hour ago, but that was starting to look like it would explain a lot. He just desperately needed answers. Or at least one. And he had a hunch of something.

After all, people had told Juyeon to not watch his own dance videos from past years, and maybe Hyunjae finally understood why.

He opened YouTube, searched for the channel of Juyeon’s dance studio, and scrolled down the dozens of tutorials, practices, workshops, in the page, his mind set on finding that one music. It had to be there, it was the only explanation.

Finally, in between various videos posted some two years ago, there it was.

It was almost scary how he had been so close to finding this and yet never… the evidences had been right under his nose the whole time. He shouldn’t have just stuck to the new videos the channel posted whenever. _Jesus Christ_ , he should _really_ have searched for older ones.

Because the thumbnail for the video “[47 Studio] Can’t feel My Face – The Weeknd (Choreography by LJY)” was definitely small, but Hyunjae could still recognize himself in a photo. In fact, it wasn’t hard to understand that from the three people at the front, the one on the right was him, and the one in the middle was, of course, Juyeon.

With his hands shaking, both from the biting cold and the inner turmoil he felt, he pressed play on the video.

Almost everything looked the same. It was Juyeon’s practice room, that much was evident from the familiar couch on the right. But this time, several people faced the mirror, all vibrating in their spots waiting for the chorus to start.

When it did, it was the same dance, of course. The one he had tried out next to his boyfriend minutes ago, even if he wasn’t sure it was something he had learned by himself in the past months.

The Hyunjae in the video, his hair almost white (of course), stood at the front, Juyeon next to him with (of course) blue-black strands, visible underneath the red beanie he was wearing. They seemed to be guiding everyone who was learning the routine, alongside the person that stood on the other side of Juyeon.

 _Changmin_ , his brain provided.

That was Changmin. He didn’t know what made him so sure of it, but he just knew. Changmin. Not just Juyeon’s friend. _Their_ friend.

It was overwhelming seeing himself in the video. He seemed so happy, so carefree. Around the middle of the song, his younger self and Juyeon started teasing each other, tickling one another here and there, and he felt himself flush when Juyeon touched his younger self’s butt shamelessly, Changmin laughing at their antics, while not breaking formation. Everyone else in the video was cheering them on, clearly amused too.

The was no mistaking the emotion in each other’s eyes every time they locked gazes, like they were proud to let people know how enamoured they were, and it was puzzling for Hyunjae to see such an open expression of love painting his face.

As the video reached its end, he watched as young Juyeon repeated the same motions they had done together earlier, before Hyunjae had shamefully fled the scene. However, the Juyeon in this video went bolder, and instead of making young Hyunjae twirl until he stood with his back pressed against his, Juyeon made him do half more of a spin, and then, once younger Hyunjae’s chest was pressed against his own, planted a kiss square on his lips. His younger self smiled into the kiss, reciprocating it with just as much vigour, the hollers of everyone in the room drowning out the song.

The video ended there, and Hyunjae, having stopped walking and being merely rooted to his place in the middle of the side walk since the pair started kissing, closed his eyes, letting the unexpected tear roll down his cheek ( _god_ , when had he become such a crier).

As he took a much-needed breath however, he saw the scene, right behind his eyelids, just as if he had been there. Or better, _he_ _had been there_ , but it was still overwhelming to suddenly recall it. The sensation of Juyeon’s lips feeling like home against his, as the room cheered around them like they had never seen a couple before, like Hyunjae had not been there for all of Juyeon’s workshops.

He remembered Changmin had tried to jump his back, effectively pulling him back from his lover, and screamed at them. That part had been after the video had cut, but he was sure that was how it had happened on the day it was shot.

“Please take your sexual tension home, thank you!” their friend had complained.

The memory was over just as soon as it started, a fleeting moment Hyunjae couldn’t grasp in is hands, but so clear, so real.

His hunch hadn’t been wrong.

He knew all pieces of the puzzle fitted together, but now this. _This_ was more than solid proof that their chance encounter almost a month ago had not been not the first time they had met. Juyeon and Hyunjae were together in the past, and very much in love.

They just could not remember it.

And yet why? He didn’t understand how, or why, everyone around him had hidden it from him, from them. Why had they never been introduced? Why was he never told he had a friend named Changmin?

He recalled that morning, earlier, how Juyeon’s little brother had reacted when he saw him. The flabbergasted but also scared look that had painted his face. Because of course. He knew who he was too. If Juyeon and him had been together before, then his younger sibling would have known Hyunjae.

Why was his past year starting to look like nothing but a lie?

He finally lifted his head and properly took in his surroundings, eyes widening as he absorbed the landscape around him. _Fuck_. He hadn’t even noticed where he was going, just trying to dash to as far away from that dance studio as possible.

He had meant to head home but now he didn’t know where he was.

He looked around. On his right stretched the grass and gravelly paths of a small park, playground zone full of little kids enjoying themselves, with some parents watching them. On the left, on the other side of the road, a bland looking tall apartment complex contrasted against the wintery sun, the windows in the several stories reflecting the light.

He looked at both sides one time more before going back to his phone. The overwhelming video was still open, but he pushed that to the back of his mind for the moment and opened the GPS app, intending to find the nearest route home. The app immediately pinpointed his location, and Hyunjae briefly read the name of the street he was in before opening the search bar.

He started typing in his address, but an alarm went off in his head, and he halted his actions to frown at himself, mind hazy and confused.

His gut was telling him something. Like there was something here he should be seeing, something out of reach, but closer to his grasp than ever. The name of the street was silently staring at him, demanding his attention.

He lifted his head slowly, taking in his surroundings a second time, the buildings on his left almost like a looming presence that he suddenly couldn’t shake off.

Now, if there was one thing Hyunjae had learned in the past months of his life was that his mind was not to be trusted. Too many black spots where memories and puzzle pieces should have been, too much of a world five years older that he had struggled at first to adapt to. And _yet_.

And yet, nothing made sense anymore, but building number 4, snuggled innocently in the middle of the others, with the obviously best view to the green park on Hyunjae’s right, seemed like something different. Like something he wanted to reach out to, that he _should_. And Hyunjae couldn’t help but question a lot of other details. Because he knew perfectly well where he lived, had relearned the paths between the apartment he shared with Chanhee and Younghoon and the important spots in the city seamlessly, and was used to let his imagination wander whenever he went back to it from his lone walks.

So _why_ had his distracted mind taken him through this unknown path, today of all days? Why today, when Hyunjae had, for the first time in an entire year, recovered memories from the depth of his mind? Why today, when he had reached unprecedent conclusions about what his life had been before his accident?

 _Building 4._ What did that one mean?

He threw caution out of the window, accepting that no revelation today would top the video that now figured in his YouTube history, and crossed the street to the other side, heart hammering as he finally reached the building, the 4 above the entrance staring back judgmentally. He eyed the key panel, numbers waiting for the residents to input the code that would open the door.

Hyunjae closed his eyes and scrunched his nose, begging his brain to not fail him this time.

The code. He needed the code to open the door.

_C’mon Hyunjae, you’ve come all the way here already._

Some seconds passed, and he sighed as he looked forlornly at the panel once more, accepting that his mind had just been playing tricks. He turned to leave, dejected, going back to the sidewalk and starting to walk away, when finally, like the curtains opening to a room he had once seen but forgotten, there it was. As if he had never forgotten it in the first place.

7842.

If the code hadn’t changed in the meantime, then it was 7842.

He didn’t know how, but he just _knew_.

He turned back to the building and typed it in frantically. Without any sort of resistance, the glass door opened beautifully, glee taking over all the other darker emotions that had marred Hyunjae’s day for a moment. He had been right. This building meant something.

He walked in, eyeing the white walls of the entrance. It was amazing being already here, but he definitely had somewhere to go now. Recalling the code had been like opening a gate, more information than he could take in pouring, messy parts of a bigger something that he was trying to put together. But at least, he was sure of where he had to go.

Foregoing the elevator in front of him, his fast pacing heart not on board with the waiting compass that would require, he started climbing the stairs. He needed to go to the fifth floor. Fifth floor, door A.

He thanked all deities that during his frantic climb he hadn't crossed paths with anyone, avoiding the chance of being called an intruder by someone, and soon he was in front of the incriminating door.

Once again, he was stopped by a keypad, this time on the handle, waiting for the inhabitant of the apartment behind it to casually put it in. And it was just _so clear_ , memory materializing in his mind clearly.

The code was 1315.

Thirteen-fifteen, which they had chosen because _“it’s our birthdays hyung, so this should be our code”,_ the voice of Juyeon provided in his mind, coming from a distant place that belonged to their past.

And deep down, Hyunjae knew what would be behind this door. He had been pushing it to the back of his mind, prioritizing just getting to the place itself, but today had been about remembering Juyeon, hadn’t it? And if they had once stood in front of this door, deciding on a code to save as their key, together – Hyunjae wasn’t stupid. He knew _why_ , even if he wanted to avoid the crushing reality.

But should he do this? He could barely remember some two or three moments with Juyeon in the past. _Yes_ , two years ago they had very blatantly been together, the YouTube video had answered that for him, but everything still felt like a very hazy fog. And it had been over a year since their accident too. This house was most likely someone else’s now, and yet here he was, risking being flagged by some dweller and arrested for trespassing.

Hyunjae sighed, considering his options. Today he had not only realized that he had not been alone at the time of his accident, but that the person he was currently falling for, had barely started a relationship with, had been the one there with him on that hellish day. Not only that, their relationship had not been recent, as two years prior the seemed to have already been together, and steadily so.

His family and two closest friends had gatekept him from finding out about it and lied to him about what most (if not all) of the five years he had forgotten had been. Juyeon’s close ones had done the same, and as more minutes ticked by, the better Hyunjae understood that some of Juyeon’s friends were just as much his - like Changmin, like Eric - and everyone had successfully hidden their existence from the other for over a year.

At first, he couldn’t help but ask himself, had he been living with Chanhee and Younghoon when the accident happened?

But the answer was just so obvious now.

_Of course not._

_Of course_ _he hadn’t_. Neither had Juyeon been with his siblings. _This_ was where they had been living. This door. This apartment. The evident answer to why his mind had taken him here when all he had wanted was to go home.

 _Home_. This had been home.

 _Fuck it._ Hyunjae just wanted some damn answers.

He typed in the 1315, door responding with nothing but a click (much to his relief, thankful that the code hadn’t been changed), and he walked in.

He closed the door behind him and took off his coat, putting it in one of the hangers on the right, also leaving his shoes on the rack underneath it. He walked in carefully.

The apartment was definitely empty, all blinds shut and bathing everything in darkness, but he could still make out some features. On his right, there were two doors, and further away, in front of where he stood, a last third one, all closed for the moment. But to his left, without any wall separating it from the entrance, stood what dubbed as living room and kitchen, the open space concept putting a forlorn look in Hyunjae’s face. It was pretty. Despite not being an overly big apartment, it looked spacious, even in the dark.

He walked over to the closed windows on the spacious room, and opened all blinds, peaking at the wonderful view of the park he had just seen outside, sunlight streaming in and colouring the space around him. A fine layer of dust coated all surfaces, but he could still appreciate the cosy look of the apartment. For a moment, he even regretted walking in, the disturbing feeling he often had, of having been somewhere before, stronger than ever.

The kitchen area, now standing on his left, had cupboards made of wood, and two seats in front of the island counter. He walked over, also opening the blinds behind the stove, and looked around, speechless. It wasn’t hard to see it once he found himself in the place, almost as if Juyeon was there with him. The two dancing around each other in this kitchen, figuratively and sometimes literally too, Hyunjae trying to make dinner while Juyeon freestyled sillily to whatever top100 hit was playing on the small radio that - as Hyunjae looked to confirm - stood installed above the sink.

Next to the kitchen area stood a dining table, but he decided to ignore it, as well as the living room, and went instead to the doors.

The first one, that had been in front of him when he entered the apartment, led to a spacious bathroom, equipped with a large bathtub, some hygiene products still on top of it even as the whole placed looked unused.

Hyunjae could feel it as he looked over everything. They had used this bathtub often. Whenever they felt exhausted, when nothing but the embrace of the other and the comfort of warm water seemed okay, switching places between who held who in their arms and who got to trail kisses down the back of the other.

Happiness. Contempt. Love. So much love. All those emotions that had belonged to a Hyunjae of the past - a Hyunjae that had everything he wished for in the form of one person who loved him just as much - came back to him, making him dizzy. Sometimes all he needed were small gestures, acts of love as simple letting him nap against a naked broad chest, kisses pressed against his hair and nape. And he could _feel it_ , Juyeon had filled his life with so much of that.

He left the bathroom, the tears wanting to come back but Hyunjae strongly holding on.

He went to the next door, and regretted it all the most.

It was a bedroom. Their bedroom.

And if seeing their bathtub had been overwhelming, then this was worse.

He walked over and once again opened the blinds, situated above the bed, and sat on it. He passed one finger through the layer of dust coating the bedside table, his whole hand trembling with the gesture.

This was not his bedside table. It was Juyeon’s.

Juyeon, who slept on the left side of the bed, always embracing Hyunjae no matter the season, Hyunjae himself having grown used to the furnace that kept him comfortable in the winters, but forced him sleep without a duvet in the summer.

He opened the top drawer, thinking it would be empty, but surprising himself with the fact that it wasn’t. Inside it, only two items stood, and he heaved a gasp as he looked at both. The first was a thriller book, obviously Juyeon’s ( _he loves to read, always with a pile of new books on their coffee table_ ), but the second.

The second was a half-used bottle of lube.

He carefully took the incriminating flask out of the drawer and eyed it carefully, the grieve suddenly overpowering him. He could see it. Not memories of last night, of writhing underneath a gorgeous red-haired man, but of one who looked just the same, except with dark hair. Hair that was inky blue when bathed in the sunlight of their lazy mornings, when they woke up before their alarm clocks and made love in the time borrowed from their sleep schedules. And hair that was pitch dark in the night, when the two left the blinds open and chose the moon as the only witness to the incandescent passion they shared, breaths and sweat mingling together, bodies becoming one.

There was no space for blushing at what the object in his hand meant, in the midst of the overwhelming sadness he felt. This was theirs, something that had belonged to the intimate moments of a Hyunjae and Juyeon that fate had erased from their own selves. He felt miserable looking at it.

The tear finally escaped his eye.

He threw the bottle to the cushions decorating the headboard, and got up to leave the bedroom, throwing one quick glance at the empty desk in the corner ( _his small home-office_ , a his faint memory provided), and to the en-suite bathroom on his left that he knew had a shower - in contrast to the bathtub of the other -, but otherwise choosing not to explore more of the room. This had been the intimate space of two people that he should know, but didn’t, and oddly enough, it felt like an invasion.

He decided instead to explore the final door, trying to shake away the sorrow his bedroom had given him.

He entered the last room and turned on the light.

 _Oh_. This one he remembered. He had already seen it today.

The giant mirror lining the entirety of the left wall, the two practice mattresses laying on the far corner underneath the (also closed) window, next to a modern speaker system, and a giant mat hung on the wall behind the mirror ( _a sound damper_ , his mind provided)... This was the room he had seen behind his eyelids, after dancing with Juyeon in his studio, once they had ended the routine and stopped to catch their breaths.

The memory came back in full force as he walked further inside the incriminating space, the very obvious _practice room_. He pictured the two of them, creating together the routine which they had danced to earlier that morning, and that Hyunjae had seen a video of just moments ago.

He recalled how they had brainstormed through steps, overplaying the song and kissing here and there between breaks, until finally collapsing after hours of working on it, both laying down exhausted on their bed, and only waking up for dinner time, choosing to go for take-out, too tired for anything else. Hyunjae also remembered how Juyeon had complained later, as they lazed around on the couch after eating and showering, that their sheets smelled terribly and they should have never slept on them all sweaty. How Hyunjae had only smiled goofily back at him, nothing but love for the younger and his antics.

Hyunjae considered what Juyeon had told him earlier that day, _“Sometimes I wish I had a bit more space at home. Just to prepare classes and dance for myself.”_

 _Oh Juyeon, if only you knew,_ he thought sombre. _You’ve had your home practice room all along._

He turned around and left, heading for the living room, the one space he still needed to explore.

This was starting to become too much, but he knew he couldn’t leave now. After all, the apartment was very evidently empty. The dust collecting in every surface showed that no one had been living here for quite a while, Hyunjae would bet on one year. It was almost as if they had taken Hyunjae and Juyeon out of their home after the accident, but left it here still, waiting for the owners.

The worst was thinking about how the two of them kept finding missing pieces in their new lives, in this past year - from Juyeon’s need of a home practice room, to Hyunjae wishing to find something like what Younghoon and Chanhee had - and realizing that in the end, they had had it once.

And memory, a tricky thing, alongside everyone around them, had stripped them away from it.

What was the reason? Had they broken up? Was that the one thing his mind still had yet to bring memories off?

He shook off his thoughts for the moment, as he eyed the TV set and the very tall shelf lining one of the walls of the living room area. He smiled involuntarily at how many books they seemed to hoard – or Juyeon did -, almost all nooks filled to the brim. Hyunjae started walking over to check on the spines, when something else caught his eye.

In the mantlepiece, behind the sofa, stood a canopy of frames, some big, others polaroid sized. All of the photos were hard to make out from the distance, coat of dust making the pictures blurry, and so Hyunjae went over and grabbed the largest one, cleaning the dust with his sleeve.

His heart stopped for a moment. No matter how many memories he had conjured today, how many conclusions he had reached about his past, nothing would be enough to prepare him for a photo of him and his family, standing together with sincere smiles on their faces next to Juyeon, his brother Eric, a young woman, and an older couple, who he assumed to be the rest of Juyeon’s family.

Not assumed. They _were_. As he looked at the photo for longer, the more certain he became of it.

Juyeon’s family. And his. A photo of what _family_ had meant for them once.

Hyunjae had already grown accustomed to the feeling of tears silently falling down his face, the fresh new ones now appearing when a brief _“thank you for taking care of Juyeonie, you’re just as much our son”_ echoed from a distance place.

He put the frame back and grabbed another one, cleaning it too.

This one was painful to look at. They just looked _so young_. In the photo, green landscape framing them, stood Juyeon with blonde hair pushed back and a beautiful, so beautiful, smile lighting up his features, his arm slung around a man who was slightly turned to him, and that almost seemed foreign to Hyunjae. The look of love in the face of his younger self, copper brown hair falling over his forehead as he side eyed Juyeon, made his heart clench. They looked young and in love.

Hyunjae absorbed this new information, tucking it next to the rest, and further completed the puzzle. In the midst of all his revelations, he had forgotten to ask himself for how long they had been together. At first he had considered the two-year mark of the video he had seen earlier, but that had been stupid of him to think. They had already been living together at that time. They _ought_ to have a lot more of history behind that.

This photo was a very firm confirmation. Because according the very brief roll of pictures Younghoon and Chanhee had let him see of the five years gone from his brain, this coppery colour had left his hair a long time ago. Only photos dated from a maximum of three years back had had it present.

So their relationship had been at least four years long.

Enough time to build a life with someone, which the home surrounding him was living proof of.

He placed the photo back, and grabbed another one. As he carefully wiped it clean, he frowned, confused at the combination of people. Facing him with silly smiles were Juyeon, Chanhee, and his co-worker from IT, Haknyeon.

_What?_

He grabbed and cleaned another one, that just further confused him. It was him, next to a boy with plump lips and round eyes, as well as Juyeon’s brother, Younghoon, and Sangyeon from work.

He put it back and went for another, desperation slowly creeping up his features. All these people knew each other?

 _C’mon_ , he willed his brain, _you’ve done so well today. Please, what is going on? Please remember these people._

He stared at the photo, this one a selfie of him with two boys, one with almond shaped eyes – Changmin. This was Changmin. He had just seen him minutes ago in the video –, and another of high cheekbones and feline eyes.

 _Wait_.

He remembered this person.

It had been a long time ago, but it was an encounter he had never forgotten, that had left a question on the tip of his tongue which everyone around him had elected to ignore. Just a simple _“Who are you, and why do you know who I am?”_.

Because that man had been the first to realize he had woken up, back in that hospital room that he pushed to the back of his mind most days. The one that had hugged him briefly and told him how relieved he was because _“you both gave us the scare of a lifetime”_ , before squeezing his hand supportively.

 _Oh, how dumb he had been, to not read between the lines_. The man had said _‘us’_. Back then, Hyunjae had only innocently asked “Who are you?”, to which the man had paled and left the room in a rush. It had been the last time he had seen him.

It made sense now.

He noticed an inscription in the corner of the photo, written with permanent ink on the glass of the frame, and he brought it closer to his eyes.

It was in English, just a short ‘ _happy birthday, from your bro kev’_.

Kev.

_Kev_. 

Short for Kevin.

Kev, short for Kevin, his friend.

Not just his friend, but his closest one.

The one he shared jokes with, that bantered incessantly with him, never losing fire.

His best friend.

After Younghoon and Chanhee, who had been with him for years, this was – had been - his best friend.

The rest came easily once his mind settled on who Kevin was.

Kevin, who had forced him and Juyeon to decorate their mantlepiece with pictures of their family and friends because he was “ _not allowing this disgrace, this looks boring and sad, we’re printing photos to put here_ ”, and who had been dating Jacob for far longer than they had known each other.

Jacob, who he found in a fourth photo next to him and Younghoon, an artfully written 97s on the top corner of it.

And then everyone else, when he finally found a large selfie with twelve men pressed together to fit the camera that Juyeon was holding, some smiling, some making faces.

Juyeon and him, and ten other men. Their close circle of friends.

In the photo stood Kevin and Jacob in a soft embrace, next to Younghoon and Chanhee, making finger hearts together, next to Changmin, who had an arm thrown around Sangyeon from work – no, not ‘from work’. This was just _their_ Sangyeon, the oldest of the group, the one that had gotten him the interview for his job. It was the same for Haknyeon, who stood in front of Sangyeon in the photo, and who was so much more than just an IT expert. He was Hyunjae’s friend and protégée. Hyunjae had even been the one to subsequently get him the interview for the position he currently occupied.

Haknyeon stood in the photo with his arm thrown lazily over the shoulder of a red-haired boy with plump lips, the same from the photo earlier. It was his boyfriend, the one he mentioned so often at lunch, and that now had a name. _Sunwoo -'_ who wasn’t only a boyfriend, but Hyunjae’s snarky friend too, and more importantly, Eric’s best friend.

Eric, who stood in the photo with blonde hair and a blue dip dye, making faces, and who could be Juyeon’s brother, but also knew Hyunjae sometimes better than he knew himself. Eric, who had helped them be together.

And then lastly, the boy Juyeon had mentioned often, always with fraternal softness in his voice. The young and talented dancer that worked with him and Changmin, Hyunjun. Hyunjun, who was indeed all of that and more, but to whom Hyunjae acted like a mother hen mostly, an endless soft spot for the boy with feline features. The feeling was evident even in the photo, as Hyunjae’s younger self stood with his arms wrapped around Hyunjun’s neck, head peaking from behind his younger friend and making a silly face at camera.

They used to hang out as frequently as they could, a tradition that stood unmoving – _since college_ \- even if they sometimes had to count on the absence of one or two for work reasons. _Their_ group of friends, that had been split apart, Juyeon remaining aware of almost all of them, from what he had already told him of his present days, while Hyunjae ‘kept’ Chanhee and Younghoon, with Haknyeon and Sangyeon as extra presences in the background, that he had never considered as part of this until now. His memory had merely fooled him into thinking the two had approached him at work out of pity, and nothing else.

He had been so, _so_ wrong. They had been there as the close friends they were, in the way they could, for a Hyunjae who acted as if they had never spent weeks-long holidays together.

Hyunjae had definitely overestimated himself. This was more than he could take in. He had come here for answers, but in the end, all that he had been given was more questions, and a sense of betrayal from everyone that ever knew him.

He pulled out his phone with shaky hands, pressing one of the four numbers he had on speed dial. He wondered if Juyeon had once been his number one emergency contact.

Something told him that yes, _of course_ he had. Just like he had been his.

The call connected, Hyunjae not even hearing what his friend said before he simply breathed out, full of grieve, “Chanhee”.

A long pause echoed from the other side, and he waited for some sort of reply, heart hammering in his chest.

_“Is everything alright? Hoon is here too, talk to us.”_

He almost wanted to laugh. How dare they ask if anything at all was alright, when Juyeon’s existence had been kept from him by the two - by the ten - of them.

“Chanhee, what’s going on?” he questioned, the voice almost failing him.

_“Uhm?”_

Why were they being so clueless, when this was their fault?

“You told me there was no one.” He replied while he shook his head, willing the tears away. “Oh god, -” How could he even express what he was feeling? How could he explain that a photo of him and his boyfriend, and his ten closest friends, stood in his hand, unassuming, while a table full of many others mocked his entire existence?? “There’s so many photos, what is happening.”

 _“Jae? Please talk to us. Where are you?”_ Younghoon’s voice sounded alarmed.

“I didn’t live with you two, right? Before my accident.” Hyunjae was feeling himself almost losing his voice, but still found it in him to huff at the stupid question he had just asked. He already knew the answer to that one. No, he lived here. “Of course I didn’t. Everyone has been lying.”

 _“Hyunjae, please, where are you?”_ Chanhee insisted through the speaker.

Hyunjae closed his eyes as he searched the best answer, angry that his friends were not understanding, that they were still trying to look clueless when Hyunjae had already figured everything out.

“I’m home Chanhee. I think I’m home.” he replied with finality, before shutting the call. If they were not willing to drop the act, then Hyunjae would deal with them later.

He wanted - he needed - to be alone right now.

He placed the photo back on the mantlepiece and moved to the couch, sitting on it and trying to bring back any of the feelings of having been here before, of having shared this space with Juyeon.

The apartment was indeed beautiful, cosy and homey. Everything well taken care of even if left for abandonment so long ago.

He smiled, despite the tears, at the large SMART TV in front of him, something he was sure had been his demand, so he could play his video games, and then looked at the wooden coffee table where some circle marks from mugs stood, next to a small jewellery box that –

He _froze_ , blood draining from his face. 

A jewellery box. Small, discreet. The type used for rings.

He didn’t have the chance to contemplate for a little what that meant, for the memory hitting him was so powerful, he would have stumbled if not for the fact that he was already sitting down.

He was eyeing the sunset on a beach, bathing in the glow of the breaking dawn, when the absence of Juyeon at his side had him turning behind, only to find him standing on one knee, holding the exact box Hyunjae had just seen open in his large palm, one simple band eyeing him innocently. He recalled how Juyeon dedicated him a speech so beautiful, he could feel what his younger self had felt at the words, the love too strong to fit inside his ribcage. And of course, how he had replied with an enthusiastic ‘yes’ in the end.

Hyunjae felt all the blood leaving the rest of his body, as reality set in.

Juyeon and him had not been just dating. They had been _engaged_.

He grabbed the small box with shaky hands and opened it, seeing not one but two beautiful, similar rings looking at him. He took both and placed them carefully in his palm. These small objects held so much meaning, he felt his whole body trembling. He knew he shouldn’t, that he really shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but take the smaller on and put it on his ring finger.

It fit perfectly, of course. This had been made for him after all.

He lifted his hand to look better at the silver contrasting with his pale fingers, but regretted it almost immediately, when the memory that had returned just moments ago completed itself.

He clenched his eyes shut, his mind trying to take in all the information flooding him at once.

The two of them passionately celebrating Hyunjae’s ‘yes’, in a house and bed that was evidently not their own.

Hyunjae being handed Juyeon’s twin ring and putting it on his finger, the two holding hands, clad in nothing but the bed sheets, the metal clicking against each other.

The two leaving that same house later that day, heading for – oh, _exactly_ – a bus station.

Hyunjae being on a bus - a suddenly very familiar bus – typing away on his phone, until the whiplash of brakes being violently pressed threw the phone out of his hand.

And then, he could see it.

He could see it so clearly.

The Incident.

_Their accident._

Vivid in his mind as if he had just been there.

The excruciating pain he had felt, as the side of the bus collapsed against his leg, coating his light pants in red. The way that had been nothing in comparison to the absolute horror he had felt when Juyeon passed out next to him, face slowly getting covered in blood, right before –

Nothing. Right before nothing. Nothing else, just darkness.

Just darkness and waking up to that stranger – no, not a stranger anymore. _Kevin_ – welcoming him back.

He opened his eyes, a waterfall of tears now unstoppable.

For over a year now he had wished so hard to remember how it had been. How his life had been, but in particular, how it had felt inside that bus. If people had screamed. If he had felt any pain.

He wished he had never.

His heart was hurting like it never had. For his one-year-ago self, who had seen the light leaving Juyeon’s eyes and been impotent to do something about it. For Juyeon, who before being claimed by his pain had looked at Hyunjae confused but so worried for him. And for them, for their life together, for the next step they had agreed to take together, mere hours before, all thrown into nothingness. They had suffered so much, only for the existence of the other to be erased from their minds.

And all he could do was ask why. Just _why_. _Why had no one told them._

Ever since putting the pieces together, back in Juyeon’s studio, Hyunjae’s head had been filled with the worst scenarios. Had the relationship been straining? Had their friends tried to protect them from finding out they were hurting?

But no.

They had been happy! They had been okay! They were engaged!

They had been together until the last few minutes, and no one had told him. No one had told _them_.

The most important part of their lives, the most important person in Hyunjae’s life, and everyone had hidden it.

Why had everyone lied?

And how could he ever face Juyeon again, knowing something like this? Knowing that they had built a life together once, all destroyed in the matter of seconds in a mere traffic accident?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note for better understanding:  
> The biggest trigger for Hyunjae is places. Being in physical places that mean something to him is what makes him remember moments the best, which is why that feeling of "I've been here before" accompanied him even if he couldnt understand why.  
> So being in the place that was his HOME is too strong of a trigger, too many things that he is trying hard to piece together flooding his brain all at once. The fact that he cries or is on the verge of it for basically the entirety of this chapter derives from this, every little corner in that apartment gave him a sense of sorrow, of loss.
> 
> As promised, [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcsg-WPHOPk&ab_channel=MTV) is the dance practice I used as inspiration for all dance scenes involving this song. Picture it with the girl in the center as Juyeon, Hyunjae of course as the boy on the left in the 88 shirt, and then the girl in a cap on the right as Changmin. This video was very inspirational to me, the scenes would have been garbage without me sampling inpiration from it, so I'm really thankful.
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed this Hyunjae centered chapter, it was one planned from mthe start, and I'm glad the chapter is complete. #StaySafe
> 
>   
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


	8. In Media Res (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jaehyun met Juyeon.

**_“In media res”_ ** \- The practice of beginning a narrative by plunging into a crucial situation that is part of a related chain of events; the situation is an extension of previous events and will be developed in later action. The narrative then goes directly forward, and _exposition of earlier events is supplied by_ **_flashbacks_ **.

Taken from [ “Encyclopaedia Britannica”](https://www.britannica.com/art/in-medias-res-literature).

**

Jaehyun first met Juyeon on a Monday afternoon, in one of his college’s dance studios.

Jaehyun was junior, on the business management track, and had been part of the school’s extracurricular dance club for three years now. While it was nothing serious, it did give him four extra credits per year, and the team always put out their heart on the semester-end performances, even if some members always felt they lacked in comparison to the performances of the dance majors. 

With a performative arts faculty right inside campus, it was known that some dance prodigies were _de facto_ attending Jaehyun’s university, but he was a believer that his team had, if not just as much skill, then as much drive. They simply had chosen not to pursue dance as a career. In fact, the university’s extracurricular dance club, or ECDC like they called it, was made with that purpose. So that students who were majoring in other fields but still wanted to pursue dancing as a hobby, a sport, could do so. 

Nothing really forbade the actual dance majors to attend it too, but with usually bigger competitions and evaluations to prepare for, an additional performance to practice for was too time consuming for them. And yet, everyone shared the same practice rooms. ECDC only had access to one of them, while the dance majors were allowed to use all if they needed to practice, but they usually respected each other’s spaces. The timetable of all classes as well as ECDC’s practices was displayed at the entrance after all. Every coach, teacher and student could be aware of it. They rarely crossed each other’s paths.

In the position of leader, honourably given to him by last year’s seniors, earned even if he was not to become a senior yet because of his “passion for dancing and dedication to the club”, Jaehyun tended to preoccupy himself with the club more frequently than his eight mates. “Don’t let yourself get too stressed over our practices, hyung” his (arguably favourite) freshman, Haknyeon, would tell him, most of the time in vain. As the black horse of the university’s showcases, their club had a reputation to uphold.

So with November just a mere days away and the shadow of December’s Christmas showcase above them all, Jaehyun found himself that afternoon staying in their practice room for an extra hour after all his peers had gone home. He just really needed to finish the choreography. They had less than two months to have the performance ready, the dance NEEDED to be complete soon.

He was thinking of a new step, eyes focused on the mirror as the music played lowly around him, when the door opened carelessly, a boy with earbuds in walking in nonplussed, and definitely not noticing Jaehyun, that had jumped at the sound. He turned to pierce the other with an irritated stare, for not having at least knocked, but with the unknown boy remaining unaware, Jaehyun found himself doing a double take as he took in his looks, more than off putting to his very gay self.

In Jaehyun’s humble opinion, media had a tendency to create an image of the typical college student that was very unrealistic. Movies and shows tended to cast some thirty years old actors to play those 20-year-olds, so the characters would look mature. They also tended to pick designer outfits and contour their faces into model features that didn’t fit the actual eyebags, late bloomer zits, dishevelled hair and pajama bottoms of what a true college student was. So really, if it weren’t for the sweatpants and baggy t-shirt the boy was wearing, Jaehyun would have thought he had just stepped into one of those low-budget movies. 

The boy finally noticed he was not alone in the room, jumping a little at Jaehyun’s presence and proceeding to stare wide eyed at him. That gave Jaehyun an extra chance to analyse his features, and to further prove his own argument. Staring confusedly at him, dirty blond bangs falling over his forehead, the boy had slanted eyes and curled up lips that Jaehyun was sure artists would love to draw. His nose was adorably ( _Jaehyun no_ ) long, as was the man himself, defying Jaehyun’s usual position of towering over people that weren’t Younghoon.

Frankly, lacking any type of makeup, and just slouched into his practice clothes, the boy looked like all of Jaehyun’s ideal types merged into one wide-eyed college student. He was sure he had never seen anyone this handsome on the college campus. And he was friends with one Kim Younghoon and one Choi Chanhee.

He felt extremely irritated.

Why was this unnecessarily handsome person interrupting the already little time he had to practice alone?

“Uhm, I’m sorry.” The boy said timidly, taking his earbuds out. “I thought this room was empty, it said so in the timetable…”

 _Oh, for fucks sake. Is he even real?_

Jaehyun had to pause and actually consider if he would dignify him with an answer. Not because it wasn’t an extremely plausible assumption, but because _the man’s husky voice_ had just irritated him further. How dare this person have both things going on for him? Looks AND voice?? How dare he be like that and still want to use Jaehyun’s practice room?

He inhaled slowly, put on his best unreadable expression (he wouldn’t want this unknown boy to figure he found him offensively attractive), and finally replied, “Yes, I was just here trying to finish some things, for the ECDC, I’m -”

“Oh, you’re from the club.”

Jaehyun halted. _Oh no, hell no._ Not the crude assumptions from the dance majors. His entire face morphed into a frown and he interrupted the other with a barked out “What? What is it? Just because this is a hobby for us I won’t have you saying that we don’t deserve to be here, I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.”

The other widened his eyes worriedly, waving his hands in front of him. “Oh, no! I didn’t mean it like that! Please don’t think that! I was just surprised because I had never met any of you.”

Jaehyun’s entire stance deflated. “Oh. Okay. Sorry.” Maybe he had overreacted a little bit. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” The boy tilted his head pensively. “Has that really happened?”

“Uh?” He frowned, confused. “Oh! You mean the misjudgment?” he finally got, letting out a snort. “You would be surprised. Your classmates have tried to tear down the club some times already, we’re still standing because the teachers are more persistent than they are.”

The boy eyed him innocently. “That sucks man, you’re all very good, I don’t get why the dance majors would want to dismantle the club.”

Jaehyun shrugged. “Guess they don’t like the idea of a group of amateur dancers not being terrible even without their schooling.” he retorted smugly. 

The other replied to him with an eye smile, the corners crinkling beautiful. _Gosh he’s too handsome._ “That’s stupid, dance is an art form above everything. If they’re threatened, it’s because you’re all very good. I’m glad at least the professors know that.”

Jaehyun blushed slightly at the comment. “Thank you. But yes, ECDC owes them a lot.”

The other nodded along. “So you were practicing?”

Jaehyun paused, surprised. He had actually forgotten that for a moment. “Oh. Yes. Just trying to finish some things. You know, Christmas showcase coming up and all that.”

“I see,” the blonde smiled. “I was actually here for the same thing, I get it. But please,” he motioned to the mirror in front of them, “don’t stop on my account, I can wait for you to be finished.”

Jaehyun felt some relief being lifted off his shoulders. He had been ready for the other to tell him ECDC’s schedule was over and that he should leave still.

He offered him a smile for the first time. “Thank you! I won’t take long, just trying to finish this part here.”

“Take your time. As long as you don’t feel weird about the one man audience."

“I’m more than used to an audience, don’t worry.”

“That’s cool then. I’m Juyeon by the way. Lee Juyeon.”

“Lee Jaehyun. And thank you, I’ll be finished in a second.”

**

"You could add a wave in there." the voice of Juyeon interrupted Jaehyun's moves.

"Uh?" he paused, arm still raised.

The other looked at him innocently, admired that he had actually stopped on his account. "When you lift your arm. You could add a body wave to the move. Wait, I'll show." 

It had been two weeks since their first encounter and, after it being the third time they met up after Jaehyun's group practice, it had become an unspoken agreement to do so all Mondays. The day they met, Jaehyun had stayed over for an extra fifteen minutes, Juyeon sitting quietly in his corner until he was finished with the last steps, saying a courteous "You did well, fighting!" on Jaehyun's way out. 

The following week hadn't been much different, with Juyeon arriving while Jaehyun was in the middle of (proudly) finishing the last steps of his group's choreography, but with neither halting because of the other's presence. Juyeon had quietly gone and sat in the same place as before, and only nodded along to the music, while Jaehyun sweated out the last of his energy for the next ten minutes. The one difference that day had been Juyeon's "See you next week!" while Jaehyun left, which had officially sealed their deal. 

Amazingly enough, Jaehyun had even been able to keep more or less silent about Juyeon's existence in front of his friends. He was well aware of how unnecessarily excited they would become if he commented that he was now sharing his practice time with an objectively handsome boy. 

(Who was he kidding. Juyeon's looks still awestruck him every time he walked into the room.)

On the first Monday, he had merely commented with Younghoon and Chanhee, while they had dinner, that he had seen _the most beautiful human he had ever laid eyes upon_ , to their surprised looks. However, Chanhee's comment of "This is interesting, I don't think we've ever seen you saying something like that about someone just based on their looks." and Younghoon's question of "Did you talk with him?" had been replied with a mere "No. He was probably a dancer about to go to his practice and I was leaving mine, I just happened to look." and that had been it. It would hurt no one if he was omitting some information, although Chanhee had given him a strange look, blond hair falling into his eyes.

So now here both were, Juyeon in his corner while Jaehyun extended his practice for a little longer (he just really wanted to clean all steps before showing the full choreography to his group), the only exception being that Juyeon had commented on Jaehyun's dancing for the first time.

By now, he knew the other wouldn't do it out of malice, not after the brief nods of approval he had given him some other times, so instead, Jaehyun stepped aside and let Juyeon position himself in front of the mirror like he was. "How should I do it?"

"I meant like this." Juyeon replied, and proceeded to do the same final moves he had just been mastering, copying everything flawlessly, but ending it with a body roll that technique wise was perfect, but that would probably forever live in the darkest parts of Jaehyun's mind, for other reasons. Jaehyun was very gay, and only human. 

_Shit. He's good. And hot - shut up._

"That's..."

"It's okay if you don't like it, I just thought it would be nice."

"No no, it was perfect, really. Sorry, I'm just surprised that you memorized everything just by watching me."

"Oh" Juyeon's cheeks reddened beautiful. "I guess it's not hard for me to grasp choreography."

Jaehyun grinned at him. "I'm adding that step to the routine. You must be really good if you memorize steps that fast. Seeing you dance must be nice."

Juyeon felt clearly embarrassed with the compliments but still added quickly "I don't know, there's a lot of great people in my classes. It's hard to stand out. But I hope I get to show you one day."

Jaehyun could do nothing but reply to him with a smile of his own. "Can't wait for it."

**

And so two weeks later, they added an extra feature to their arrangement. 

"Would you like to stay?" Juyeon had asked him, hope in his voice.

"What?"

"For my practice. Would you like to stay? I just feel it's wrong of me to stay here and even point out stuff in your routines and you not doing the same. Usually Changmin stays and helps me out but he works on Mondays and you're like, an amazing dancer yourself -"

"Who's Changmin?" Jaehyun interrupted, already feeling his face getting red by the second at the harmlessly thrown compliment. 

Juyeon smiled fondly. "My roommate, he's a dance major too."

"I see." he added nonchalantly, ignoring the utmost foreign feeling of animosity in his gut.

"But please? I would really love to show you my solo. Can you stay today?"

And well, how could Jaehyun say no to that.

He should have left. 

He should have left, never to return, even the following Monday, because now he was here and witnessing Juyeon dancing first hand, and it was just too much. 

It was mesmerizing, passion evident even in the tips of his fingers, the contemporary routine molding his body into the most beautiful shapes. The person Jaehyun had gotten acquainted with for the past few weeks was gone, and in his place stood a creature of grace, of powerful expressions and piercing looks, the moves so fluid, he looked boneless. 

As Juyeon ended the routine, sat on the floor hugging his knees, the song fading into nothing, all Jaehyun could do was stare jaw-slacked. How could this person have any interest in whatever he had to say about his performance? Juyeom was lightyears ahead of him. 

The other lifted his head slowly, the innocent smile that he was more used to associate with his features present again. "So, what do you think?" he asked, giving a small shrug as he got off the floor and dusted off his pants, "Not too bad?"

 _This man is unreal._ "Are you kidding me?" 

"Uh?"

"Until now I thought you meant it when you said you weren't that great, you know? That's on me for being stupid. I mean, I know how hard it is to be in the dance program, but well, there are some big prodigies attending, that's common knowledge, and I thought you meant not everyone can be one. But no, you're... I'll be honest, if I didn't already know you a little bit I would think you're just downplaying how good you are to receive compliments," he paused to let out a chuckle, "but you've done it often enough for that not to be possible which means you really don't see it. And that you're not told enough times how talented you are."

The other stared back mutely, before lowering his head bashfully. "I -"

"So to answer your question," Jaehyun was nowhere near finished, "I don't think it was _not too bad_. I think it was amazing. The way you put emotions in your moves… I don't understand what you could possibly get from the feedback of an amateur like me. Not when you're this skilled. It's very obvious why you got accepted into your faculty."

"Thank you." Juyeon replied earnestly. "I think I needed a bit of support. My teachers -"

"Please, they have to be blind if they're criticizing you."

"It's not exactly criticism, it's more of… this is for the evaluations at the end of term, and it's not finished. Constantly being reminded that I'm behind doesn't help."

That had Jaehyun frowning. Juyeon had been going out of his way to help him quite some times now, and all this time he had been behind his own schedules too? "So what you showed me wasn't everything?"

"No, it was the first half. The second one… I guess I should start thinking about it, right?"

Yep. This man was crazy. 

Being the leader of ECDC meant Jaehyun knew part of the evaluation system of the dance students. All individual performances, such as Juyeon's, happened on the Christmas showcase, just like the ones from the musical department, the acapella choir and, of course, ECDC's. And December was about to start. Juyeon was _BEHIND_. Majorly so. Of course he had started coming alone to the practice rooms, well after classes should be over for him. 

And yet, this angel of a man had chosen to focus on Jaehyun's practice instead, sacrificing time of his own to help him out. 

He punched Juyeon's arm lightly.

"Hey," he protested, "what was this for?"

"You could have told me! We're like four weeks away from the showcase, of course your teachers are concerned. I shouldn't be the one using this room for the extra practice, it should be you!"

"Please don't downgrade the importance of your practices just because mine have an evaluation attached to them."

"That's exactly what I'm going to do! You need this to pass your course!"

"You know I'm still happy I helped with your club."

"I know you are, you selfless bastard. But it's time I'm one too." 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'll help you. I don't have the skills or knowledge you do but I can give some constructive criticism if you need it. And put some discipline on your schedules. You definitely need that."

The other's face became progressively more flustered as Jaehyun kept argumenting. He wasn't wrong after all. It wasn't even that Juyeon was a procrastinator. He just tended to spend a lot of his practicing time either brooding or overthinking his decision to pursue dancing, thoughts like "Can I even do this?" swimming around his head. 

He explained Jaehyun just as much.

"That just makes what I said even more valid. What days can you be here, at this hour? I'll stay with you and help with what I can."

"Are you sure? You don't have to just because I -"

Jaehyun put his hands in front of him. "No, no, stop right there." He ordered, effectively stopping Juyeon's spiel. He took a moment to compose his thoughts, before a small fact bit the back of his mind. "Wait." He frowned, contemplative. "I just realized, I don't know your age. What year are you in?"

"Year? Like, in college? I'm a sophomore."

 _Oh_ , the glee Jaehyun suddenly felt. _Perfect_. 

He offered Juyeon the most mischievous grin he could muster, before simply stating "I'm a junior. That means I'm your hyung. So you," he pointed cheekily at him, "have to do as I say. Because I'm your hyung. Therefore I know best."

Juyeon stared blankly at him for an absurd amount of seconds, before blinking back into reality and making a dumb question. "You're older than me?"

Jaehyun shrugged. "Well, unless you failed a year, I am." He giggled delighted before continuing. "Oh boy this is perfect, I have the authority!"

Juyeon whined. "This isn't fair, I really thought you were younger. Or at least my age."

"How could I be the leader of ECDC and only be a freshman?"

At that, the blond widened his eyes. "You're their leader? I didn't know, that's so awesome!" he exclaimed with wonder. "This explains so much, of course you are, you always stay overtime and you're such a great dancer…"

"Well, yes, I'm the leader." he interrupted curtly, trying not to let any unnecessarily overjoyed emotions show through his voice. Why was Juyeon constantly complimenting him nonchalantly like this? _Get a grip Jaehyun._ "And _that_ gives me even more power to meddle with your schedule. So please, which days do you have free?"

Juyeon sighted defeated. "Well, you know I come here on Mondays. Tuesdays and Wednesdays usually I practice with Changmin, because we also have a duet to present."

"And how's that one going?"

Juyeon shrugged. "It's okay. Practically finished. Changmin is better at keeping up with deadlines."

"Changmin sounds like a wise person next to you."

Juyeon whined lowly before choosing to lock his face into a pout. Jaehyun absolutely _did not_ think it was cute. "Don't say things like that! You sound like my teachers."

Oh. _True_. He really did. 

Fuck. 

Here Juyeon was, telling him how his teachers made him feel insecure, and yet Jaehyun was acting just like one. "I'm sorry Juyeon, you're right, I shouldn't have said that. Please tell me if I'm being too much. You don't have to put up with me if you don't want to."

"I don't mind if it's you, hyung." Juyeon's pout turned into a warm grin. "I was just joking."

Hyung. 

_Hyung_. 

Jesus. Why did the word sound so different coming from him? Jaehyun had to try really hard not to overthink the butterflies he got in his stomach, the giddy happiness he felt, from having the younger calling him something as simple as that. It was just a form of courtesy! 

"T-then," he tried (and more or less failed) to recompose himself, guilt from his earlier words gone and forgotten, "do you think you can be here on Thursdays and Fridays? I have club practice on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I'll already be here those days. But I can make it on Thursdays too. I'll just bring my stuff to study and you can show me how you're doing. Until the showcase. What do you say?"

Juyeon still looked uncertain. "But are you really sure -"

"I've told you I am. And this is also a win-win situation. Don't think I won't also cash in on your help for my club's presentation."

That final sentence seemed to sell the idea to Juyeon at last, who caved in with a smile. "Okay Jaehyun-hyung, then I'll be here next Thursday."

**

"Hyung." 

"Yes?" Jaehyun lifted his head from his notes. He was sitting against the wall of what had become their designated practice room, books scattered around him, while Juyeon improved the last twenty seconds of steps he had just created to show him afterwards.

"I was thinking -"

"Congrats."

Juyeon eyed him deadpanned for a second, before Jaehyun's shit eating grin caught up to him and he just deflated into a lazy smile. "As I was saying, I was thinking, and is it okay if I call you something else? I mean, other than Jaehyun-hyung?"

He eyed the younger confused. "What do you mean?"

"I know it sounds stupid but there's like, two Jaehyuns in my course and one of them is my hyung too, and I don't care as much about them, so I would really like to be able to call you something different."

Jaehyun stood immovable, not sure if he was going to combust on the spot, melt into a puddle, or implode within himself. All seemed like great options. Juyeon was politely asking to give him a nickname because he didn't want to look at him like just yet another Jaehyun he knew. The older was probably painting quite the picture right now, with how red he felt his entire face. 

"You can just say if it's too weird hyung, I don't mind."

"I - I feel very touched, Juyeon. Just that. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that I suck with words when they're actually needed."

The other huffed at his comment. "You really aren't. Trust me, you should see my brother."

Such a knight in shining armour personality. "You don't have to defend my honour so intensely. I can be fair with my self criticism." he replied with a chuckle, before straightening his back and offering the other a grin, "So, you want to call me something else? What did you have in mind? Throw me what you got, I can't have you calling me something weird."

"Well." Juyeon scratched his head, which the other knew meant he was either nervous or embarrassed. Or both. "I did actually think about this before coming today. I thought about how I used to be so afraid of finishing my performance and what that would mean to my future, and you were the one who helped me making it into a reality _now_ that I'm not afraid to face anymore… So I thought of that. Now. Present. Hyunjae. Hyunjae, who is part of my present. It also matches your name."

Oh. 

Jaehyun was once again out of words for this boy. He really had gone out of his way to think about this. For him. For simple Jaehyun, who studied boring subjects and danced in his spare time. He was not letting go of Juyeon any time soon. 

_Hyunjae_. It was perfect. He liked it. He loved it. "I love it."

Juyeon's eyes lit up beautifully at the statement, his movements giddy. "You mean it?"

Jaehyun nodded. 

"You're not just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings?"

"Of course not, I would tell you if I didn't like it, trust me."

The cat-like smile he was presented with was more than worth his approval. "Okay, so I can call you Hyunjae-hyung from now on?"

Hyunjae replied in kind, grinning back at him. "Yes, please do it."

**

"You've met someone." Chanhee declared in the middle of dinner the following Friday. 

Jaehyun felt so tired from practice with Juyeon that at first he hadn't even realized the sentence had been directed at him. 

“I have? What do you mean baby?”

“Not you Hoonie.” He whined while playfully hitting his arm. “I mean Jaehyun has.”

He lifted his head startled at the mention of his name. “I what?”

“You’ve met someone. It’s very obvious. It’s all over your face.”

He was pretty sure that at the moment the only thing all over his face was the red from having been caught so easily. _How had they -_ “What do you mean…?”

“Hyung please, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel like it yet. You know we’ll respect your space if you ask.” He smirked at him. “But I’m not blind.”

“I - uh.”

“It’s the pretty boy isn’t it? The one you told us about that one time.”

Jaehyun really had thought his friends had forgotten about it.

“Don’t think I forgot about it.” _Yeah_ , he's figured as much. “You’ve never said anything like that about anyone, ever. Though I guess Hoonie can confirm that better.”

“He hasn’t. When we were six he thought the old lady from the shop next to school was the prettiest human being because she fed stray cats.”

“Stop shaming me Younghoon.”

“When did I -”

“The point is,” Chanhee interrupted the two bickering friends, “we want you to know that _we know_ , and that whoever this boy is, you seem happier and lighter on your feet. So whenever you want, you can introduce us, or just talk about him to us. Whatever. We’re happy for you.”

“No but you have it wrong, it’s not -” he gulped, “It’s not like that, it’s not romantic, he’s just been helping me and I’ve been helping him. With dancing.”

The couple shared a look that for the life of him, he couldn’t decipher and so he chose to simply ignore it. Chanhee looked more amused than ever.

“Okay Jae, we believe you,” Younghoon quipped, although Jaehyun was sure his friend absolutely didn’t, “but that doesn’t mean you have to hide him or something. Introduce us sometime, alright? We’re curious.”

He sighed and scratched his head, looking for words. “Yeah, I’ll think about it, alright? I just don’t want him to feel uncomfortable too.”

The undecipherable stare between the couple returned, but Jaehyun decided to focus on Chanhee’s words instead. “That works of course. You know we’re here for you.”

“Can we at least get a name?”

“Absolutely not Kim Younghoon, I don’t trust you, I know why you want it. No online stalking people I’ve recently met.”

“Okay that’s fair, that’s fair, I understand.”

**

Their occasions spent together gave them time to get to know more about each other. 

Juyeon mentioned his two closest friends, who came from Canada to study at his highschool and had chosen to stay for college too (and probably permanently), and who made him feel sometimes like the most awkward third-wheel, even if they never meant it (“You have no idea how much I can relate.”). He mentioned Changmin, his roommate who he had known for a year now, and who helped him more often than not chase away thoughts of giving up. He mentioned his two siblings, an older sister and his younger adopted brother, of whom he was exceptionally close (“So you basically were the one finding him first? That’s so awesome.”).

In contrast, Hyunjae told Juyeon of Younghoon and Chanhee, of how the two had started dating around a year ago, after a very comical meeting in a science lab (“You mean your friend had been cleaning dog shit out of his shoe??” “Yep, and Chanhee somehow found it endearing.”), and how it was nice to have two close friends to rely on. He told him of his parents and older sister, who were his biggest support, commenting that it was nice how both understood what it was to have a big sister at home.

They also traded more serious stories, stories of not knowing what to do with their lives sometimes, stories of being afraid of following their dreams (“My mom told me I would regret it forever if I didn’t study dancing.”) and stories of coming out to their close ones (“Eric said everyone already knew I was bi anyway.” “Yeah, my family just said that the important thing was to find the person out there that was my soulmate, and that it didn’t matter if he was going to be a man, as long as it was a good one.”)

Hyunjae found in Juyeon a presence he didn’t know he had been looking for, possibly his entire life, a person who pushed him into doing things, even if he sometimes didn’t believe he was capable of them, a person who had absolute faith that juggling a demanding course with an exhausting extracurricular like his dance team was possible because “You’re amazing like that hyung.”, a person whose smile made his insides feel fuzzy with feelings which were definitely foreign. It was very different from his friendship with Younghoon or Chanhee, but so, so welcome. Throughout the weeks, Hyunjae found himself yearning more and more for their shared practice times.

“Juyeonie, you should slow down in that step.” He interrupted the younger on one occasion, unaware of the chaos his words had just caused. 

Juyeon, suddenly burning inside from the nickname his hyung had just used for the first time, lost his footing and dived head first to the floor, his arms thankfully catching up on time and supporting his fall.

Hyunjae got up in a hurry. “Hey, are you okay? What was that?”

Juyeon got up, face absolutely flustered, from both the embarrassment and still the way he had just been addressed. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m sorry. You just surprised me, that’s all.”

“I did?”

“Yes. You called me _Juyeonie_. Just now. Didn’t you notice?”

“Oh.” Now it was Hyunjae’s turn to feel embarrassed. He hadn’t noticed indeed. “I’m so sorry Juyeon, it wasn’t intentional, oh gosh this is weird, I’m so sorry, I’ll try not to do it again -”

“No, no, I liked it hyung.” the other interrupted, alarmed. “No one calls me that, so it’s nice. Please don’t stop.” He smiled sheepishly, ignoring the blush covering their faces, as Hyunjae retributed it with one of his own.

“Okay, then I won’t, Juyeonie.”

**

Before they knew it, it was December, and The Day was upon them. Over a month helping each other, encouraging each other, all to prove themselves today in their respective performances. 

Hyunjae had spent the whole afternoon fretting over everything, fom making sure their song mix went into the right hands, to confirming if the group’s matching fits had arrived with the right sizes, that all team members got to the concert hall on time, and promising Chanhee two weeks of free lunch if his friend did the makeup of everyone - the blonde had only smiled and told him he would do it without him owing him anything, but that the offer had been nice.

Hours later, finally with room to breath, Chanhee having long ago left for his seat next to Younghoon in the audience, and with all nine of the club members fully ready for the performance ahead, Hyunjae allowed himself time to think of his own wishes. He had made a promise, but it was definitely later than he wanted, and he was very afraid he was not on time. He had just checked the schedule and the first performances started in two minutes.

He left their dressing room in a hurry. His team was ready to go on stage, and they were indeed some of the first to perform, but the dance students duos were before that, which meant Juyeon and his roommate would be going on stage _soon_ , and he had promised him he would wish him good luck.

Hyunjae searched between the frantic crowd backstage, everything from people with choir uniforms to ballet slippers slipping by him. Where could he be?

Thankfully, someone heard his prayers, and he saw a pair of shoulders he recognized very well leaving from a door on the left, seemingly still in conversation with someone. Hyunjae smiled happily. _Found you._

“Juyeon! Over here.” he called for him, as he moved in his direction. “Juyeonie!”

The other’s head perked up at the sound, and he turned fastly to look for him, as Hyunjae finally reached him. Juyeon met his eyes, a beam gracing his features, and the two locked gazes for all of a second, intending to greet each other, until reality set in and -

Juyeon stopped, mouth staying agape, his eyes roaming first Hyunjae’s body from head to toe, and then his face. But he couldn't blame him exactly, not since he wasn’t doing something much different.

The person in front of him… someone should have warned his insides against this. He didn’t know this Juyeon existed, and he had not prepared beforehand. _This man is illegal._

Hyunjae really wanted to keep his thoughts clean and friendly only, but _God_ , Juyeon surely made it hard. The younger was wearing a white flowy blouse with a loose black tie and black pants who hugged his pants perfectly - _Hyunjae, no_ \- and had a long silver earring dangling from his left ear. But worst of all wasn’t that, or his dirty blonde hair pushed away from his face, for once exposing his forehead. The black and perfectly styled eyeliner was by far the biggest reason for most of Hyunjae’s malfunctioning. Hell, he had applied dark kohl himself under his eyes, and yet he knew he absolutely did not look like _that_. 

He wondered what was going through the other’s mind. He knew he looked absolutely nothing like him, sinful and made for the stage. Hyunjae was merely wearing a white sleeveless shirt with a low cut, and nondescript blue pants that matched the ones from his team -his look would later be complemented with a blue blazer, but it was very warm backstage, so he had chosen to go meet Juyeon in only his shirt. His make up was also very light, only the black kohl under his eyelids, and in all honesty, the only thing truly different in him would be the blue contacts he had put on minutes ago. But he looked nothing like the artpiece the younger was today, and he wondered what Juyeon was seeing that left him speechless.

A presence loomed next to the younger, Hyunjae only slightly aware of it, his attention hard to deviate from this version of Juyeon he had never witnessed before.

“Juyeon? Juyeon?” the man called for him, but he remained unresponsive, much like Hyunjae himself, simply staring back at him with his mouth open. 

The two stood in their bubble for a few more seconds, until Juyeon finally broke the silence. “You look beautiful hyung.”

Hyunjae felt his cheeks immediately reddening at the compliment. “Thank you Juyeonie. You too. Very much. Very different.”

The shorter boy finally noticed where his friend’s attention had been diverted to, and eyed Hyunjae with a curious glint.

“Uh? Hyung? Hello, I don’t think I know you.” he greeted with a smile.

Hyunjae took his eyes off of Juyeon to finally analyse the person at his side. The boy had strawberry coloured hair, sharp almond-shaped eyes, and was a few inches shorter than Juyeon and himself. His clothes matched with Juyeon’s, contrasting black and white pieces, with silver jewelry complimenting it. which meant this was -

“I’m Changmin! Nice to meet you, even if Juyeon is terrible at introducing friends to each other.” he stretched out his hand, and Hyunjae took it, smiling softly at who he now knew was Juyeon’s roommate and main dance partner.

“Lee Jaehyun. I’m a friend of Juyeonie’s. I helped him with practices.”

“Oh, really? You’re a dance major too?”

“No no, just a regular business student. But I’m the leader of ECDC.”

“ECDC? That’s so cool! You guys are amazing! But I should thank you then Jaehyun-ssi, I know how our Juyeon here can get overwhelmed with his work more often than not.”

“I know, I’ve seen it.” He complained back.

Juyeon, wanting the two to stop making fun of his misery, diverted the attention back to himself. “I was afraid I wouldn’t get to see you before my performance, hyung. Will you be watching?”

Hyunjae turned back to him and smiled fondly. “I promised I would, didn’t I? Of course. I’ll be out there. You’ll do great, I’m sure. Both of you.”

The beam he got in response was worth all the money in the world. “I’ll watch yours too hyung! Good luck, you will do great.”

“So will you!”

Neither noticed Changmin at their side, taking note of the pair’s shared grins, and of the way they had drowned out everything while they talked. _He calls him ‘Juyeonie’?_ _So this must be the reason for Juyeon’s spontaneous smiles at his phone… Well, well, aren’t you two cute?_

**

Watching Juyeon with Changmin was a mesmerizing experience.

They knew the other’s body lines incredibly well, and an outsider would think they had been dancing together since they were in diapers. To Hyunjae, who knew this was only the second time the two got to team up for a project, it added an extra level of awe to his already growing admiration. Seeing the duet complete for the first time, when until then he had only been privy to Juyeon’s side of the routine, had him watching without even blinking. Most of all, he was really glad to see that Juyeon’s friend only added to the quality of the performance, pushing Juyeon into being even more impactful with his own half, the emotions from the dance vibrating in both their forms.

It ended all too soon, and unfortunately Hyunjae wasn’t allowed to stay any longer, or to let his body take in the emotions the duet had just given him, since ECDC was up in only five minutes. He quickly got out of the seat on the front row, where he had sneakily sat to watch the presentation, running backstage to find his teammates confused over where he had been.

As he screamed good luck to all of them, pre-performance jitters making his whole body tremble, he prayed silently that Juyeon would make it on time to watch them. It would mean more than could explain to anyone.

**

The nine ECDC members turned their backs to the audience and stopped, as their performance ended. Jaehyun, in the center of them, breathing heavily from the exertion, moved his head around quickly, checking if his teammates were alright. Despite the sweat dripping down on everyone, and the heavy panting, everyone was smiling happily. They had done it. No mistakes, no injuries. Weeks of practice, all worth it to see the reaction of the audience effusively applauding them from behind.

The nine turned back, and Jaehyun smiled gratefully at the standing ovation they were currently being granted with. His team had worked really hard, they deserved it. The team held hands and bowed ninety degrees, 

Jaehyun roamed his eyes through the audience, spotting Younghoon’s tall stature from the distance, him and Chanhee applauding more raccously than everyone around them. Then his attention diverted quickly to the front rows, his heart not able to avoid searching for a certain someone. 

_I hope you made it._

And as his eyes scanned over the exact seat where he had just been minutes ago, watching the duet on stage, he found him. With sweat still coating his hair, and a jacket carelessly thrown over his performance outfit, there Juyeon was, standing tall and proud and clapping efusely. 

Absolute elation filled his entire being. Juyeon had made it. He had seen his performance.

The two made eye contact, and giant grins blossomed on both their faces.

“YOU’RE AMAZING HYUNJAE-HYUNG!” The blond screamed loud and clear over the applause, making him blush furiously where he stood on the stage. 

Lee Juyeon was a _menace_.

Hyunjae couldn’t ask for anything else.

**

His team returned backstage in the happiest of moods, Jaehyun a mirror of their emotions, and he made sure to thank all eight of them personally for the effort they had just put out there, as soon as everyone sat in their dressing room. The team retorted back that it was only possible because of his diligent leadership. After a more or less heartfelt speech from his part, and once Haknyeon started crying, overwhelmed from this being his first performance, becoming the receiving end of hugs from all his hyungs, Jaehyun took the chance to check the hours on his phone quickly, and smiled to himself. 

It was time.

He ran back to the concert hall, to the spot where both him and Juyeon had already sat, and waited (im)patiently for the girl currently on stage to finish her performance. Juyeon was up next.

Seeing the lights turning off once she left, and then a single beam lighting up on a Juyeon kneeling on the floor, like Hyunjae knew he would be, gave him more anxiety than even ECDC’s performance had. He clenched his fists.

_Please do well. You can do this Juyeonie._

The music started.

Hyunjae watched Juyeon fly around the stage, showing the exhausting routine that he already knew by heart, from watching it so many times for the past four weeks, but that looked so different under the stage lights. With Juyeon in flowy white clothes, strings dangling from the hems, and gliding barefoot across the floor, Hyunjae knew everyone in the audience would absolutely be entranced by him, by the sheer pure energy emanating from his lone figure.

It ended when Hyunjae knew it would, but still too soon, sooner than he wished for. He would have willingly watched Juyeon in his element like this for hours, days, weeks.

He smiled softly at Juyeon, once the man got up, bowed deeply, and scanned the audience, looking for something - looking for him. The two shared a look that conveyed so much and yet so little, and Hyunjae couldn’t help but feel proud, the most warm feeling blooming inside him, from knowing he had helped this happening, had helped Juyeon feel this mesmerizing.

**

As Juyeon left the stage for another student to start their performance, Jaehyun too left his privileged position in the front seats of the audience and went backstage, noticing that his ECDC peers were still mingling around. He remained with them until after all performances were over, changing out of his dancing attire into his favourite sweatpants and making sure they left everything behind them tidied up. 

Before leaving, he took the time to once again congratulate his team on their efforts, and then he went to meet Younghoon and Chanhee, who had already messaged him about their whereabouts. 

He found his two friends at the entrance, where dozens of students and families littered around, some waiting for people still in the concert hall, others simply catching up before leaving. Chanhee greeted him with a hug and a “Congratulations, you did amazing!”, while Younghoon squeezed his shoulder affectionately from behind his boyfriend. 

They parted after some moments, and Jaehyun felt the biggest gratefulness inside him, as the two looked at him with pride in their eyes. His family hadn’t been able to make it this time, but his two friends were definitely the best audience he could ask for. Them and… someone else now too.

“So, ready to go?” Younghoon asked, putting on his coat.

“Yeah, let me just…” he replied dismissively, his head peeking above the crowd of students gathered. _Where is he?_

He started walking towards where it was most crowded, Younghoon and Chanhee following behind him, one with a bewildered look, the other with one of realization. 

Younghoon turned to his boyfriend for some seconds, a silent question in his eyes. Where were they heading?

“He’s looking for him, Hoonie.” Chanhee explained easily. “His boy. He was a dance major, remember?”

 _Oh, so that’s why._ He smirked back to his boyfriend before resuming following Jaehyun, who kept getting further away from him. _‘It’s not like that, it’s not romantic’ my ass_ , he concluded to himself.

After some moments of unsuccessfully staring at people’s faces, Hyunjae finally saw him. He was some meters away, engrossed in conversation with who he now knew to be Changmin, and two other shorter men.

“Juyeon!” He called out for him, albeit unsuccessfully. He kept on calling out his name as he moved forward, Chanhee and Younghoon trailing behind him amused.

The other finally noticed him, freezing for a moment as he looked above the crowd at him, before a beautiful grin bloomed on his face. He dismissed the people around him without as much as a word, and started walking towards him, steps progressively quicker. Hyunjae giggled as they ran to each other, relieved that the other seemed to be as happy as him after his performances.

The hug came naturally, probably more than it should for two people who had never done it before, but given that Juyeon had opened up his arms at the same time as Hyunjae, he knew both were eager to congratulate the other from up close.

“If you don’t have a stellar grade please send all your teachers to talk with me, I demand a word with them.” Hyunjae declared into Juyeon’s shoulder.

He felt the younger shaking with laughter against him, before parting so they could look at each other. “I’ll be sure to tell all my teachers they’ve been threatened by the almighty Hyunjae.” he replied with a smile.

Hyunjae beamed at him. “You better.” 

They looked fondly at each other for some more moments.

“You were amazing Juyeonie. Like. I knew the performance, but under the stage… I’m really proud of you.”

The other blushed furiously, probably not expecting such an effusive comment. “Thank you hyung. It means a lot, to hear that from you. You were so good too, you are your team! You need to let me watch one of your practices next semester, I didn’t think everyone would be as good as you, I was really surprised!”

Hyunjae shrugged embarrassed at the comment. “I guess I’m just really good at whipping them all into shape.”

“Juyeon, who’s this?” One of Juyeon’s friend effectively interrupted from the distance, his bunny teeth visible even from where Hyunjae stood.

Juyeon sighed fondly, side eyeing his curious friends, before looking back at Hyunjae. “They won’t leave now unless I introduce you to them, hyung.”

He smiled at the blonde. “That's okay, I’m always in the mood for some news friends.”

Juyeon huffed. “Okay, then, but I’m sorry if they’re too rowdy.”

He took him to where the other three had stayed, and the five formed a small circle, Hyunjae taking the time to roam over the handsome faces of the three men staring at him, the bunny teethed one looking genuinely curious, and the other one as well as Changmin with absolute mirth in their eyes.

“Hyung, you’ve already met Changmin. And these are my friends Kevin and Jacob, the ones that came from Canada -”

“I didn’t forget Juyeon-ah.” He eyed the two, giving them a short bow and a polite smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Juyeon continued the introductions. “Guys, this is the friend you’ve asked me dozens of times about, Hyunjae -” He stopped mid sentence and eyed the older alarmed. “Sorry, I meant this is Jaehyun.” he turned fully to him. “I mean, I don’t know what you prefer…”

Hyunjae gave him the shiniest beam he could muster. “Juyeonie, relax. Hyunjae is fine. I think I might like it better.”

“Oh.” Juyeon blushed furiously at the comment, not knowing what else to add. Hyunjae prefered the nickname _he_ had given him. His brain was currently static only.

 _“They’re not seeing it, are they? Cute.”_ Hyunjae heard Kevin whispering in English to his boyfriend. Unfortunately, his english abilities were too scarce for him to understand anything beyond the word cute.

 _“It’s amazing, they really are not.”_ Jacob replied with a snicker.

The pair then turned to him, matching grins on their faces, and Kevin bowed just like he had moments ago. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Hyunjae-ssi, Juyeon refuses to talk about you whenever I ask questions, but the way he smiles must mean you’re a great person.”

“Kevin, do you mind? You know why I don’t, you and Changmin are a menace.” he turned alarmed back to him. “Hyung I swear it’s because -”

“Juyeon,” Hyunjae chuckled, “don’t worry, I understand. I have my share of nosy friends too. I didn’t tell them much either just to annoy them.” he ended, smirking. 

It was better to tweak around the truth a little and to save face in front of these three men he had just met than explaining the true reason for his own silence. In truth, he had just wanted to keep what Juyeon and he had alone for a little longer, to enjoy the privilege of his companionship, without sharing it, for a while. Especially since he knew it would not be like that forever. He had realized not so long ago that Juyeon had come _to stay_ in his life, so meeting everyone else they cherished would come naturally, in time. 

Until then, he had wanted to preserve their bubble. 

But maybe today was a good time to change the game.

“In fact,” he looked behind himself at his favorite couple, who stood a few feet away but _obviously_ dying to be introduced too. He called for them with a wave. “let me introduce you too.”

Juyeon turned to the two people approaching them, an easy smile on his face, while Hyunjae opened their little circle to include his two favorite nuisances in. 

“Juyeon, this is Kim Younghoon, my best friend and roommate, and his boyfriend Choi Chanhee who might also be a best friend, I’m still deciding -”

“What the hell hyung.”

“- and who spends more time on my dorm than his own.”

“You’re literally the worst Jaehyun.”

He stuck his tongue out. “I know.”

Chanhee chose to ignore him and instead turned to the other. “Hello, it is _very_ nice to meet you Juyeon.”

“Likewise.” He replied with a bow. “I’ve heard a lot about you two. Please let me introduce you to my own friends as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE PROMISE that the next chapter will not take 2months. I want to apologize for it, my laptop had to get fixed and it was #HELL.  
> I hope you like this chapter, the next one is almost complete, and we're not finished yet with college babies jujae <3
> 
> PS: for refence, jujae's college look is D.D.D's era.
> 
> [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)  
> [ Curious Cat ](https://curiouscat.qa/TheBoyzLovers)

**Author's Note:**

> hihi!
> 
> PS: i "should be" fluent in english but it is still not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> [twitter ](https://twitter.com/breadhyunjae)


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